14 September 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: So you’re probably expecting the usual witty introduction to the trash to appear here. Well, sorry kids. It’s not going to happen this week. It’s almost 1 am on Thursday morning and I’ve been procrastinating all evening with the help of the America’s Next Top Model premiere and the Sci-Fi Channel’s presentation of Halloween II. There’s nothing like a really bad 1980s horror movie to distract me. Haven’t you noticed how the villains always cock their heads to the side thoughtfully before springing to attack the main character? I have. And by the way, thanks for the encouraging (read: harassing) emails this afternoon regarding the lack of trash. Those really motivated me. So here it is. It’s almost late and undoubtedly shitty. Now you can stop your whining and find something better to do. Like watch tv. Or increase your earning potential. Oh hell, here’s a bonus fun link. Now read it and like it.
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7 September 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: ok…ok…blah, blah, blah…
i know…it’s late…well, quit whining like a little girl! at least you’re getting it! i was going to tell you all that there was still no trash because my computer blah, blah, blah…but then i had one of my blond epiphanies…(it’s a blond one because a normal person would have come up with it a lot sooner than I…)…I CAN JUST WRITE IT IN AN EMAIL!!! So here’s the skinny on what went down at the hash last week….i forget the date…and i forget the number…sue me!
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31 August 2006 Philadelphia: I actually thought that nothing could be wilder than Last Year’s Skin Fiddle’s Pre-Labor Day Hash Bash Extravaganza, which featured a surprise appearance by the entire male student body from PCOM as well as a whole load of hashers. From my own personal perspective, I thought it couldn’t get any better. However, my notes from This Year’s Skin Fiddle’s Annual Pre-Labor Day Hash Bash Extravaganza read like the New Orleans police report from Mardi Gras, only with significantly less public urination and slightly more nudity.
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24 August 2006 Philadelphia (sort of): So, I’ve been away for a few weeks in a decidedly foreign country and also New Jersey, and imagine my surprise at the whole crop of rumors that have sprung up in my absence. SO, I’d like to dispel, once and for all, the following:
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18 August 2006 – PHILADELPHIA:
The 18th of August, a Thursday,
At Kildare’s the BFM did play.
Trash in a limerick
Is this week’s new gimmick.
Don’t like it? Then f*ck you I say.
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3 August 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: Those of you who have been hashing with the BFM for a while probably recall our last hash at Kelliann’s with fond memories. In this case fond means too freaked out to leave your dry bag in the bar because the place is populated with roaches the size of rodents. So basically the only appeal of this hash was the fact that I could walk to it. But seriously, roaches are scary. There’s only one critter I fear more than the roach and that’s the monkey. Yes, I’m creeped out by Curious George’s relatives. They may look all cute and cuddly, but I’m certain they’re plotting to take over the world. Imagine the nightmares I had after the movie Congo, and I don’t mean just because it was a terrible film. And while you’re using your imagination and I’m being completely honest, I should also confess that I usually write the trash in my underwear. Moving along….
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27 July 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: So I was going to put on my bitchpants and start this trash out with a rant about my recent flight to Montreal, but when I sobered up this morning, I realized I had TEN (count them! I know you won’t!) pages of barely-legible, beer-scented notes from the hash. So y’all are going to have to ask me in person just how I feel about the woman in the seat next to me who felt that there was a perfectly acceptable place to change her kid’s diaper, as opposed to the bathroom fifteen feet away. Wench. I hope this is her next flight.
Anyway.
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20 July 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: Wow, I never thought I would say it, but right now I really wish I lived in Central Pennsylvania. I always considered anything west of King of Prussia to be an unfortunate extension of Ohio that should be avoided at all costs, but the Central Penn Blood Bank has changed my mind. Yes, it’s time for some explanation. Harrisburg is offering the greatest incentive ever to donate blood. Who needs a cookie and juice when you can have alcohol? Roadtrip anyone? But I digress. Here’s the trash. Read more »
13 July 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: It’s a fact that all hashers worth their weight in beer love to (and are experts at) wasting time. This has contributed to the popularity of the Overheard at the Hash section of the trash and the rabid following of the Overheard in New York website. Oh, but it gets better. Now, procrastinating hashers everywhere can pursue concurrently their loves of urban orienteering and really stupid comments with cyber crack. This may explain why this week’s trash is almost late. Hmmm. And while we’re on the subject of wasting time, let me segue into getting wasted. Here’s a helpful tip for the harriettes (and for harriers that find themselves sporting skirts). Now back to your regularly scheduled trash. Read more »
7 July 2006 – SOUTH PHILADELPHIA: The Mob dove into The Dive Thursday night. All sorts of odd characters, deviants, and chronic miscreants were there, as were the locals. And a bartender from the nether regions.
Who was there? Tickle My Elmo, Strap On, Sly Fox, Skin Fiddle, She Man, Self Service, Scooby Snatch, Meat Tenderized, Little Red Riding Wood, Little Fucking Winkie, Just Marisa (who Just Jen and Just Conan made come kicking and screaming), Just Leah (who Elmo and Scooby made come from Iowa), Just Jody (who AKA made come from Huntingdon Valley, PA), Just Jen, Just Jeff (who Elmo and Scooby made come from Phoenix), Just Conan (pronounced “Connin”), Just Brian (who Elmo and Scooby made come from Organ), E=My Cock Squared, Dances With Bums’ Urine, Cunting Season, Can You Hear Me Now?, and AKA (who’s kind of from Reading, PA, but shows up to the BFM because he lives closer to here than there).
Not present were any of the on-secs, also known as the triple sec: The Rash, Oral Oh!, and Hold the Sausage, which is why none of them are writing this garbagiola. Th’bastids.
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