When I first heard we were heading to the ‘Yunk, I was worried that we were in for a quiet night. (Leave the city? For the ‘burbs? Naaaaw….) I shoulda known better. Not only did we take over the bar, but we did it with your virgins, too.

Who showed up:
Sextra Credit, Mediocre and Stupid, Mr. Snuffleupamuff, Just Andy, Nappy Headed Ho, Wonder Blow, One Inch In, Just Greg, Swollen Cockpit, Just Bob, Just Jim, Just Mick, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, Insectuous, Just Maggie, Just Rebecca, Two Clump, Hold the Sausage, Short Distance Rimmer, Snap Off, We’re Not Voting, Beefcake Stroke It Off, AssVentura, Rear Engineer, The Rash, Deep Discunt, Just Alex, Raidr, Softcore Analyst, Sly Fox, Mother Bates, Post Anal Drip, Three Balls, Working Girl

Straws were handed out, which confused Mediocre and Stupid. She seemed to think it was her regular Friday night gig, so she tugged on the little one and feigned shock when it came in her hand. If you remember–and I try not to–the last time Medi-Stu laid trail, bad things happened. But everyone gets a second chance in the BFM; only this time she was forced to hare with East Manaborough native Two Clump. With Medi’s chance at redemption close by, they were out the door.

After a chalk talk that was commandeered by Rear Engineer (doesn’t he know GMs are supposed to be seen, not heard?), the pack was on its way. It didn’t take long for us to get pulled into the wilds of the woods, where those flash lights and head lamps came in handy. There were hills, prickers and more white powder than Lindsay Lohan would know what to do with. The pack persevered and eventually pulled back to suburbia mostly unscathed. We rejoiced over the return of asphalt and street lamps, but were perplexed by the sudden lack of flour. We ran around like a confused group of drunks until marks started appearing where there were none. Turns out the hares got a little too excited tossing flour around in the beginning and couldn’t make it to the end. (I hear they have a pill for that now…) An emergency sack of flour later and word got out that we were on hare. Suddenly, the chase was on and Two Clump was almost dethroned. Almost. The Rash and the rest of the front of the pack gave up the pursuit to play with a neighborhood dog instead. (He was awful cute…) Post puppy love, the group followed Two Clump to his house where we were served a 12 pack of warm Coors Light. The hares, ashamed of their lack of beer, snuck out with what little pride and flour they had left. A few minutes later On On was called (by a virgin!), and we were on our way. We sprinted directly back to the bar, and only lost a few souls to the random furniture hurdle that stood between us and beer.

Never one to deny the people, Sausage appeased the masses and fed us pitchers and started circle, where it was decided that Medi was forgiven.

Hares: Mediocre and Stupid, Two Clump Chump

First/Last: Three Balls and Mother Bates

Virgins: Just Steve (Swollen Cockpit), Just Andy (Goes Down Often), Just Maggie (Insectuous), Just Rebecca (Insectuous), Just Bob (all of the Philly hash apparently), Just Mick (Sly Fox), Just Jim (Just Bob), Just Tricia (Post Anal Drip)

Cums Latelies: Just Alex

Autohashers: Raidr, Just Steve, Post Anal Drip, Just Tricia, Mother Bates (How Mother Bates was an auto hasher AND last in, I don’t know.)

Accusations:
Just Jim for running with an iPod
Just Greg for wearing suspenders when he makes sexy time
Me for getting attacked by prickers
Sextra for mutiny
Softcore for confusing headlamps with moving cars
One Inch for diving into some bush (acceptable hash behavior?)
Post Anal Drip for not teaching her virgin to drink, and Softcore Analyst for when one Anal
Rear Engineer for never having learned a single hash song
Me for breaking Two Clump’s stairs, and The Rash and Muff for when one on sec

Announcements:
1.Green Dress is coming up–like you didn’t already know that. If you have been living under a rock or in exile with Stan, the fun begins on Thursday, March 12, continues through the weekend with Full Moon on Friday and Philly hash on Saturday. The fun only quits when you do.
2. Full Moon pre-lube is Alice and Wonderland themed and hared by Sextra and Cleavage to Beaver. BYOShrooms. Be on time or you will get left.
3. I get my couch back on Thursdays and Medi-Stu can now bring boys back to her own place, which is in Manayunk.

Overheard:
“There was no penetration.” Wonder Blow
“And then he licked my face.” Deep Discunt
“Where can I get dong bags?” Sextra Credit
“You wouldn’t want your obituary to say you died on Ikea furniture.” AssVentura
“Is this where I bend over?” Just Andy

On On,
Goes Down Often