BFMH3 Unofficial Official Hymnal
Created by: Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Ben Franklin Mob
Hash House Harriers
The
Unofficial Official
Hymnal
Created by: Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Get It Up Get It In (Male Version)
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Little Brown Mouse
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Ben Franklin Mob
Hash House Harriers
The
Unofficial Official
Hymnal
Created by: Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Get It Up Get It In (Male Version)
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Little Brown Mouse
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Ben Franklin Mob
Hash House Harriers
The
Unofficial Official
Hymnal
Created by: Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Get It Up Get It In (Male Version)
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Little Brown Mouse
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Ben Franklin Mob
Hash House Harriers
The
Unofficial Official
Hymnal
Created by: Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood
IFS: March 24th, 2008
Updated by: Tits of Steel & Manual Fiesta
April 2014
Songs for the Hares
The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do
(The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.) – Not used
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on to show us the way
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Shitty Trail (Mickey Mouse song tune)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail - it sucks!
Shitty trail - totally sucks/fucked!
The motherfucker laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail
S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
You're A Shitty Hare (Livin' On a Prayer tune)
(We hardly ever sing this first part:
You should’ve used more flour and chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck)
You've gotta hold on to the drink that you've got
It doesn't make a difference if it's beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot on trail
You're drinkin' a lot!
WHOA!!! We're halfway there **
WHOA-OHHH You're a SHITTY HARE
Take some flour and use it on trail!
Whhhooooaaaa you're a shitty hare
You're a Shittttty Haaaarrrreeee
(** alternate: Whoa, there was no beer out there…)
Hey Hares (Hey Jude tune)
Hey hares
Your trail was shit
You got the pack lost
Now go and find them
Remember to use flour and chalk
And your next trail will be much
Better better better better better better yeah!
Down down down down down down down.
Down down down down.
Hey hares!
They are shitty hares
Virgins Songs
We’ve Got Virgins
We’ve got virgins, we’ve got virgins
At our hash, at our hash,
Gonna get‘em drunked up, gonna get‘em fucked up
Down the hatch, Up the ass
Bye Bye Virgins
Put your back(s) against the wall
Here it comes, balls and all
Bye bye virgins
The Ball of Inverness/Balls to Your Partner
Four and twenty virgins came out to run the hash
and when the night was over there were four and twenty less
singing balls to your partner, asses to the wall
If you can't get fucked at the BFM
You can't get fucked at all!
You Lost Your Hash Cherry
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us, (to us!)
You Lost Your Hash Cherry, It Wasn't So Scary
You Lost Your Hash Cherry to Us
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us, (with us!)
You Broke Your Hash Hymen, Took it All Without Whinin'
You Broke Your Hash Hymen with Us
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us (with us!)
You Became a Hasher with Us, You Miserable Bastard
You Became a Hasher with Us
Drink it down down down…
Cums Latelies Songs
Where Were You Last Week?
Where, oh where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Down Down drink it all down,
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer,
You fat lazy bastards, you weren’t even here.
So, we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer.
Naming Song / Philly H3 Traditional Hash Song
Here’s to ______
Here’s to ________, s/he’s true blue,
S/He’s a hasher through and through,
S/He’s a pisspot so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way
Alphabetical A-Z Songs
A Soldier I Will Be / Asshole
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be.
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Autohashers Song (Flinstones tune)
Hashers, auto-hashers,
They're the wankers who refuse to run
When the pack is on-on,
They wait until the trail is done.
Sometimes, they drive past us in a car.
Maybe, they just never left the bar.
Down-down down down down- down…
Bananas
Form banana, form form banana
Peel banana, peel peel banana
Go bananas, go go bananas
Be My Guest (Visitors song) Sung to Be My Guest, from Beauty & the Beast
Be my guest, Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest
Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance
Be my guest!
I'm the best!
Be my guest!
Beeranza(to Bonanza)
Drink it down da da down, da da down, down, down, etc…
Bullshit
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me, to me!
Bullshit, bullshit, sounds like bullshit to me!
By The Light of the Flickering Match
By light of the flickering match
I saw her snatch
In the watermelon patch
By the light of the flickering match
I saw it gleam
I heard her scream
You are burning my snatch
With your fucking match!
Cha Cha Cha/I Whip My Cock Out (Also see "Safe Word")
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
I whipped my cock out
I whipped my cock out
And I put it in her mouth.
Cha cha cha
Cha Cha Cha/Safe Word
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth
Cha Cha Cha
Daisy, Daisy
Hasher's words:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, I want to sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
I've got a heck of a hard on,
From beating my meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Harriette's rebuttal words:
Baby, baby, this is your answer true,
Baby, baby, I would never sleep with you,
I really must beg your pardon,
But that's not much of a hard on,
From beating your meat against the seat
On a bicycle built for two.
Dead Whore Song (Sung to: My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew very well they were dead,
The skin was all gone from their body,
The hair was all gone from their head,
And after the fucking was over,
To atone for my terrible sin,
I anchored my lips to their asshole,
And sucked out the wad I shot in.
Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Bangin’ like a dynamo
Do Your Balls/Tits Hang Low?
Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
Can you pluck a merry tune When your balls hang low.
Does a Hasher?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they’re all having fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come
Drink it down down down…
Donnie the Retard
Donnie the Retard
Has a big fat mellon head
He was four foot three and he said to me
Nmmnmmmnmn
Don't Say No
Oh my darling, don't say no,
Over the sofa you gotta go.
Up with your dress,
And down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.
Dose of Clap
(start song with clapping for extra fun)
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is drip, drip, drip…
Dough Ray Me
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long, long way to the beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, La, La, La, La, La, beer
Tea, no thanks, I’ll drinking beer
And that brings us back to… beer beer beer...
Down Down Song
This is your down down song
It isn’t very long.
Down Down Down Your Beer (Row, Row Row Your Boat tune)
Down down down your beer
To pay for your crimes
Quit complainin' about the taste
There's no sperm this time.
Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
El Camino
El Camino! El-El- Camino! El Camino! El-El- Camino!
The front is like a car, the back is like a truck!
The front is where you drive, the back is where you (fuck/ El Camino! El-El- Camino!)
Gentle Kiss of Fido (Also see Jerking Off in Silence)
Hello there my furry friend
I've come to play with you again
It seems another lonely night
I brought some peanut butter please don't bite
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist, I can't resist
The gentle kiss, Of Fido
Get It Up Get It In (Male Version)
Get it up get it in get it out - here's some cab fare
It was great but now it's late
Time for you to go!
I shot my load, now hit the road
Don't call me, I won't call you
Get It Up Get It In (Female Version)
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Hit the spot, make me hot,
I will scream out loud
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Suck my toes, insert your hose
make my juices flow
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
When I have cum, and I am done
We'll start another round
Get it up, get it in, get it out
Don't mess my hairdo
You've got a dick, but you should lick
Move that tongue around
Give Me an A
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
Give me an A (A!!!)
What does that spell?
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
God Bless My Underwear (God Bless America tune)
God bless my underwear,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them, And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the leg holes,
To the crotch flap,
Soaked with piss,
God bless my underwear
They look like this! (Person singing shows their underwear)
Goo Goo Goo Runnin' Out My Back Door (Lookin' Out My Backdoor/CCR tune)
Just got out of prison
My asshole's still a fizzin'
Dreamin' of the friends I left behind at cell block four
They raped me in the showers
It must have been for hours
Now there's goo-goo-goo runnin' out my back door
Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Philly,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers.
He Ought Be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot, (bang-bang!)
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s a horse’s ass
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass
He’s always pissing on us,
He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Head
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then we fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!
Head! Who said head?
I'll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers,
And then she fingered my asshole and I quivered [shivering sound]
It wasn't fun, it wasn't funny, it's dangerous
So I'm taking my TV, my dog, my football and I'm going home.
So fuck you you fucking fucks!
Her Left Tit Hangs Down
Her left tit hangs down to her belly
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit hung down to her right tit
She’d get lots of weenie from me.
Her Vagina Has a First Name (See Juicy Pussy, Peter Penis, Oscar Meyer song tune)
Her vagina has a first name,
It's P-U-S-S-Y.
Her vagina has an address,
It's downstairs at the Y.
I love to eat it every day,
And if you ask me why I'll say:
Her vagina tastes OK,
Mixed with my sperm's DNA!
Here’s to Brother Hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hashers, brother hashers
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug,
He’s happy, he’s jolly
He’s fucked up by golly.
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here’s to brother hasher, may he chug-a-lug.
Hot Vagina for Breakfast
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size, ready to eat,
So grab your chick, give her a lick,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
Hymn Hymn
Him, him,
Fuck him
I like Beer (to the tune of Frère Jacques aka We’ve Got Virgins)
I like beer
I like beer
Yes I do
Yes I do
I’m a fucking hasher
I’m a fucking hasher
I’ll take two.
I’ll take two.
I Love My Girl
I love my girl, yes I do, yes I do
I love her true-ly
I love the hole she pisses through
I love her tits, her lily white tits
Her nut brown asshole
I'll eat her shit Gobble Gobble Yum Yum
With a Rusty Spoon
With a Rusty Spoon
I Masturbated (I Wanna Be Sedated tune)
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago
I masturbated
No one to do, not even a hoe
so I masturbated
Lyin on the sofa with a dirty magazine
Got a box of Kleenex and some vaseline
Can't control my fingers, can't control my load
Oh no oh oh OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Down down down down, da-down-down-down-down….
I Wish I Were a Hasher with a Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner tune)
I wish I were a hasher with a penis
That is what I really wanna be
Cause if I were a hasher with a penis
I wouldn't have to stop and squat to pee
If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then it’s probably not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
If your boyfriend tastes like shit he was probably sucking dick
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's a homo
I’m Your Mailman
Here I come, down your way,
I can come twice a day,
I'm your mailman.
Knock your knockers, ring your bell,
I can make you feel swell,
I'm your mailman.
I can come in any kind of weather,
Don't you know my bags are made of leather?
I don't mess with keys or locks,
I'll just slip it in your box,
I'm your mailman.
Incest Time in Texas
Well, it’s incest time in Texas,
No pussy to be found.
Your momma’s in the outhouse
With her panties half-way down.
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!
It's A Small Dick
Well it’s not too long and it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol, (it gets small with alcohol? impotence with alcohol?)
It's a small, small, dick!
Jack the Necrophiliac
My name is Jack, Na na na na na na na
I'm a necrophiliac, Na na na na na na na
I fuck dead women Na na na na na na na
And I fill them full of jism, Na na na na na na na
I get frustrated, Na na na na na na na
When they get cremated, Na na na na na na na
Cause try as I must, Na na na na na na na
I can't Fuck Dust!
Jerking Off in Silence (Hello Penis, My Old Friend; Also see Gentle Kiss of Fido)
Hello penis my old friend, I've come to play with you again
Because a wet dream softly creeping, I spilled my seed while I was sleeping
And the helmet that was planted in my hand, did expand
While jerking off, in silence
Juicy Pussy (Oscar Meyer Weiner Song)
My vagina has a first name
It's J-U-I-C-Y
My vagina has a 2nd name
It's P-U-S-S-Y
My boyfriend/girlfriend licks it every day and if you ask them why they'll say
That juicy pussy is the way in my V-A-G-I-N-A!
Kitchen Song
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen stands for butt
Let It Grow (Let it Go Frozen song)
Let it grow, let it grow
Grab ahold and jerk some more
Here it goes, here it goes
On your knees and suck it sore
I don't care
If it's on your face
Let the cum rage on
The burn never bothered you anyway
Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down…
My DNA (YMCA tune)
Young Girl,
I like it when you go down,
I said Young Girl,
Won't you kneel on the ground,
I said Young Girl,
With your lips full and round,
On your knees you make me happy.
(spit, spit, spit, spit, spit)
I want to spray you with My DNA,
I want to spray you with My DNA,
It's a present from me,
a gift to all of the girls
I sure hope you like to wear pearls
Drink it down, down, down . . .
My Little Pink Panties
(Melody - When You Wore a Tulip (sometimes known as "My Little Red Rose"))
I wore my panties,
My little pink panties,
And he wore his G.I. shorts.
He began to caress me,
And then he undressed me,
What a thrill we had in store.
He played with my titties,
My little pink titties,
And down where the short hairs grow.
His kisses grew sweeter,
He pulled out his peter,
And whitewashed my little red rose.
No-No Song (Stop, Don't Touch Me There)
Stop! Don't touch me there!
That is my NO-NO square
R-A-P-E, get your filthy hands off me!
Number Song
You're not number 5!
Not number 4, number 3, number 2
You're Number 1 (everyone gives the people in circle the finger)
Old MacDonald - ONLY FOR OUTDOOR CIRCLES
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEiO
And on that farm he had some cows, EiEioh
With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm, EiEIO
(use as many verses as you want but end it with)
On that farm he had a Whale -
(everyone gets a mouth full of beer and then spits it out at someone in circle for being a d'bag or doing something really awesome)
One Skin
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Our Lager (Our Father)
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
PBR Fight Song
Heineken, Schmeineken
Fuck that shit.
Pabst! Blue! Ribbon!
Peter Penis (Oscar Meyer Weiner song)
My penis has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My penis has a 2nd name it's P-E-N-I-S
My girlfriend sucks it everyday and if you ask her why she'll say
(make choking/gobbling/mouthful noises)
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.
Quit Your Fuckin’ Whinin’
Quit your fuckin’ whinin’,
Quit your fuckin' bitchin',
Now go ahead, and give me head,
And get back into the kitchen!
Rubber Dickie (aka Rubber Dildo)
Rubber dickie, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dickie I'm awfully fond of you
Rubber dickie, toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dickie you're my very best friend, it's true…
Sally in the Alley
Sally in the alley, sifting cinders
Lifted up her skirt and farted like a man
The wind from her butt blew out six winders
The cheeks of her ass went bam! bam! bam!
She’s Alright
She’s alright, she’s alright
She’s a little flat-chested
But she’s alright
She’s a Little Sexpot
She’s a little sexpot
Short and squat
Here are her handles
Here is her twat
When she gets all filled up
Then hear her shout
"Bend me over
And eat me out!"
Stan Song
Beware you other Hashers, who want to steal our Stan.
She’s been around, she’s seen the world by air, and sea, and land.
Her parents here in Philly have to watch her like a hawk,
Cause Stan won’t stop ‘til she’s been on top of every color cock.
She might seem sweet and harmless, but soon you’ll come to see
You’re missing cash, you’ve got a rash, and it burns when you try to pee.
She’s our dirty daughter, she’s Philly’s precious gem,
And if you fuck with Stan you fuck with the whole damn BFM!
Take it in Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Oh, take it in the hand, Mrs Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound.
It's got hairs round its neck like a turkey,
And it spits when you shake it up and down.
Take Me Out to the Hash Run (Take Me Out to the Ball Game tune)
Take me out to the hash run -
Take me back to your room...
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex.....
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best!
For it's push, push, push to the climax -
If I don't cum, it's a shame.
For its ooh, ahh, oh my god -
I don't know your name!
(also see "Whip It Out at the Ballgame")
There Was a Little Bird
There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck
And shat about a peck,
As he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.
There's a Skeeter on My Peter
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fuckers buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!
Twenty Toes
There’s a game called twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
The men with ten toes down down down down…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Hasher
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow
Like a whale about to blow
Twinkle twinkle little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
U-G-L-Y/Face Down Ass Up
Face down, ass up,
That’s the way we like to fuck
Your momma, your momma
Your momma says you’re ugly
D-A-D-D-Y
You don’t even know that guy
Your daddy, your daddy
Your daddy says you’re ugly
U-N-C-L-E
That guy is your real daddy (alt: "that guy is dead to me")
Your uncle, your uncle
Your uncle says you’re ugly
C-O-U-S-I-N
That's who you'll be marryin'
Your cousin, your cousin
Your cousin says you're ugly
What a Wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.
When It’s Hog Calling Time
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
When it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Then it’s hog-calling time in Nebraska
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga
Boom chug-a-lugga-boom
(Alternate verses)
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
Then it’s sheep-fucking time in New Zealand
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When it’s cow-punching time in Texas
Then it’s cow-punching time in Texas
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
(Note: there are a zillion verses to this, look it up in another hash hymnal below if you want more)
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Whip it out at the Ballgame
Wave it ‘round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if you give it a whack
‘Cause it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t come it’s a shame.
For it’s One, Two, you’re covered in goo
At the old ball Game!
Why Was He Born So Beautiful
Why was he born so beautiful,
Why was he born at all,
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.
Wings of a Sparrow
If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly over all of the shiggy,
And shit on the hashers below.
With a Pipe And a Book
With a pipe and a book and a hooker on my lap
I'm gonna tell a tale and give her ass a slap
I'll tell her the story of Old Huck Finn
And ask her where I can stick it in...
I open up a bottle of fine vintage wine
And ask her if we can 69…
Would You Like a Finger
Would you like a finger in your beer,
Would you like a finger in your ear,
Would you like a finger in your rear,
No sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way sir, no fucking way,
Hey! Hey! Hey!
You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for your mother,
You’d be a stain of cum.
Ziggy Zaggy
Ziggy zaggy ziggy zaggy oy oy oy!
Long songs/Other Songs - Some not currently used in BFM / Good for Post-Circle and Long Bus Rides
A is for A
http://www.horntip.com/mp3/fieldwork/horntip_collection/t/tom_tarka/2004-05-07/a_is_for_a_(aka_a_long_black_pudding_song).htm
A is for A,
A,
A.
L.
L is for long,
long,
A long,
A.
S.
S is for strong,
Strong,
Long strong,
A long strong,
A.
B
B is for black,
Black,
Strong black,
Long strong black,
A long strong black,
A.
P is for pudding,
Pudding,
Black pudding,
Strong black pudding,
Long strong black pudding,
A long strong black pudding,
A.
Continue likewise:
W.
W is for Weather, weather
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cats asshole twice nightly weather.
A
P
P is for Permitting
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nighter weather permitting
E
E is for except
A long black sausage pudding up my sister's cat's asshole twice nightly weather permitting except Sundays.
A
Adam’s Family
Their drinking is compulsive,
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The hash house harriers
Their flatulence is rude,
Their genitals protrude when,
They’re running in the nude,
The hash house harriers
They’re always shaggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The hash house harriers
Da da da da down down…
Alouette
Formula:
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Alouette, gentille alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Does she have the (X)
(Yes she has the (X))
Repeat any previous verses
X? (X)…
Stringy hair
Furrowed brow
Wooden Eye (Yes I would!)
Crooked Nose
Blowjob Lips
Cum-stained teeth
Swinging Tits / Exhibit A, Exhibit B
Furry thing / Clean-shaven thing
Has she been a very good sport?
Dead Dog Rover
(Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is scattered,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, hey, that I over ran, hey
That I over ran with the mower!
I’m looking over
My minced dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
He’s no longer eating
He no longer barks
Hit his collar with the blade
And then we saw sparks
No there’s no use explaining
There’s nothing remaining
He’s scattered on the lawn, you see
I ran over
My dead dog Rover
And sent him to eternity
Days of the Week/Is Everybody Happy?
Instructions -- Sing/say the day of the week, then say all the previous days, then the chorus
Chorus:
Is Everybody Happy? You bet your ass we are!
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do
(turn around in a circle with your beer or finger over your head)
Today is Monday. Monday is a Wanking Day! (make a wanking motion)
(chorus)
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is two-finger day! (put up yr two fingers)
(Monday + chorus)
Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a hhhhoo-hooo day (put your fingers to your lips in a v for licking pussy)
(Tuesday + Monday + chorus)
Today is Thursday. Thursday is a hashing day!
(Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Friday! Friday is a fucking day! (make a sha-wing! fucking move)
(Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Saturday! Saturday is a drinking day!
(Friday + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Today is Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest.
Why???!?! Because!!!
(Saturday + Fri + Thurs + Weds + Tues + Mon + chorus)
Engineer Song
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum..........etc.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum..........etc.
So he built a bloody great wheel,
With two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass he filled with cream,
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.
He tied her to the leg of the bed,
Tied her hands above her head.
There she lay demanding a fuck,
He shook her hand and wished her luck.
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
'Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
She was split from ass to tit,
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit.
It jumped off her, it jumped on him,
And then it buggered their next of kin.
It jumped on an uptown bus,
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen
It was over in England fucking the Queen.
There is a moral to the story I tell,
If you see it coming better run like hell.
Nine months later a child was born,
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.
The moral of this story is mighty clear.
Never fuck an engineer.
Father Abraham
Chorus
Father Abraham had seven sons.
And seven sons had Father Abraham.
And he never laughed, (Ha!)
And he never cried,(Waaaa!)
All he did was go like this.
With a left. (Hold left arm out, moving hand to vertical and back again, and sing chorus while doing
it.)
(Stop moving arm and drop to side, then start over.)
With a left, (Start moving left arm again.)
And a right. (Start moving right arm in same fashion at same time as left, then sing chorus
again while doing so. This goes on adding movements in order with each verse.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left (Start moving left leg back an forth to side along with the arms.)
With a left,
And a right,
And a left,
And a right, (Now you are doing jumping jacks)
(Repeat the limb positions, then:)
She's a!!! (Squat, do chorus with
the jumping jacks, shouting "She's a" and doing the
butt thrust after "Father Abraham and at the end
of each line except the last.)
(Repeat the previous positions, then:)
Ho! (Thrust your pevis forward and ending with the chorus like this:)
Father Abraham (She's a Ho!) had seven sons (She's a Ho!)
And seven sons had Father Abraham (She's a Ho!)
And he never laughed (She's a Ho!)
And he never cried (She's a Ho!)
All he did was go like this
Follow the Hare
Sample Verse:
My boyfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer, a mighty good lawyer is he
All day he screws you, he screws you, he screws you
And at night he comes home and screws me.
Chorus:
Ohhhh! Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit
Follow the hare
Follow the hare with your tits in the air
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the hare all the way!
Verse:
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower, a mighty fine glassblower is she
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass
And at night she comes home and blows me!
Plumber/lays pipe… lays me
Farmer/plows fields, plows me
Mechanic/lubes motors, lubes me
Food critic/eats food, eats me
Dentist/Drills
Milkman/milks
Carpenter/nails/bangs
Contractor/hammers
Cowboy or cowgirl/rides
Etc. keep making up tunes about jobs and sexual things they do at home
Glorious, Victorious (Beer, Beer, Beer)
(We hardly ever sing this part in italics)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
(We usually sing this version)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
(Reason why… verse 1
Reason why - verse 2)
Oh there are no real hashers in ___
Sample:
Oh, there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey
Cause the shiggy on their hash
Is just Philadelphia trash
Oh there are no real hashers in New Jersey!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
(sample verse)
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Oh there are no real hashers in New York
Cause they run too fucking far
And it's always to a bar
Oh there are no real hashers in New York!
I Used to Work in Chicago
I Used to work in Chicago at an old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a carpet…
A carpet from the store?!?!?!
A carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
I don't work there anymore
Other verses
hard drive / floppy
floppy/ hard drive
hammer / nailed
metaphysical conversation/fucked
fucked/metaphysical conversation
burrito / pink taco
lube job / blow job
a shot / 3 fingers
etc. keep making them up
Jesus Can't Go Hashing/Free Beer for all the Hashers
Verse:
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus can't go hashing cause ____
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Sample verses:
Jesus can't go hashing cause he's stuck behind a rock
Jesus can't go hashing cause the Jew won't pay 5/8/10 bucks
Jesus (pronounced Spanish) can't go hashing cause he's mowing your front lawn
Jesus can't go hashing cause he only has 12 friends
Jesus can't play hockey cause he's nailed to the board
All the girls love Jesus cause he's hung like this
All the girls love Jesus cause they know he'll come again
the shiggy's on his head
he turns the beer to wine
his dad knows all the trails
the flour falls through his hands
he leaves a trail of blood
He's manscaping his crotch / Jesus shaves
He's high on ecstasy / Jesus raves
etc
…
End with
Jesus, we're only kidding!
Little Brown Mouse
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/
Well, the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor
And the shop was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse
And he sat in the pale moon light,
He lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat,
All night long you could hear him roar
"BRING ON THE FUCKING CAT!"
Well, out came the cat and they had a little spat
And the cat ate up on the mouse,
CHOMP, CHOMP!
And the moral of the story is
YOU CAN'T DRINK LIQUOR ON THE HOUSE!
The Monks of St. Bernard ("Grace" at Blue Hen H3 before you eat)
The monks of St. Bernard, St. Bernard, St. Bernard,
They don't give a bugger at all. (Why not?)
They rise up right early, right early, right early,
And pee through a hole in the wall.
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
The green leaves are yellow,
And so is the hole in the wall! (in the wall!)
My Girlfriend Is a Vegetable
Chorus/Start: My girlfriend is a vegetable, She lives in a hospital…I’d do most anything to keep her alive.
Sample verses:
She has no arms or legs, She looks like a pony keg…
She’s got a new TV, They call it an EKG…
She has a tracheotomy, that's another hole for me ...
She can’t get out of bed, Still she can give me head…
Her EKG does not rise, But she still spreads her thighs…
My girl has long blond hair, It’s in patches here and there…
She’s got no arms or legs, She’s got two wooden pegs…
I’m always guaranteed a blow, Because she can’t say no…
She has no feet or hands, Her head’s connected with rubber bands…
She might not live the night, That means she won’t fight…
My girl lives in an iron lung, But she can still give real good tongue…
My girl has leprosy, Parts are always landing on top of me…
She had an episiotomy, That’s a bigger hole for me…
She can not hear, she can not see, But she’s got an oral cavity…
When I run out of cash, I rent her out to the Agana Hash…
One day just for a joke, I stepped on her cord and made her choke…
Whenever I need some lube, I just pull out her feeding tube…
There’s one doc I won’t let in, his name is Kevorkian…
Off We Go
(Sung To: Air Force Song)
Off we go into the hot wet pussy,
Wiggle our tails, searching for eggs,
Some of us will bounce off her tonsils,
Some of us will drip down her leg,
I'm the one who found the hole in the condom,
Finally reaching my goal,
Yes, that's it!
Oh no, it's shit!
He stuck it up her hershey hole.
The S&M Man
Who Can Take A Puppy,
Hold It By The Ears,
Fuck It In The Ass,
Until It Sheds Those Puppy Tears?
The S&M Man
The S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love to make the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good
etc.
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody - As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Shout out your sizes loud and strong:
Junior, Regular, Super-Duper, Bale of Hay!
For where e're we go you will always know
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you'll sit around and talk
You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
You can tell by her eyes there is blood between her thighs
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
You can tell by her stance that she's bleeding in her pants.
You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can bet it isn’t sweat when her underwear is wet
You can tell by the stink that she isn't in the pink
You can tell by the frown that you’ll have to go for brown
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well
You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing hemoglobin
You can tell by the string that you’re not gonna get a thing
Yo Ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, now! That's way to low!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, "Come on! You're kiddin' me!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, "Come on! You're way too shy!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, "Hey now! You're gettin' it!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, "Right there! That's the spot!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
I put my dick right in her mouth,
She said, "Mmm umph mmph um um-mmph!"
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
And now she's buried in a wooden box,
From suckin' too many hashers' cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo-ho, yo-ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
She fucked us once, she'll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through, Yo-ho, yo-ho!
The worms have eaten her through and through,
What the hell, more holes to screw!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin' about,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho!
Yogi Bear
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi, Yogi
There's a Bear in the deep, dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear!
There's a Bear in the deep,dark woods, Yogi Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy, Cindy Bear! Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy doesn't shave her snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Yogi has a best friend bear, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Yogi Has a 10inch Cock, Black Bear, Black Bear
BooBoo Likes in in the Butt, Brown Bear, Brown Bear
Cindy Doesn't Wash Her Snatch, Camem-, Camem- (Camembert)
BooBoo Drank Too Much Last Night, Can't' Remem, Can't Remem (Can't Remember)
Cindy likes vegetables, Cucum, Cucum (Cucumber)
Cindy is a frigid bitch, Polar, Polar…
Cindy has a girlfriend, Klondyke, Klondyke…
Booboo lost all his teeth, Gummi, Gummi…
Cindy has a black eye, Panda, Panda
Yogi is the #1 Threat, Stephen Col-, Stephen Col… (Stephen Colbert)
Keep making up verses with words ending with bear...
(end of the song)
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than, More Than
Yogi Has a 12inch Cock, More Than I Can Bear
…
Other Hash Hymnal Links
http://pwoodford.net/hymnal/html/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm
http://half-mind.com/Songs/
http://www.harrier.net/songs/
http://www.chicagohash.com/chicago-hash-hymnal/