BFM #88 - Hallowinkie 2.0
Posted on October 27, 2005
27 October 2005 - So, by and large I stay away from politics, but I feel compelled to say how just pleased I am that Harriet Miers declined the nomination for Supreme Court Justice. Not because of any political bent on my part, but dear lord, have you seen the woman? She’s wearing kabuki eye make-up and George Michael’s mullet circa Wham! Clearly, a person with decision-making skills this poor has no business being on the Supreme Court. I’m just saying.
But speaking of scary Halloween costumes, yes! This week was the world-famous Ben Franklin Mob Halloween Costume Hash and I am STILL drinking to try to forget some of the things that went on. The hash started at McGillin’s, with hashers trickling in one by one, congregating upstairs so as not to frighten to patrons or get confused with the Coors girls handing out Eagles crap (go Eagles!) C*nting Season and Thumbo Suave were the first to meet up since they had volunteered to set trail, mostly because C*nting Season didn’t want to wear a costume. Rash and Oral Oh were the next to arrive, followed by Overexposed and Just Amy from the Reading H3, Skin Fiddle, Stacks, Just Jason, Just CJ, Dancing Queen, Can You Hear Me Now?, Just Elon, Hold the Sausage, Fur Snatcher, Just Fred, Strap On, E=MyCock Sqaured, Tinkerbell, Cause for Blindness, Little F*ckin Winkie, and Spankin Private Ryan. Now, I was going to accuse Oral Oh for some serious procrastination for buying her costume on the way to the hash, but then Winkie actually made his ghost outfit (this is important later) using a penknife and a sheet while sitting in the bar. Once everyone had finally managed to attire themselves in their costumes, the Mob made its way downstairs, through a barful of startled patrons, and outside for the chalk talk.
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BFM #87 - Kind of a Drag
Posted on October 20, 2005
20 October 2005 - I’m really depressed. On Thursday, even though we started at Bob and Barbara’s which has a drag show and which MANY of you have told me is just wonderful and the best time you have since that 6th grade birthday party when you kissed little Scotty Whoever in your best friend’s parents’ hall closet, we did not end at Bob and Barbara’s. So I have STILL not seen the drag show. So, uh, any of you gentlemen would like to come by my place in a dress and heels and lipsynch to some Cher? Anyone?
I’m stuck watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert again, aren’t I? Poo.
Ok, like I said, the night started at Bob and Barbara’s with hashers one by one clogging the sidewalk outside of the bar. The usual suspects were Lunar Digit, Dancing Queen, C*nting Season, Fur Snatcher, Hold the Sausage, Rash, Oral Oh!, freshly back from a wild weekend of yoga, Thumbo Suave, Just Elan and Just Peter, who liked the CYHMNow?/Stacks/Meat Tenderized Philly Hash so much that they came out expecting something just as good from the BFM (ha), Just Jason, Just Fred, and the just-late-enough-to-miss-the-straws E = My Cock Squared and Strap On.
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BFM #86 - Clothing Optional
Posted on October 13, 2005
13 October 2005 - So, for all of you weenies who elected to skip the hash this week, here’s how to re-enact it in your very own home. First, put on your hash clothes, shoes and all. Second, turn the lights off in your bathroom, get in the shower, turn it on, and let the water (cool, but not cold) run for 30 minutes. Maybe jog in place a little bit if you want. Finally, get out of the shower and go walk around a neighborhood bar in your wet underpants. Tada! The hash.
This week, the Mob gathered at Druid’s Keep in the Northern Liberties. It was a small group, but a good one. Bitchard was back in town, having left his wife in England. ("Bitchard! How are you! We haven’t seen you in ages!" "Great! I left Thunder in England!") Oh, she’s just vacationing, calm down. Also there were Little F*ckin’ Winkie, Skin Fiddle, Just Bill, Sly Fox, Rash, Just Fred, Hold the Sausage and Fur Snatcher, both of whom were also at the hash last week, even though the last trash doesn’t mention it (who writes this crap?), Just Kay (virgin!), Thumbo Suave, Tinkerbelle, E=My Cock Squared, and Strap On.
Thumbo was the first to embrace the theme of this week’s hash by asking, "Am I wearing running shorts, or just underwear?" as he was removing his track pants. Thank God he had on running shorts. Straws were drawn, and the lucky recipient this week was the still-pretty-new Just Bill. Sly Fox chivalrously volunteered to help him with trail, and off they went.
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BFM #85 - Oh, The Horror
Posted on October 6, 2005
6 September 2005: You know what I really like? Horror movies. Which works well, because that turned out to be the theme of this week’s hash, which was sort of a horror movie, but with shiggy and a beer check and a lot of bitching.
T Hogans was overrun by hashers this Thursday night, starting with Just Fred from Mt Vernon H3, and followed by Rash, Dancing Queen, Tinkerbelle, Dancing Fool, Strap On, Just Jason, who didn’t start at the bar, but simply showed up on trail somewhere like Latecummer’s long lost brother, Just Eric, Just Mike, Just Greg, Just Liz (a virgin), the rarely seen Wolfman Jackoff, Skin Fiddle, Little F*cking Winkie, Thumbo Suave, Stacks, Can You Hear Me Now?, the also elusive Cunting Season, AND, most importantly the visting Sarah Cunter and Tongue Jury, who came all the way from San Diego just to see us. No body shots this time, though, so if that’s what you’re reading for, well, go find yourself some Jackie Collins or something.
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