BFMH3-05 (Girly Man!)
Posted on March 25, 2004
25 March 04: Tonight the weather was dry, the flour was white, and the hare was Just Bill. Bill is a Collegeville refugee who now lives in Old City, Philadelphia, which is the location of Paddy’s, the unofficial bar of the BFM, and the A of tonight’s A to A hash.
A tiny group of Just Bill, Bastard Child, and Cunting Season (a White House Hash transplant) waiting at the bar at 7:30 grew into a small mob as other miscreants found their way inside, including Winky, Lunar Digit, Tastes Like Chicken, and Just Tom, who some may recall had sported a one piece mini at the Green Dress. Others may recall Cunting Season, who graced the Green Dress regaled in a tutu. Sticky Fingers also made it, but she was determined to auto hash.
Just Bill pulled the short straw from Winky’s hand, and so his fate was sealed and he left the bar for this, his virgin hare. He was lucky, because the hash gave him extra time as it waited for Tastes Like Chicken, fresh out of work, to strip out of her civilian clothes and put on sneaks. Once she was ready, the mob was off to try and catch the hare.
Just Bill’s trail looped through, in, and around the many alleys of Old City. Hashers had déjà vu over and over again as they tried to navigate Just Bill’s maze like bloodhounds with nose colds. Watchwords for the night: “Weren’t we just here?” No doubt Just Bill is intimate with these alleys, where evidently he spends a lot of time, walking, eating, drinking, sleeping…
During the run, a group of aimless youths hanging out in a doorway must have seen the hare laying trail, because they accused the mob of following the Johnny Apple Seed of Anthrax and tried to steer us in the wrong direction. The little bastids. Later, Bastard Child was spotted chatting with a few bike cops, who said to the mob as it ran by, “You guys must have something better to do than this!”
Since we didn’t, we followed the trail to its end at Paddy’s, where additional auto hashers appeared, including Phil McCracken (sp?), Sly Fox, and a friend of Tastes Like Chicken whose name may have been Ashley. In time, and just in time, Cause for Blindness came through the door and was handed a beer for the troubles she suffered through while finding parking and finding the bar itself. The location of the bar, she said, is apparently available only on a “need to know basis.” But she made it, and she joined the rest in beer.
Winky took the increasingly drunken mob to the alley outside for a circle, where the mob made damn sure the BFM virgins and the hare did their duty. During the proceedings, a stranger appeared in the circle, apparently at the invitation of Tastes Like Chicken. He said he ran earlier in the day, and he was drinking now, so he figured he belonged in the circle. Cause for Blindness pointed at his drink (not beer), which was garnished with a lime, and which he held with his pinky out, and called him a “Girly Man,” and the hash roared with laughter, and it was good.
And thus a man who has never run a hash, who until tonight has never heard of a hash, was named “Girly Man,” whether he wanted to be or not. Winky, sensing that the hash had spoken, named him as such, and Girly Man did his first ever down down in a back alley of Old City surrounded by a bunch of drunken strangers. He’s expected to actually run next week, as he willingly gave up his e-mail and telephone information. Now he, too, can wait until next Wednesday night/Thursday morning for Winky to tell us where next Thursday night’s hash will be.
As the evening wound down, a very late Just Minh (`h’ is supposedly silent) showed up with her friend who had just flown in from Atlanta. As one left Paddy’s, one had the sense that the BFM is becoming an even bigger f***ing mess, and that’s a good thing.
On on.
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