BFM #105 - Tickle My Hare

Posted on February 23, 2006

On the evening of February 23rd, the BFM gathered at the Olde City bar, Sugar Mom’s. It is a cool bar to hang out at, with Christmas lights, coloring books, video games, etc.

I arrived early i.e. on time to find Rash, Cunting Season, Scooby Snatch, and Just Mike (a virgin who made himself cum). Soon enough, Tickle My Elmo, Sly Fox, Strap On, and E=My Cock Squared showed up. A modest pack but who can blame those that stayed home…I mean, cummon, the Women’s Figure Skating Olympics were on!

Anyway, straws were drawn. Elmo pulled short straw, thus became the hare du jour.

A short minute later, the hare was up the stairs and out the door. An even shorter five minutes later, the pack was gone, leaving me all by my lonesome at the bar…just me with a lager, and Josh, the tattoo-covered bartender who made sure my glass stayed full.

Bored out of my mind, I resolved to call Thumbo Suavé. Turns out, he was sick…and had to get off the phone because there was something on TV he just had to see…Some Star Trek show. Who knew he was a Trekkie???

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BFM #104 - The Torch, She is Passed

Posted on February 16, 2006

16 February 2006 - Here’s a fun fact: To celebrate the end of the old Mis-Management and the incoming Mis-Management, the old, worn-out GM (Rash) and the brand-new, enthusiastic GM (C*nting Season) elected to pre-lay trail together for the BFM AGM. In the fine style of BFM disorganization, however, neither one brought flour. After several increasingly frantic convenience store trips, an executive decision was made and so trail this Thursday was set in pancake mix.

SO! Trail laid, the two GMs returned to McGillin’s as hasher began to arrive. Dancing Fool and Nut Cruncher were there, as well as Spankin’ Private Ryan, Scooby Snatch, Popeye’s B*tch, Cause for Blindness, Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck?, Little F*ckin’ Winkie, Fur Snatcher (who had arrived to study, not to hash), Hold the Sausage, Can You Hear Me Now?, Tinkerbell, and Dances with Bum’s Urine. Two unsuspecting visitors had also shown up, Fiber Optic from Carolina Trash and Bubble Beaver from Boston. "On On!" was called, and they were off. Rash elected to sweep the trail, and it’s a good thing she did, because it took you wankers twenty minutes to find the first three blocks of trail. A few intrepid (read: lazy) hashers followed Rash directly to City Hall. Along the way, the late arriving Strap-On and E=My Cock Squared and Sly Fox appeared on trail. Finally, everyone located the trail that disappeared underneath City Hall through the Broad Street subway platform. The Mob emerged on the other side of City Hall, past Bum’s Urine’s fountain, through Love Park, and down the Ben Franklin Parkway to the Art Museum. Along the way, someone asked "Is this a BFM Greatest Hits trail?" Yes, yes it was. The Mob continued, up and down the Art Museum steps, through the nearby neighborhood, and onto a beer check at the Cherry Street Tavern. And there were a bunch of surprises at the beer check. Hold the Sausage and as few others had lost trail, but had sensibly worked out where the beer check would be. But also at the bar was Magellan, Bunyip, and Nails QFU, maybe there for work, maybe just celebrating Magellan’s birthday, I don’t know. Either way, after a few pitchers and a chorus of Happy Birthday, the Mob was off again, straight down Chestnut Street back to the bar. Read more

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BFM #103 - Save the Last Trash for Me

Posted on February 9, 2006

9 February 2006 - PHILADELPHIA sort of. Technically, T-Hogan’s Pub is in Philadelphia, and it is easily reachable by SEPTA, but finicky folk find the fact a fiction, proclaim the territory Manayunk or Roxborough or just out-of-town, and boycotted the election. Nevertheless, the Ben Franklin Mob met at the appointed time and did what hashers do - drink .

Can You Hear Me Now? pulled the short one and proceeded to sprinkle flour about. Rumor has it there were few marks and a bewildered pack, even a late application of marks. I’m sure they all had a lovely tour of Manayunk, PA, up hill and down. When I arrived I joined CYHMNow? and Thumbo Suavé in a pitcher of . We continued a discussion of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge until the sweaty pack of hashers returned. Sly Fox and Stacks, Tickle My Elmo and Popeye’s Bitch, Rash and C*nting Season, Fursnatcher and Tinkerbell, and, of course, E=MC^2 arrived pretty much en masse and we repaired to The Back Room.

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BFM #102 - Life is a Bitchard

Posted on February 2, 2006

2 February 2006 - Back to Bonner’s Yes the Ben Franklin Mobsters returned to the scene of many a crime of Karaoke. Bitchard and Thunder Thighs, back from an overseas jaunt (again) and a long BFM absence, were already pitcherd up when yours (ever-so-)truly arrived. As were C*nting Season - Rash proxy for the evening - Dances with Bum’s Urine, and Stacks. Very soon Tastes Like Chicken and a "friend" arrived, as did ScoobySnatchandTickleMyElmo, the PCOM* trio (Justs Greg, Mike and Mark), Popeye’s Bitch, and, , virgins. And, freshly diploma’d Winkie, Sister Heather, Mother Sharon, and Main Squeeze, the Sausage. (Smile, your on CYHMNow?’s camera)

Ms. Season proffered her handful o’ straws to one and nearly all. It was down to CS, Thunder, and … ever-overacheiver Bitchard, who did pull the short one. Musta been an inspiration for him. While Thunder and I kept the Other Winkies company, Thumbo Suavé joined the elite. It wasn’t long before B. returned, all sweaty and full of himself, but out a little cash, having treated the Pack to a Beer Check at Roosevelt’s. Stacks was the leader of the Pack as they returned en masse, with Just Mark bringing up the rear, so to speak.

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