BFM #84 - This is Where Chivalry Gets You
Posted on September 29, 2005
29 September 2005: Look, I’m writing this while I’m watching "101 Things Removed From the Human Body" so if I should get a little off track here, you’ll know why. So far there have been a bunch of unintentionally hilarious quotes of the “I’ve seen a lot of things but never THAT” variety, but my favorite is still:
"My advice to someone considering inserting a rectal foreign body would be: ‘don’t do it.’"
Which is really fine advice for almost any situation. You should probably write that down. Yeah, you.
And speaking of other things you probably shouldn’t do, Thursday night was a lovely night for a hash. A number of hashers converged on the ever-popular Bonner’s - Big Tackle, Can You Hear Me Now?, Hold the Sausage, Just Eric, Just Greg, Just Mike, Just Dave, Just Jason, Just Mike - a virgin who sensibly escaped before the circle, Little F*cking Winkie - who did not come to hash, but to eat dinner, the lazy FF — Skin Fiddle, Cunting Season, Strap On, E = My Cock Squared, Dancing Fool, Virgin Pimp, Just Dave, Stacks, Cuntra, Dancing Queen, Rash, L’il Red Riding Wood, a brief appearance by Pound It In, the lovely Sly Fox who had convinced virgin Just Bill to come out. Straws were pulled and Rash was very nearly hare again, but Just Eric chivalrously averted disaster and decided that tonight was his night to set trail all over creation.
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BFM #83 - Worst! Trail! Ever!
Posted on September 22, 2005
22 September 2005: According to the HUGE amount of whining last Thursday, I set what was allegedly the worst trail ever. This trail was described variously as “terrible”, “horrible”, “sucked”, and “like French-kissing my grandmother.” So as “punishment,” I’m writing the trash, which has no whining in it, and has the added bonus of being the truth. So:
What Really Happened
The Mob drifted in one by one – Dancing Fool, Little F***in Winkie and Skin Fiddle in matching outfits, Virgin Pimp, E = My Cock Squared, Nut Cruncher, Just Eric, Lunar Digit, Fur Snatcher, Can You Hear Me Now?, Hold the Sausage, and Just Jason (I think, I’m terrible with names) who previously hashed in Boston. Chatting and drinking prevailed until straws were passed around by the fabulously good-looking Rash, who got the very last, very short straw.
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BFM #82 - the Mob takes Saint Jack’s yet again
Posted on September 15, 2005
Olde City: For the 82nd time in this city’s history, the Ben Franklin Mob Hash House Harriers met for their weekly sport, this time at Saint Jack’s, a bar which has seen the Mob twice before this night, and was once graced by the presence of Philadelphia HHH’s hunting horn.
Appearing for the weekly r-n were club regulars Little F–king Winkie, Pound it In, Dancing Queen, mismanager Rash, resident expat Tinkerbell, aspiring greyhound Hold the Sausage, and chaplain E=MyCock2 and Strap-On, as well as returning rookies just Eric and Dave, joined by Dave’s new boot, just Jerel, who hails from Temple University via Norway. Also joining the Mob was Big Tackle from Philadelphia HHH.
Rash offered the straws for the night’s draw, and the first straw from her hand went to Pound it In, who left immediately to lay trail across Olde City and downtown, venturing through the fringe of Chinatown and precariously close to the Historical District and the US Mint, where Wolfman Jackoff was accosted by federal police last year. Trail went past the Gallery and Jefferson University Hospital, looped around the southern border of Olde City and returned to the A-point in just over two and a quarter miles. Read more
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