As another Hash Year draws to an end, I am proud to point out that the Mismanagement has maintained their level of excellence; Bars are still announced on Wednesdays, Trash is still posted on Thursdays, and at least one of the RA’s is still showing up by the end of circle. This week at Cavanaugh’s University City was no different.

Who Came
Brave C*ck, Cause for Blindness, Broken Rod, Chef Boy or Horse, Cleavage to Beaver, Fire Down Under, Gay Mathews Lamb, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Rimmer, Just Chris, Just Matt, Just Peter, Just Rod, Just Val, Quart, Rear Engineer, S & M Man, Scoobie Snatch, Shaved P*ssy, Shop and F*ck,69th Amendment, Soft Core Analist, Sly Fox, Son of Goat F*cker, Splash Back, Tits of Steel, Two Clump Chump, Uncle Bad Touch, and Up Her Ali.

Trail
Straws were drawn and Son of Goat Fucker pulled the short straw. Now here is a lesson for all of you new hashers out there; you are allowed to cringe when an over-achieving FRB pulls the short straw. Of course if you are a fellow over-achieving FRB, then this is a good thing. After a brief explanation of marks, the pack headed off into the night. We made it a whole block before getting stuck at a check. Gay Mathews ran half a block east and declared that street clear, while Chef Boy or Horse called on-on through a parking lot. After losing trail again, I demanded to see the marks, but the best Chef could serve was a pile of salt. Eventually after re-checking all of the paths we headed east down Gay Mathew’s street (that isn’t the name of the street, but that is a good name for a street). The trail carried on like this for some time, east, north, east, north. Then we crossed the Schuylkill, down to the path, and south towards our favorite bar, Bonners. They were so happy to see us. Trust me, despite their emotionless faces, they were happy to see us. Hold the Sausage pointed out how nice the bar is looking. I responded that it felt like a different bar, but after one sip of my stale beer, I knew we were in the right place. After a quick round or two, we hurried on back to the bar for…

Circle
Hare: Son of Goat F*cker
Virgins: Just Chris via Splash Back, Just Athena via Lesbian
For the sake of time we skipped to…

Accusations:
Rimmer for wearing Running Tuxedo Pants
Two Clump for being first in
Son of Goat F*cker for using less flour on trail than Two Clump
Just Matt for not wanting to drink
Just Chris and Splash Back for passing the bar
Goat F*cker for you guessed it, being thirsty
Sly Fox for getting engaged
Scooby Snatch for his members only jacket (to which several young hashers could be heard saying “What’s member’s only?”)
Chef Boy or Horse for confusing Salt for Flour (some chef he is)
Rear for something about a song
Broken Rod for being over dressed
Lesbian and Tube C*ck for being twins
John from Glenside of Ardmore for being thirsty
Brave C*ck and S&M Man for matching Kilts
Broken Rod for buying a new car and under when on rod drinks, Just Rod

Announcements
Philly H3 You missed it, and it was awesome
Come to the next hash with an extra $25 for the AGM, or pay more at the door. And while you are there you can vote for next year’s mismanagement like Two clump for haberdasher; which by the way was first penned by Chaucer in the Canterbury Tales. If that knowledge doesn’t empress you enough anyone who votes for me will get a free BFM on-on sticker.

Note: in keeping compliance with the Communications Act of 1934, I will be more than happy to advertise for any other candidates in future trash.

Note about the note: I will no longer be writing any more trashes.

Any way back to the hash; after circle was closed we discovered that Just Nancy came late to the bar, after failing to find trail herself, drove home. Several hashers saw her, as she was pulled over by a cop for going the wrong way down Walnut Street (I think a naming is in order there). The beers continued to flow and so did the barely legal co-eds, all in all a good night.

On On,
Two Clump Chump

The holiday weekend left me with a problem that most hashers only dream of, a surplus of beer. I offered to the GM a free beer check with the caveat that I was not laying straws. I loaded my car, drove to Loyd Hall parking lot, and then ran to the Green Room where I saw:

Who Came
Attila the Hung, Bonsai Bush, Bumble Beaver, Chef Boy or Horse, Cum on my Tits, Dr. Squeal Good, Hold the Rimmer, Holy F*ck, Just Al, Just Amy, Just Carla, Just Emily, Just Kim, Just Peter, Just Nancy, Just Nick, Pen is in my Ear, Rear Engineer, 69th Amendment, Son of Goat F*cker, Tits of Steel, Tube Cock, and Urine Luck.

Trail
Straws were drawn and Just Nick pulled the short one, I asked if he knew how to get to Loyd Hall, and he replied “not really”. Seriously people, anyway Pen is in my Ear offered to co-hare and off the two went. The trail went west then north then more west. The hares did their best to make the trail as easy as possible. After a back check at the big green bridge on Brown, the trail wound its way down to the Art Museum. Now a quick side bar, the one piece of advice I gave the duo was to be mindful of how they get to Loyd Hall as not to cross their own path on the return trip. Well they did, or they would have, but instead they pointed to the bar and said “On In”. I guess that is acceptable hash behavior.

Circle
Hare: Pen is in My Ear, Just Nick
Virgins: Just Amy via Just Nick, Just Amy and Just Al via Just Nancy, Just Kim and Just Emily via The Green Room
First in/ Last in: Son of Goat F*cker/ Cum on my Tits
Cums Lately: Attila the Hung, Bumble Beaver, Holy F*ck
Visitors: Cum on my Tits Pittsburg H3
Auto Hashers: Bonsai Bush, Bumble Beaver, Holy Fuck, 69th Amendment

Accusations:
Pen is in my Ear for having a chubby in circle and under when one hare drinks, Just Nick
Tube Cock for not giving his wife enough down down practice
Urine Luck for not getting in bed with Tits of Steel
Holy F*ck for not bringing Charley to a dog friendly bar and under when one auto, Bonsai Bush, Bumble Beaver, Holy Fuck, 69th Amendment
Son of a Goat F*cker for being thirsty
Rear Engineer for not pointing out that Goat F*cker was thirsty
Just Al for racist shirt
Just Nancy for accusing her own virgin rather than warning him
One Inch In for saying it was too cold for a blow job
Goat F*cker for his wife getting a new job
Short Distance Rimmer for sucking a 5yr old (beer) in the locker room
Dr. Squeal Good for alcohol abuse and under when one medical professional drinks, 69th, Sausage, and Bumble Beaver and under when one auto hasher drinks, Bonsai Bush and Holy F*ck
One Inch In for stopping booby play in the circle
Tits of Steel for complaining about her pants falling off on trail
Rimmer for slurring in circle (which turned into a social)

At this time Just Nick was called into the circle for a laming. We found out things like he is Greek, married, an accountant, and proposed to his wife at a shopping center. With that he was named Shop and F*ck and another hasher was born.

Announcements
Philly H3 January 13th it will be awesome
Saturday January 7th Free Beer Hash at the Harrisburg Hershy H3

After circle was closed there was more booby play as a few of the harriets compared nipples, little did they realize that they were on camera for all the bar to see. After some drinking a few hashers headed off to other bars while the rest went home to do whatever it is they do.

Overheard
2 Clump “There were boobies and I missed it?”
UKH “Don’t worry they were on camera, I’m downloading the video right now.”

On On,
Two Clump Chump

Usually around Thursday at 6pm I sit down to start writing the trash, and this week was no different. I made a big point of telling everyone in the announcement section that the full moon and the bfm were both going to be at the Green Room. I posted the trash, checked my e-mail and… wait… the BFM is at Callahan’s. I had just posted for all to read the wrong bar, but alas I realized no one actually reads my trash so I was safe. So I got in my car and drove to Callahan’s where I saw:

Who Came
Baaack Door, Chef Boy or Horse, Gag Reflex, Hold the Rimmer, Just Ben, Just Brad, Just Carla, Just Christian, Just Elli, Just Matt, Just Nick, Pen is in my Ear, Raider, Rear Engineer, 69th Amendment, Son of Goat F*cker, Tits of Steel, Three Balls, Tube Cock, Uncle Bad Touch, Where’s my Vagina, Wing Nuts

The Trail
I had some parking issues (actually I was still writing the trash) so I missed chalk talk and set out to find the pack. My keen hashing skills developed through years of hashing, and under the tutelage of greats like E = MC2, I was able to make headway on the trail. That is until I found two trails overlapping. After running in a circle jerk for several minutes I heard the cry’s of the pack and caught up. The trail continued in a “zipper” formation until we ended up back at the bar, only to find that it was dart night and college night. As much as we love frightening young co-eds with our devious ways, we decided the bar was too full and we relocated the pack to Bonners for:

Circle
Hare: Three Balls
Virgins: Just Elli via 69th Amendment, Just Ben via Just Brad
Visitors: None
First in/ Last in: Just Brad / Two Clump Chump
Auto Hashers: Tube Cock, 69th Amendment, Just Elli, Just Ben, Hold The Sausage and under when one GM, Tits of Steel and 3 Balls

Accusations
Just Christian for eating wings in circle
Pen is in my Ear for a false on Gag Reflex
Tits of Steel for dressing like a Smurf and under when one GM, Hold the Sausage
Just Christian for running with a bottle that did not have alcohol in it
2 Clump for telling everyone to go to the wrong bar
Uncle Bad Touch for having a secret happy hour

Announcements
Let’s face it they are all out of date

At this point the pack spread out to eat their food and play on the new 15 foot shuffle board table. There were arguments over how much wax to use, and what the wax was made out of, there was even the occasional game played. Beers were drank, hashers were insulted, or propositioned, and the night slowly faded into the past.

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

Philadelphia has a proud tradition of historical significance, such as; the oldest surviving roadway bridge, or the oldest street, and the oldest Thanksgiving day parade. However, we are also known for newer things such as being the only city to pop an inflatable pussy (as a side note this was news worthy everywhere in the state except Philadelphia). That being said it was once again time to throw all good parenting sense out the window, grab the little ones and converge on the only parade route bar open on Thanksgiving morning, Mace’s Crossing.

Who Came
Cleavage to Beaver, Just Matt, Lick Stick, One Inch In, Two Clump Chump, and Uncle Bad Touch,

The Trail
I volunteered to hare this hangover trail, so plain and simple was the name of the game. Trail wound west and south away from the inflatable Stan dolls, until we reached a BN. Another side note although the “Hair of the dog” is just a myth, I didn’t hear any hashers complaining, except for Uncle Bad Touch who threatened to poop on trail, but more on that later. As we ran back to the bar the pack was amazed at how I was able to not only lay a back check four, but also lay part of the on in after the beer check, all before the pack showed up. One Inch In tried to explain that it wasn’t that hard, but I let the legend ride. Back at the bar we had:

Circle
Hare: Two Clump Chump
Virgins: None
Visitors: Lick Stick
First in/ Last in: Bad Touch/ One Inch In
Auto Hashers: Lick Stick

Accusations
Lick Stick- for not bringing her daughter because she knew Bad Touch was coming (in hindsight this sounds like acceptable hash behavior)
Uncle Bad Touch- for bringing a cart full of toys for all the little kids
Cleavage to Beaver- for missing the pack so running her own trail
One Inch In – for “meowing” the whole song instead of just the curse words
Just Matt, 2 Clump – for matching
And there were many more but I don’t remember the rest.
Announcements
Full Moon: December 2nd at the Green room, so you can sleepover from the BFM
Philly AGM: Too late to sign up (I think)
After this we went upstairs to find Tits of Steel, and Under the Gaydar complaining of showing up at 10:25 and not finding us or the second half of trail. We sat and watched the drunk people move about, while Bad Touch tried to pick up MILF’s and Just Matt explained how a Quasar works. After a few hours, beers, and plates of bacon, the packed moved on to their respective families.

Overheard
2 Clump “That bathroom is so dirty, I don’t even like touching myself.”

Cleavage to Beaver “It’s all over my face, my eyes are burning.”

MILF “My friend stuck her tongue in that statue’s ass.”
Under the Gaydar “I need to take statue lessons.”

Uncle Bad Touch “There are not nearly enough cougars up here.”

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

I find that the closer the bar is the later I end up arriving. I would like to say there is a good reason, but there is none. Anyway after circling the block several times I settled on a spot and walked to The Institute. As I approached, I could see through the window that Three Balls was pointing and laughing. Upon entering the bar I was informed of the GM’s decree that the last person to the hash would be the hare. Although this is a dangerous routine, I was willing to do my part. I grabbed the bag of flour and left to the sighs of:

Who Came
Can You Hear Me Now, Cause for Blindness, Chef Boy or Horse, Flounder, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Sausage, Just Chris, Just, Erin, Just Matt, Just Stacy, Pen is in my Ear, Rear Engineer, Short Distance Rimmer, Semen on the Poop Deck, Scooby Snatch, Three Balls, Tits of Steel, Two Clump Chump, Uncle Bad Touch, Urine Luck, Where’s My Vagina

The Trail
Although I am notoriously an over achiever and an FRB, I am a horrible judge of distance. Somehow I got a reputation for laying long trails, so I figured I might as well live up to this falsehood. Leaving the bar the trail headed west crossed Broad Street to find a back check 6. This brought the trail back east and south. We ran past some police activity and continued south towards the game board playground that is the Municipal Building. After playing Frogger across Market Street we headed through City Hall and South on the Broad St Median. Down the steps to the PATCO station only to run two blocks and back up to the street. We headed East to Washington Square only to run a circle jerk three quarters the way around the square. Back North and to the ON IN. I returned to the bar to see Urine Luck trying to fit in with the locals. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he asked why I was so far ahead of everyone. I looked down at my flour covered shirt and then up at him and replied “I’m the Hare”. He tried to explain something about beer checks and everyone walking back together, but I had stopped listening. As a note to all of the newbies out there, there was a time when trails were long and beer check were the exception, learn to deal. Any who, much to my surprise and elation, the hashers started rolling in to the bar without their pitch forks and torches. After a few debates as to how many miles the trail was we began:

Circle
Hare: Two Clump Chump
Virgins: Just Chris and Just Erin via Just Stacy
Visitors: Crotch Thumper from Lexington Horses A**
First in/ Last in: Three Balls/ Just Matt
Auto Hashers: Urine Luck, Pen is in My Ear
Cums Lately: Semen on the Poop Deck, Fire Down Under, Just Stacy
Accusations
Urine Luck- for asking the hare why he was the first one in
Uncle Bad Touch- for running too much in one weekend
Three Balls- Racist Shirt and under when on GM drinks, Tits of Steel, Crotch Thumper, Hold the Sausage
Uncle Bad Touch- Camel Back in Circle
Just Stacy and Fire Down Under- Racist Behavior

Announcements
Full Moon: Beer Mile October 14th
Philly 1750: You missed it
BFM 400th: October 20th
With that we hoisted Scooby Snatch for his Side-Side. Afterwords he blew out his candles and we ate all of his cake.

Overheard
2 Clump “What do I get in return?”
Tits of Steel “Nothing you would be interested in.”
2 Clump “You would be surprised what I’m interested in.”

On on,
Two Clump Chump

Sugar Moms is known for many things such as; clowns, that scary Predator head, and cheap pierogi. Fun fact of the day, pierogi is the plural form, but don’t tell Mrs. T. I wondered into the bar, excited to see the new paint job in the lobby, but sad to see the clown with the face cut out gone. As I drank my flat Guinness and eat my “Ass Basket” here is who I did see.
Who Came
Bee Orgy, Can You Hear Me Now, Cause for Blindness, Chef Boy or Horse, Flounder, Gay Mathews Lamb, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Sausage, Just Keith, Just Rick, Mediocre and Stupid, Not in my Hair, One Inch In, Pen is in my Ear, Rear Engineer, Short Distance Rimmer, Sleeps Around the Cock, Scooby Snatch, Sly Fox, Soft Core Analyst, Son of Goat F*cker, Tits of Steel, Two Clump Chump, Uncle Bad Touch, Where’s My Vagina, Working Girl

The Trail
I auto hashed so I cannot speak to the quality of the trail, but with the role of Hare randomly assigned as the GM’s beau yet again I was concerned to say the least. Much to my jealousy the pack wondered back in with smiles on their faces (mostly because of the PBR) and exclamations of “Sh*tty Trail” on their lips (I was going to use the word ejaculations, but that usage is dated and some of you more immature half minds might get the wrong idea).
Circle
Hare: Short Distance Rimmer
Virgins: Just Keith via Just Rick
Visitors: None
First in/ Last in: Gay Mathews Lamb/ Cause for Blindness
Auto Hashers: Two Clump Chump, He’s a Lesbian
Cums Lately: Not in my Hair, Bee Orgy, Mediocre and Stupid, Sly Fox, Just Rick, Cause for Flounder, Flipper Over
Accusations
Flipper Over- for being embarrassed by her name
Rimmer- for leaving his pants at Cause’s house
Just Rick- for Hash crash
Flounder- for letting Cause out by herself for a Hash weekend
Cause- for hashing a whole weekend with no extra clothes
Not in my Hair- for tech on trail and under when one person with 5 fingers drinks
Uncle Bad touch and Bee Orgy
Medi Stu- for contracting elbow Herpes
Scooby, Flipper over and Bad Touch- for food in circle + the 5 fingers clan
Medi Stu- for eating trash
Rear- for a false against someone
Gay Mathews- for wearing boat shoes
Working Girl and Sleeps around the cock- for happening and then staying in Vegas
Chef Boy or Horse- Racist shirt
Where’s my Vagina- for being thirsty (and refusing to show her tits)
Announcements
Working Girl Hash September 22nd
Full Moon: You missed it, it was awesome
Philly 1750: Sign up
BFM 400th: October 20th
Beer Mile: ask someone other than me

With that we hoisted Bad Touch for his Side-Side, leave it to Rimmer to figure out how to tie five fingers together.

Overheard
Rimmer “I made cheese today”
MediStu “That’s the most action I’ve gotten in a week.”
2 Clump “A week?”
MediStu “Give or take a few hours.”

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

One of my favorite new books is Freakonomics. The book takes a look at seemingly unrelated things, and finds strange comparisons. You may be wondering “where is he going with this”, or “I didn’t know Two Clump could read”. It was often postulated that Hashers would stop at nothing for beer, after all we have survived the law, flash mobs, closed bars, and hipsters. However, last week this theory was seriously challenged. A BFM pub crawl in Manayunk, which has the highest bar (and church) count per block in the city, and yet a few raindrops scared away all but the truest, or most lush of the hash.

Who Came
Baaaaack Door, Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Gay Mathews Lamb, Hold the Sausage, Nappy Headed Homo, One Inch In, Post Anal Drip, Semen on the Poop Deck, Short Distance Rimmer, Sleeps Around the Cock, Swollen Cockpit, Tits of Steel, Two Clump Chump

The Trail
While we waited for the… anyone to show up, the GM seemed nervous. It turns out our beer check assistant, One Inch In, had not yet arrived. What did arrive was the rain, and each new hasher walked through the door, more wet than the previous (insert “wet” joke here (insert “insert” joke here)). Finally after 15 minutes of waiting for the rain to subside we decided to scrap the “crawl” portion of the night and headed upstairs for:

Circle
Hares: Hold the Sausage
Virgins: None
Visitors: Nappy Headed Homo

Accusations
I did not take any notes because (“said in a whiny voice”) I assumed one of the other three on-secs would show up for a change, so I will summarize. There were many accusations and most of them were true, except for the claim that our visitor, Nappy Headed Homo looked like Softcore Analyst. Perhaps we were confused by the rain because he looked like he showered before circle. One funny exchange happened when someone accused Just Meghan for something. Just Meghan came to her own defense, pointing out that she had been named and in the laws of hash, an accusation using a nerd name is deemed false. After much whispering between the GM and myself it was determined that Just Meghan was named Baaaaad Sheep and I reattempted the accusation. Under the 69th Amendment (no she wasn’t really there) the second false accusation does apply and she accepted her down down, but promptly accused me of still getting her name wrong. Not to take the fall solo, I accused the GM of not remembering naming Baaaaak Door at BFM 387. After that round I re-accused Baaaaack Door of coming so infrequently that the pack remembered Nappy Headed Homo better than her. They high jinks continued until the beer and the sky ran dry. Little by little the pack dispersed, to swim home from Manayunk.

Announcements
Philly Tailgate will go on without Cousin It on Aug 27th RSVP now or you might miss out.

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

I entered the Green Room and began gloating about my amazing parking spot across the street. As several hashers pretended to be impressed or even care, we noticed that Softcore Analyst pulled up on his bike. Approximately ten minutes later One Inch In pulled up on his bike and the wager was set, could One Inch lock up his bike ten minutes faster than Softcore? Some might say that they both lost, but more on that later.

Who Came
Dr. Squeal Good, Gay Mathews Lamb, Giz Hell, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Sausage, It’s a Penis, Just Aziz, Just Ben, Just Courtney, Just Jeff, Just Matt, Just Ricky, Just Shelly, Just Victor, One Inch In, Midget F*cker, Pink and Puffy Rides the Huffy, Piss Cycle, Rear Engineer, Short Distance Rimmer, Semen on the Poop Deck, Soft Core Analyst, Son of Goat F*cker, Sternum and Rectum, The Rash, Tits of Steel, Two Clump Chump, Uncle Bad Touch, and Where’s My Vagina

The Trail
After a quick introduction to our virgins and visitors, the pack was off. We searched in several directions until finally we headed east and then south. After much confusion at Logan’s Circle, we continued south until we came across our favorite mark, Beer Near, at our favorite bar, Bonners. I am convinced that they were as happy to see us as we were to see…their beer. After much imbibing the pack headed back, well not directly, we had to head south; then east on Walnut to the Schuylkill Path, through the Thursday movie. We eventually made it back to the bar for:

Circle
Hares: One Inch In/ Softcore Analyst
Virgins: Just Shelly via Giz Hell, Just Austin via Pink and Puffy Rides the Huffy
Visitors: Midget Fucker from Taipei
First in/ Last in: Just Aziz/ Sternum and Rectum
Cums Lately: The Rash, Pink and Puffy Rides the Huffy
Auto Hashers: The Rash

Accusations
Uncle Bad Touch for stretching
Just Courtney/ Just Shelley for squeaking on trail
Just Aziz for racing on trail
One Inch In for making Rear accuse his wife
Just Ben for trying to hit on Where’s My Vagina by wearing an orange shirt
The Hares for making a pedophile check
Midget F*cker for using his nerd name in circle
Bad Touch for violating his parole and hanging out at a playground
Just Victor Holding out on beer
Semen on the Poopdeck Alcohol abuse
Just Rick food in circle
Giz Hell Stealing a beer but not drinking it
Pink and Puffy for sneaking Albanians into the US
One Inch for taking the On In in the wrong direction
Softcore for taking ten minutes to lock up his bike

Announcements
Philly Tailgate will go on without Cousin It on Aug 27th
After circle there was more drinking and merry making. After some prodding I found out that one of our own hashers is a famous child star. The night progressed as friendships were forged while others were broken, but that is a story for another day. The rain finally stopped, and the hashers started heading home.
Over Heard at the Hash
Hold the Sausage: “Who’s that?”
One Inch: “The girl with the voice.”
Piss Cycle: “Normally I put it in between my boobs.”

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

There are very few things that can bring a group of half-minds together to run and drink, a big fruit is one of them. For those of you who are new (insert “Scooby” joke here (insert “insert” joke here)), Fruit of the Clue is a notorious BFM hasher who was famous for his eccentric shorts. When we heard he was coming back to visit it was only natural that we would roll out the red carpet, or used bar rag at least. And what better place to have this wonderful event than Cherry Street Tavern

Who Came
Bonsai Bush, Broken Rod, Bumble Beaver, Can You Hear Me Now?, Cause for Blindness, Ceaser Tits, Cleavage To Beaver, Deep Discunt, Fire Down Under, Mother Down Under, Flounder, Fruit of the Clue, Grab My Handlebars, Hold the Sausage, Itemized Seduction, Jug Stains, Just Bonnie, Just Dave, Just John, Just Mary, Just Meg, Just Stacy, Just Summer, Mr. Snuffleupamuff, One Inch In, Pen is in My Ear, Rear Engineer, Scooby Snatch, She Feltafish, Short Distance Rimmer, Skin Fiddle, Sleeps Around the Cock, Sly Fox, The Rash, The S&M Man, Tits of Steel, Tube Cock, Two Clump Chump, Uncle Bad Touch, and Up Her Ali

The Trail
After a quick scolding to all who did not wear fruity shorts, the pack gathered outside to review the marks, apparently the hares should have sat in on this because the trail was difficult at best, but more on that later. I ran back to my car to get my Id and upon returning found that the pack had not found trail yet. We ran in every direction, except for the correct one, for ten minutes. Finally someone double checked a small alley and the pack was off. Now my notes are as sparse as the marks but the pack eventually made it back to the bar for what was sure to be a lively…

Circle
Hares: Fruit of the Clue, Sly Fox
Virgins: Just Sue via Just Stacy, Just John via Just Dave, Just Ellen via Fire Down Under
Visitors: None
First in/ Last in: Flounder/ Rear
Cums Lately: Fruit, Sly, She Feltafish, Up Her Ali, Just Randy, Jug Stain, Bumble Beaver, Deep Discunt, Broken Rod
Auto Hashers: She Feltafish, Pen is in my Ear, Grab my Handlebars, The Rash, Skin Fiddle, Just Meg

Accusations
Deep Discunt for hiding from being first in
One Inch In-S&M, Rear Engineer-Softcore, and Sleeps Around the Cock-Bonsai Bush- Bumble Beaver for matching
Cause for eating the trail
S&M Man for dressing like Captain America
Grab My Handlebars for having a banana on her shorts, and Bonsai, Flounder under when one person with fruit on their shorts
The Rash for getting a Royal Haircut
Just Dave for compression socks
Just Bonnie for eating in circle
Tube Cock for false advertisement
Scooby Snatch for forgetting his name
Rear and Scooby for getting into Fruit of the Clue’s shorts
Just Summer for too much junk in the trunk

Announcements
Let’s face it this is so old the only announcement that is still valid is the Philly Tailgate

Over Heard at the Hash
Rimmer “I have to take my pants off, excuse me.”

On, on,
Two Clump Chump

I stray cat showed up at my door one day and I fed him, and of course he returned. This continued for some time and then I realized that after awhile some things just become yours. This doesn’t; however, explain how I adopted the anal flashlight hash. It could be my extensive knowledge of the trails in Manayunk, or it could be my skill as a night time trail runner, or perhaps my amazing trail laying skills, no it is most likely the fact that I am the only half-mind that is willing to do it. Who else was dumb enough to show up at T Hogans:

Who Came
Can You Hear Me Now?, Cause for Blindness, Dumpster, Flounder, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Sausage, Just Andrea, Just Bonnie, Just Eleanor, Just Erica, Just Jill, Just Lauren, Just Stacy, Just Suz, Midnight Tranny to GA, Mr. Snuffleupamuff, One Inch In, Post Anal Drip, Rear Engineer, Scooby Snatch, She Feltafish, Short Distance Rimmer, Swollen Cockpit, Tickle My Elmo, Tube Cock, Two Clump Chump, and Where’s My Vagina?


The Trail
Only an obnoxious on-sec would brag about a trail that they laid, I won’t be doing that because anyone who was there knows how great it was. But in case you weren’t, I will recap. After a brief chalk talk, the trail went down the steps to the train station, only to go back up again. Up the hill for a few blocks to the hundred steps with a false that fooled no one. Through the trails we meandered until we hit a very special mark; an Easter Basket. What does this mean? The hare dropped his Passover Easter Eggs, and Cause was more than eager to pick them up. On we continued until we came across a golf course, surprisingly there were no underage kids drinking or fornicating, although we did lose a few hashers… After exiting the course the pack arrived at the beer check which was at none other than, you guessed it, my backyard. We drank a few beers and waited for the remaining hashers to roll in. As the fire pit died down, the pack departed to the bar for:

Circle
Hares: Two Clump Chump
Virgins: Just Erica and Just Andrea via One Inch In, Just Stacy and Just Suz via The internet, Just Jill via Swollen Cockpit
Visitors: None
First in/ Last in: Flounder/ Cause
Cums Lately: She Feltafish, Dumpster, J Eleanor
Auto Hashers: Lesbian, Post Anal Drip, Just Lauren
Accusations
One Inch In for his virgin wearing a racing shirt
Where’s My Vagina and Softcore for matching
Cause for false boobies
She Feltafish for not eating any fish during Passover
2 Clump for leaving an Easter Egg Check
Tube Cock for doing something inappropriate (I didn’t think there was such a thing at the hash) and Swollen Cockpit under when one cock drinks
Midnight Tranny for a racist shirt (what are you new)

Announcements :
Let’s face it this is so old the only announcement that is still valid is the Philly Tailgate

Over Heard at the Hash
Cause “I like Vagina’s Socks.”
Rear “I like Vagina.”

Just Bonnie “Ewe, you got some on me…”

On, on,
Two Clump Chump