BFM #79 - Winkie’s Back in Town
Posted on August 25, 2005
25 August 2005: Word had gotten the Little F*cking Winkie had winged back from Istanbul, and that Cheap Show was imminently due to immigrate to Florida, so the gang gathered early and late at a new venue, in the heart of Center City - Fadó. Big Tackle, a Philly visitor from Jersey, was scouting for familiar faces when we arrived, so we found an empty seat or two at the bar and began the festivities. We were soon joined by Sticky Fingers, Pound it In and Rash. Just Melissa and Just Beth returned, undaunted by their previous hash abuse. Dancing Queen and Still-Just-Jackie, from Hockessin, wandered in, followed by Stacks, Tinkerbell, Fur Snatcher. Still attracting the women, DQ. Another "visitor," Wolfman Jackoff decided there is nothing better to do in town than r*n with the BFM, Can You Hear Me Now?, unbowed by recent haring, Skin Fiddle, and the Winkman himself crowed the aisle, with Lake Flaccid and Beer Sucks, Cheap Show, and Just Tim (a.k.a. Mr. Show), Mr. Shoes, and The Cause. Rash counted out the straws and began the inevitable … Yes, boys and girls, Winkie drew the short straw. Instant
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BFM #78 - Double Trouble
Posted on August 18, 2005
18 August 2005: It was the bartender’s request, we were told. And the hares’, too. Hare times two. Can You Hear Me Now? and C*nting Season conspired together to confound the hounds in and around T. A. Flannery’s. Out on the walk, CYHMNow? led chalk talk for the benefit of virgins and semi-virgins, and the in-need-of-reminding regular half-minds. "Semi-virgin?" you ask? It seems that Just Beth and Just Melissa had witnessed a fancy-dress BFM hash last year. Apparently it took ’til now to work up the courage to join in, or maybe they just couldn’t find us, and had been patrolling the area in hopes of a Mob sighting. At any rate, they picked a good night for a stroll in the streets. When the pack had scattered, the hares left to attend to the beer check, while Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck? and I retired within to finish our beers before making our way to said check.
If you want a description of the trail, ask one of the hares. I can vouch for the Beer Check, held in an alley near cyhmn?’s place. The sweaty mobsters trickled by for a cold Yuengling lager, or Black and Tan. Or both. Eventually, thirsts slaked and stash trashed, the party was packed up and moved back to the bar.
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BFM #77 - Harey Fucking Poppins
Posted on August 11, 2005
11 August 2005: The National Weather Service issued a heat advisory, also known as an “excessive heat warning,” for the three day period beginning Thursday, August 11, 2005, noting that a “hot humid air mass will continue to build in southeastern Pennsylvania” and that “the warning is in effect for highly urbanized areas.” This message, however, failed to reach the "brains" inside the heads of the people who showed up for the seventy-seventh BFM H3.
The Rash was back, spotted with her cell phone a block from the bar, Callahan’s, 23rd & South. Rumor was she was speaking to her bookie.
Closer to the bar a bevy of other BFM babes chatted outside – Fur Snatcher, Hold the Sausage, Stacks, and Tinkerbell. Inside, where the testosterone was, one could find the ever-gabby Nut Cruncher, Pound it In, and the visiting Balls on Barbed Wire from the Jolly Roger Hash, based in Tampa Bay.
The name, “Balls on Barbed Wire,” really does beg the question of how he got it. He explained - yes, the name describes a fact, and no, he’s not a lesser man as a result. Currently he is cruising on a motorcycle along the east coast, visiting hashes – his next stop is Baltimore, home of Frank Lloyd Thong, and then onto DC, etc. until he returns home to Tampa Bay.
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BFM #76 - The Hare Can Sing
Posted on August 4, 2005
4 August 2005: Approaching one half year into the Reign of Rash, the Ben Franklin Mob Rash Rouse Rarriers returned to Bonner’s, 23rd & Sansom, to do its worst. As usual, the bartenders happily took the cash and reluctantly took the lunacy. A variety of virgins and visitors appeared, along with some well known local miscreants the Mob hadn’t seen in some time. The Rash wasn’t there cause she was Cancuning.
The Orlando-bound Cuntanamo brought a virgin named Just Ethan. Cuntra, a recent and welcome addition to the Mob, brought her man. AKA was here on furlough from the Reading Hash. And there was Penis Envy, in from St. Paul, Minnesota, the state which also spawned Little Fucking Winkie, who is currently crusading in Turkey.
Also present were Just Christine, who I’m Cumming made come to the BFM last week, and Just Annie, who’s housemates with Philly H3 hasher, Sweet Cheeks.
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