When:4/18/24
Where: Franklin’s East Falls
Hares: Just Andrew and Slothy Seconds
RA: R3
Who came:
What What Mud in the Butt
Runner Girl
Just MK
Just Andre
Lincoln Fucknancial Field
Shitz and Scribbles
60k9
Where’s my D?
Mountin Deez Nutz
Please read this in the voice of our late Steve Irwin. The best thing to have ever come out of Australia:
*My apologies to any actual Australians. We love you- Where’s my D?
G’day mates! My name is Steve Irwin and I’m going to be exploring with you hashing today. Hashers are a bloody special breed of animals. These creatures are highly motivated by alcohol, usually a cold one.
Today we’re going to follow a group of them down under in the beautiful location of East Falls. Most of em met up through the Facey and came prepared with their runners on. One sheila, R3 is wearing a flannie tied up to look like a true blue. What a beauty! It looks to be she is explaining hashing to the rest- a dardy adventure run by a group of larrikins on a run for some frothys and goon! The mates are going to be following marks laid by the hares, Slothy and Just Andrew.
*heavy breathing* I’m currently running alongside the hasher and I'm noticing the bludgers tend to stay back at the checks while the fast ones put in the hard yakka looking for marks that will lead them to a slab.
*continued heavy breathing* We’re through the bush, at times going through some iffy spots, but no wuckas, finding the marks seems to be a piece of piss!
Finally we’re slowing down to check and one hasher, What what appears to be cracking the shit with the crosswalk, which is a rare site to see! This might be because she can’t drink frothies. Crikey! A hasher who can’t drink a frothy?! I’d be devo.
It looks like the group of hashers have come across a turkey/ eagle split which looks to just lead to a track to run around. Moutin Deez Nutz and Just Andre are drongo enough to take the eagle and get their extra quarter mile in.
*heavy breathing finally slowing down* The group finally has made it to the goon to do some goonbagging! There appears to be cheap cab sav that they are downing. They must have been thirsty buggers! And like the root rat he is, Mountain Deez Nuts is bloody on top of a turtle. I think it might have given him a stiffy! What’s fascinating about these galah’s is they really will try to mount anything.
Now that they are all choc a bloc from the goon they have shot through on the hunt for an esky. *Heavy breathing again* I’m noticing some of the hashers slow down and are using the bush as their own personal dunny. Must be from all the coldies they drank beforehand.
Crikey and now we’re already at what they call the “beer near”, which is a slab. They are skulling these frothies pretty quick. Good on ya hashers! 60K9 talks about doing a juan apple seed, a cider with a shot of tequila. That’s gnarly!
*Breathing has slowed down finally* We’re finally back to the bar. Interesting, the group has formed a circle and are singing songs and making what they call “accusations”. Unfortunately, I don’t see a barbie, but What What is slurping down some oysters. The group might be stuffed but they continue to skull beers, accusation after accusation. Runner girl appears and I find it important to point out that he is ACTUALLY the size of two Slothy’s.
Circle is eventually closed. What a treat! I was stoked to follow the hashers, these endangered species really are fascinating. I think this time with them really highlights how important they are to the ecosystem and that they must be protected at all costs. Some important things I learned were “don’t mash potatoes if they are already mashed” and don’t say head- oh crikey!