BFM #71 - E=My Hare Squared
Posted on June 30, 2005
30 June 2005: Cavanaugh’s in University City was the site of the 71st hash. A new venue for the Mob. The pack was gone when Nice Shoes and the Cause arrived on the scene. Self Service, Beer Sucks and Cheep Show were guarding the pack’s packs with Lunar Digit, Mary F*cking Poppins and friends nearby. We all enjoyed our beverages of choice and convivial conversation whilst waiting for the return of the hounds. E=MyCockSquared was the hare so we expected a long wait. Little F*cking Winkie was first in, followed by Skin Fiddle, and I began to suspect there’d been some shortcutting or surrendering afoot. E was next, then Can You Hear Me Now? who had heard him then and "followed him for 3/4 of a mile like a heat-seeking missle." It wasn’t long before the whole horde hovered and we high-tailed it downstairs to a more private place. With our own bartender.
After eating and drinking and making merry, we were called to order by the Ever vigilant RA - E. He gave a different version of the flour transfer, accusing CYNMNow? of "hiding badly behind a sign post, with his ass sticking out." They both drank for laying a sh*tty trail. Virgins were deflowered next - Just Dave and Just Cortney, with Mary F*cking Poppins to blame/thank for their (non)participation. First in was Tinkerbell (for real) and Winkie and Skin Fiddle (having enough sense to return quickly to the bar). Hockessin visitor Hitch Bitch ‘fessed up to being Last in. Winkie was given dishonorable mention for having been too young for one of the pubs on the 69th hash Pub Crawl. Rash and Cause for Blindness were accused of the "grotesque crime" of missing the 69 celebration. Accused for not missing any hash in the last week (6 in a row), and apparently not having a life, were Thunder Thighs and Bitchard. Other overacheivers were visitor Meat Tenderized, Bitchard and Rash for some r*ce or another. That evening’s autohashers were Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck?, Cause for Blindness, Lunar Digit, Mary F’ing Poppins (and friends).
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BFM #70 - Bye-bye Mister Twister
Posted on June 23, 2005
23 June 2005: It was a warm summer evening, perfect for hashing, and the BFM met again in South Philly, this time at The Dive. Hold the Sausage, Fur Snatcher, virgin Varinka, and Cheep Show were enjoying the fresh Philly air as the Mob assembled. Tongue Twister arrived with a special load in his … truck. Beer, safely camoflauged in a cardboard carton bearing the warning: Human Blood. Biohazard indeed! Rash, C*nting Season, Tinkerbell, and See Me, Hear Me, Shush Me arrived, and the Mob was looking like a harem for the hare. Ah but Dancing Fool, Winkie and a couple of visitors - Pimpcicle and Squat - were soon there to even out the odds. Little Red Riding Wood came out of the woodwork. Lunar Digit, Cousin It, and Skin Fiddle, completed the crowd, so the hare designate made off with his flour, into the wilds.
Not a lot of parkland down them parts, but urban shiggy there is. Well place checks kept the pack mostly together, and after 20 minutes, maybe less, we were lured into a warehouse lot to share the promised SN - Tequila shots and mini-dixie cups. And a SWAT team. The culpatory evidences was quickly disposed of and trail was resumed, however reluctantly. Nothing like a burning sip o’ ‘Quila to take the fun outta the run. Marks eventually led near Geno’s where a small bevy of bimbos lost the trail and decided to saunter back to the bar. Cheep Show, Fur Snatcher, and Cause found Bastard Child and Beer Sucks. Skin Fiddle was next back, and Winkie, Pimpcicle and Tinkerbell also came in early. Some went across the street for food and some started early pitchers while we waited for the rest of the pack. And waited for the pack. And waited for the pack. They trickled in, in various states of exhaustion and frustration. Finally the original hare arrived, and at 9:50 E exhorted us to Shut the F*ck Up so we could begin the circle.
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BFM #69 - Sixty Nine’s A Drag
Posted on June 16, 2005
16 June 2005: Looking shockingly civilized, the Ben Franklin Mob Hash House Harriers turned out for the 69th hash pub crawl not wearing hash shirts or running shorts. The itinerary of the crawl, which Grand Master Rash devised, got the approval of Tastes Like Chicken, which is like getting your drug approved by the FDA.
Making their appearances early on were Wolfman Jackoff, Tongue Twister, Tastes Like Chicken, Sternum & Rectum, Sly Fox, Self Service, See Me Feel Me Touch Me, Oral Offender, Oral Offender’s friend, Nut Cruncher, Mulva, Mary Fucking Poppins, Lunar Digit, Little Fucking Winkie, Just Todd, Just Seema, Just Sarah, Just Matt, Just Brooke, Horny Hands and his two apprentices, Hold the Sausage, E=My Cock Squared, Dyke Queen, Drag Queen, Cuntanamo Bay, Cousin It, and Can You Hear Me Now? Like a casting call for a circus freak show.
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BFM #68 - Hare down, on in…
Posted on June 9, 2005
9 June 2005: Thursday again, and the Mob returned to one of our more welcoming haunts, Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar on Passyunk Avenue, a mere stone’s throw from the best cheese steaks on the planet. I arrived early (as I usually do) and chatted up the bartender a bit. He was thrilled to see our club again, and in fact suggested that we call in advance sometime so he could set up something special for us. Waugh! Is that ever refreshing to hear. Anyway, showing tonight were Skin Fiddle, Mary F–king Poppins, Lil Red Riding Wood out of school for the summer, Hold the Sausage (sans Love Machine, still) back with just Sarah, Nut Cruncher, Dyke Queen, Can you Hear Me Now?, just Todd, LF Winkie, and our boot du jour, just Pete from Plymouth Meeting. Also gracing the Mob with his presence was C–t’mo, taking a break from the Beerly Departed page and his home hash away from home, Least Worst. Eventually, Rash showed up and chewed down the Lucky Straw, which went to ‘Hear Me Now very early in the draw.
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BFM #67 - Just the Facts, Ma’am
Posted on June 2, 2005
I. Date & Time
A. 2 June 2005
B. 7:30 HST
II. Location
A. Bonner’s Irish Pub
B. 23rd & Sansom
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