BFMH3-04 (Wolfman Jackoff Plays Tic-Tac-Toe)
18 March 04: Wolfman Jackoff pulled the short straw tonight, winning the dishonor of laying live trail. With a bag of flour supplied by Winky in his paws, the Wolfman set off. Five minutes later, the mob stumbled out of Tattooed Mom’s and wandered among South Street freaks, looking for trail. Trail appeared around the corner and the on on was on.
The Wolfman led the mob on a hairy chase south, dropping flour under cloudy skies. He laid big, thick easy-to-see checks, and lots of them. So many checks, in fact, that he might have been playing super sized tic-tac-toe on the blocks of Philadelphia. That didn’t stop Tastes Like Chicken from finding trail and FRBing like a damned FRB.
Near one of his checks the Wolfman laid another big, thick pile of flour at the bottom of steps leading into a subway concourse, where the trailed died. This was the same trick Winky used last week, but that didn’t stop your’s truly from falling for it once again. Mmm, nothing like the reek of subway urine when you’re breathing hard. % $#&*@
The trail ran coherently south, west, and then east. But eventually, the Wolfman got tired of laying trail that led in a particular direction, so he scattered flour in all directions inside Washington Square. Self Service found trail but it disappeared. As the mob roamed the square aimlessly, Self Service found true trail on the square’s far side and led the way on in.
What started as an A to A ended as an A to B when the auto hashing Sly Fox hailed the mob into Manny Brown’s, a 1/2 block down from Tattooed Mom’s. Inside the bar, there was the hare, waiting patiently with beer in hand. Keeping him company was Phil McCracken (sp?), another auto hasher. Sly Fox trafficked the rest of the mob inside, where she supplied incriminating photos of the misdeeds and debauchery of last weekend’s Green Dress Run.
The auto hash roster grew as Lunar Digit found his way into the bar about a ½ hour later. Like a real Sherlock, he looked for bars advertising cheap beer, figuring that’s where the hash would be. And he was right. Soon after Cause for Blindness and Just Minh were retrieved from Tattooed Mom’s, where they were waiting for the hash to return. They could have been waiting a very long time. Serves them right for auto hashing. (Minh said the `h’ in her name is silent, though there were doubts about that.)
Though the hash did not do a circle, we sat in a circle around a table, and there was beer. And that’s about the way it was. Shitty trail, shitty bars (both of them). And the BFM continues…
On on.
the day, back in the
seriously…
curmudgeonly comments need to have the following elements
1. begin with the words back in MY day
2. complaints about imagined slights by the current administration
3. verbage about how much better YOU used to do it
4. completely off topic rants
5. threats to really leave and not come back this time if specific action is not taken
6. signing off with the expletive of your choice
…amateur