BFM #117 - Victory is Mine!
Posted on May 18, 2006
1 May 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: So this week’s hash was a surprisingly competitive one for the Mob, who‘s competitive achievements to date have consisted of…basically nothing, really, unless you count spawning the worst karaoke participant ever (Little F*cking Winkie). But! in this newly competitive BFM spirit, for the duration of reading this trash, I recommend that you hum to yourself either: 1. The theme to Mortal Kombat, 2. the Olympic theme or, 3. the theme to the Wide World of Sports to yourself. Maybe even picture that one clip that they play while saying “…and the agony of defeat” where that skier goes pinwheeling down the mountain into those orange cargo nets or whatever-the-hell they put on the slopes. Whatever you like. I’m trying to set a mood, here, people. Work with me.
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BFM #116 - Free Beer Today, Two Fists Tomorrow
Posted on May 11, 2006
1 May 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: It was a dark and stormy night when the BFM gathered at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar in South Philly for its 116th trail. Simply average folks may have been put off by the inclement weather; however, the mob is not exactly average. We may not be guaranteed shiggy in our urban hashing environment, but Philly can always deliver crappy weather. Crappy weather AND a trip through a dodgy neighborhood as Philly has no shortage in either department.
I arrived at the bar (on time this week!) with Fur Snatcher to find an autohashing Skin Fiddle holding court at the bar with Cunting Season, Dry Hump, Meat Tenderized, Rash, Scooby Snatch, She Man, Stacks, a clean shaven Tickle My Elmo, and some adorably tiny pony bottles of Miller High Life. Popeye’s Bitch arrived on his bike and was followed by Oral Oh!, Strap On, and E=MyCock². Our fearless GM gathered a fistful of bendy straws and offered them to the eager mob. Scooby Snatch drew the lucky short straw and bravely forged out into the dampness with his bag of flour in tow. The mob waited so patiently, that the requisite five minute head start extended until someone finally realized that we were supposed to leave the bar and actually start looking for flour blobs.
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BFM #115 - Hashus Interrptus
Posted on May 4, 2006
4 May 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: So this week the Ben Franklin Mob met at Buffalo Billiards in Olde City, a nice space with an upstairs…a place we’d probably visit on a normal night….but Thursday is never a normal night when you’re with the BFM.
Tonight, we had $1 bottles of Miller Lite (ehh) and Miller High Life (ewww).
Cunnilingus Interuptus hared a dead trail that wound through the city (invoking disciplinary actions) with a stop at Hard Rock. Note to self…don’t do beer check at a bar that charges $35 for two, yes two, pitchers!!! Ouch…
First to roll in was STD. She "followed her own trail." About 20 minutes later, the pack staggered in (sober from the beer check). Present in the group: Rash, Fiber Opdick, LFW, E=MyCockSquared, Stap On, Jamaican Me Horny, Hold the Sausage, Oral Oh!, Lil’ Red Riding Wood, Popeye’s Bitch (he actually ran trail), Just Maritza, Stacks, Cause for Blindness, SheMan, Just Dan brought Just Brandon, Chilled Cuntlick visiting from the Gator H3 in Florida brought her sis Just Marie.
After gathering about 40 bottles of beer, we followed the pack up the stairs…except those who were in the line behind Popeye’s Bitch who thought that the circle was in the ladies room.
Once upstairs, the circle convened, well as our stand-in RA called it…"A circle of Lazy Fuckers" as the first one’s up the stairs grabbed the available seats and refused to join the standing hashers.
First In: STD
Last In: Lil’ Red Riding Wood
Autohashers: Fiber Opdick
Rash
Oral Oh!
Just Maritza
Cause for Blindness
Visitor: Chilled Cuntlick honored the BFM with it’s first ever choosing of the body part by, without a second of contemplation, lifted her shirt. I think Winkie was happiest…What a hash for Skin Fiddle to miss!!
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