2020: Reign of Silence
Grand Master (Lead Instigator)
Cuff Me The Vampire Player
Cuff Me the Vampire Player is ready to make all your haring dreams come true, with a mixture of bribery and sweet-talking. But don't take her word for it, please enjoy some reviews she received below:
"You're like a substantial human who is likable" - recent bed companion
"You've got huge front teeth! I'm going to call you rabbit teeth" - random drunk guy at a bar
"Even though you and your sister look so similar, I've never been attracted to you" - sister's wife
"Not interested" - eloquent okcupid user
Cuff Me the Vampire Player is ready to make all your haring dreams come true, with a mixture of bribery and sweet-talking. But don't take her word for it, please enjoy some reviews she received below:
"You're like a substantial human who is likable" - recent bed companion
"You've got huge front teeth! I'm going to call you rabbit teeth" - random drunk guy at a bar
"Even though you and your sister look so similar, I've never been attracted to you" - sister's wife
"Not interested" - eloquent okcupid user
Religious Advisors (Everyday Instigators)
Groundhog Lay
Groundhog Lay is the 69th RA for the Ben Franklin Mob.
His story is the American story — values from the heartland, a middle-class upbringing in a strong family, hard work and education as the means of getting ahead, and the conviction that a life so blessed should be lived in service to others. With a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas, he was raised with help from his grandfather, who served in Patton's army, and his grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle management at a bank. After working his way through college with the help of scholarships and student loans, Groundhog Lay moved to Chicago, where he worked to help rebuild communities devastated by the closure of local steel plants.
He went on to attend law school, where he became the first harrier president of the Harvard Law Review. Upon graduation, he returned to Chicago, but don't work there anymore and, like Ben Franklin himself, went to Philadelphia where he was initial born, then raised and, later, on the playground, spent most of his days leading a voter registration drive and teaching hashing to muggles in the community.
He was elected the 69th RA of the Mob on February 7, 2019. He is a hash daddy many times over and is the actual, real life, totally-not-made-up father of Tickets.
Groundhog Lay's years of hashing are based around his unwavering belief in the ability to unite people around drinking (and occasionally running) with purpose. As a hasher, he reached across the aisle to pass groundbreaking lobbying reform, lock up the world's most dangerous weapons, and bring transparency to mismanagement.
Groundhog Lay is the 69th RA for the Ben Franklin Mob.
His story is the American story — values from the heartland, a middle-class upbringing in a strong family, hard work and education as the means of getting ahead, and the conviction that a life so blessed should be lived in service to others. With a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas, he was raised with help from his grandfather, who served in Patton's army, and his grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle management at a bank. After working his way through college with the help of scholarships and student loans, Groundhog Lay moved to Chicago, where he worked to help rebuild communities devastated by the closure of local steel plants.
He went on to attend law school, where he became the first harrier president of the Harvard Law Review. Upon graduation, he returned to Chicago, but don't work there anymore and, like Ben Franklin himself, went to Philadelphia where he was initial born, then raised and, later, on the playground, spent most of his days leading a voter registration drive and teaching hashing to muggles in the community.
He was elected the 69th RA of the Mob on February 7, 2019. He is a hash daddy many times over and is the actual, real life, totally-not-made-up father of Tickets.
Groundhog Lay's years of hashing are based around his unwavering belief in the ability to unite people around drinking (and occasionally running) with purpose. As a hasher, he reached across the aisle to pass groundbreaking lobbying reform, lock up the world's most dangerous weapons, and bring transparency to mismanagement.
Everything Butt Sex
In perhaps the most bait-and-switch hashing origin story of all time, I was introduced to hashing and the BFM by someone who brought me to one hash before promptly moving one time zone over.
Nevertheless, I persisted.
In perhaps the most bait-and-switch hashing origin story of all time, I was introduced to hashing and the BFM by someone who brought me to one hash before promptly moving one time zone over.
Nevertheless, I persisted.
Tits of Steel
Cumming Soon.
Cumming Soon.
On Secs (Witnesses for the Prosecution)
Me Shrub You Long Time
Me Shrub You Long Time began hashing years ago while travelling and was immediately hooked. He bounced around with a couple kennels, loving the trails and enjoying the different faces. The road is a sweet and fickle mistress, but Shrub (as he is affectionately known) found something meaningful in the Ben Franklin Mob. Elated and honored to be back on-sec'ing, he looks forward to giving so much to the kennel that took him in, gave him a name, and taught him how all the marks and checks really lead to people in the end. It is the people that make BFM and the infectious spirit they bring that makes the BFM great. This is a love train, so make sure you get ON-ON and ride with us!
Me Shrub You Long Time began hashing years ago while travelling and was immediately hooked. He bounced around with a couple kennels, loving the trails and enjoying the different faces. The road is a sweet and fickle mistress, but Shrub (as he is affectionately known) found something meaningful in the Ben Franklin Mob. Elated and honored to be back on-sec'ing, he looks forward to giving so much to the kennel that took him in, gave him a name, and taught him how all the marks and checks really lead to people in the end. It is the people that make BFM and the infectious spirit they bring that makes the BFM great. This is a love train, so make sure you get ON-ON and ride with us!
Wheels on the Bus go Down Down Down
Wheels got tricked into showing up to her virgin circle by an old friend talking about a party and beer, and "help me set up". After realizing Hashers were her people, she refused to stop showing up and now you're stuck with her.
Wheels got tricked into showing up to her virgin circle by an old friend talking about a party and beer, and "help me set up". After realizing Hashers were her people, she refused to stop showing up and now you're stuck with her.
Poly Pocket
Poly Pocket likes to make stuff; is a jack of all trades and mistress of a few. She also probably likes all the music and movies you're too cool for.
Poly Pocket likes to make stuff; is a jack of all trades and mistress of a few. She also probably likes all the music and movies you're too cool for.
Down Down in the Brown Brown
Down Down on the Brown Brown (also known as DDBB or just Down Down) is a elusive and rare species, and should be kept away from Malört at ALL costs. He started hashing with BFM H3 in 2016, then was whisked away in a white double panel van and taken to RenoTahoe where he created the Elbows Deep Campout and was tyrant and Misman for a bit.
Down Down on the Brown Brown (also known as DDBB or just Down Down) is a elusive and rare species, and should be kept away from Malört at ALL costs. He started hashing with BFM H3 in 2016, then was whisked away in a white double panel van and taken to RenoTahoe where he created the Elbows Deep Campout and was tyrant and Misman for a bit.
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Roadside ASSistance
Cumming Soon. |
Hash Flash (Curator of Evidence)
Jug Stains
Cumming Soon.
Cumming Soon.
Hash Cash (The Purse Strings)
60K9
60k9 functions as the Federal Reserve Bank of the Hash, in that most people just pretend to know what he does with our money and go along on their merry way.
He prefers it this way.
60k9 functions as the Federal Reserve Bank of the Hash, in that most people just pretend to know what he does with our money and go along on their merry way.
He prefers it this way.
Hare Razor (The Real Hero Here)
Knights Of The Pound Table
He made himself cum to his first ever trail (what else is new). Proceeded to black-out on said trail with these random group of weirdos and has never looked back. His duty as On-Sec now requires him to stay somewhat coherent to tell a half-true version of what happens on trail. He's an introvert by nature, but give him a (s)Long Island and he will tell you anything and everything you may inquire.. or he may end up running off into the night with a handsome fella that so much as breathes in his direction. Acceptable hash behavior. He's not sorry.
All in all, this group of misfits will make you feel like you belong and will bring forth your inner free-spirit (barfff).
He made himself cum to his first ever trail (what else is new). Proceeded to black-out on said trail with these random group of weirdos and has never looked back. His duty as On-Sec now requires him to stay somewhat coherent to tell a half-true version of what happens on trail. He's an introvert by nature, but give him a (s)Long Island and he will tell you anything and everything you may inquire.. or he may end up running off into the night with a handsome fella that so much as breathes in his direction. Acceptable hash behavior. He's not sorry.
All in all, this group of misfits will make you feel like you belong and will bring forth your inner free-spirit (barfff).
Tech Meister (It's Probably My Fault)
Not In My Hair
Hashing since 2010. Hashed across the country and nearly died a few times. Super Nerd.
Hashing since 2010. Hashed across the country and nearly died a few times. Super Nerd.
Events Co-whore-dinator (This Orgy Isn't Gonna Start Itself)
Silence of the Goats
MAYORS CUP
MAYORS CUP
Master Beader & Hash Horn (Wait, That's a Job?)
Ass Ass in Nation
Just a girl dancing around obnoxiously while singing random things and smiling awkwardly at everyone. She enjoys fondling body parts (at "work") and producing awful sounds out of a horn when running through city streets on Thursday evenings!
Just a girl dancing around obnoxiously while singing random things and smiling awkwardly at everyone. She enjoys fondling body parts (at "work") and producing awful sounds out of a horn when running through city streets on Thursday evenings!
Haberdasher (Lack of Style Consultant)
Sphincter Grease
Sphincter Grease is born Kal-El on the alien planet Krypton. His parents, Jor-El and Lara become aware of Krypton's impending destruction and constructed a spacecraft to carry Kal-El to Earth. During Krypton's last moments, Jor-El places young Kal-El in the spacecraft and launches it. Jor-El and Lara die as the spacecraft barely escapes Krypton's fate. The explosion transforms planetary debris into kryptonite, a radioactive substance that is lethal to superpowered (as by Earth's nectar of beer) Kryptonians. The spacecraft lands in the rural United States, where it is found by a passing motorist. Floundering Assplant and the Waukesha H3 adopt Kal-El and name him Sphincter Grease. As Sphincter Grease grows up on Earth, he and his adoptive parents discover that he has superhuman powers. The Hash teaches Sphincter to use these powers responsibly to help others and fight crime. Now, joined by the Super Friends of the Ben Franklin Mob Hash House Harriers, this super powered team fights for 2% truth in accusations, shenanigans, and drunken tomfoolery for all. Evil doers beware!
Sphincter Grease is born Kal-El on the alien planet Krypton. His parents, Jor-El and Lara become aware of Krypton's impending destruction and constructed a spacecraft to carry Kal-El to Earth. During Krypton's last moments, Jor-El places young Kal-El in the spacecraft and launches it. Jor-El and Lara die as the spacecraft barely escapes Krypton's fate. The explosion transforms planetary debris into kryptonite, a radioactive substance that is lethal to superpowered (as by Earth's nectar of beer) Kryptonians. The spacecraft lands in the rural United States, where it is found by a passing motorist. Floundering Assplant and the Waukesha H3 adopt Kal-El and name him Sphincter Grease. As Sphincter Grease grows up on Earth, he and his adoptive parents discover that he has superhuman powers. The Hash teaches Sphincter to use these powers responsibly to help others and fight crime. Now, joined by the Super Friends of the Ben Franklin Mob Hash House Harriers, this super powered team fights for 2% truth in accusations, shenanigans, and drunken tomfoolery for all. Evil doers beware!