BFM #10
Posted on April 29, 2004
29 April 04: Yes, there was a concantenation of recreational r*nning mavens on the pentultimate day of the month of showers, in an establishment of comestibles in a venerable portion of the city of brotherly love.
Translation:
The Ben Franklin Mob O’Hashers met on April 29th at Paddy’s in Old City. Scooby Snatch, Just Chris and Bastard Child were there when your proxy scribe arrived. Where’s Dildo? was spotted chatting up a local who turned out to be the Bartender’s girlfriend. That would explain the LARGE bandages now encasing WD?’s left arm. It doesn’t, but it would. Seems our young friend ‘went under the knife’ for his seemingly innocuous injury following the auto incident, so he was sticking to his safe soda to complement doses of Percoset.
After the usual suspects assembled Wolfman Jack(off) drew the first and therefore short straw so was awared the "Cause ain’t got no more class" bag of flour and green chalk and was (jack) Off.
3-12 minutes later the pack was after him down 2nd Street and ’round about the cobblestone alleys and such. E=MC^2 soon set his own marathon pace and, I think, his own trail, as I didn’t see him til much later.
We ran/jogged/walked/skipped through posted sites, over the red brick bridge over troubled train tracks, and headed ever closer to the Big River. Up to this point the trail was well-marked, though the checks were a tad too easy, IMeversoHO, but under the underpass the marks were elusive. ON-ONs again were heard an the pack headed off towards the bridge.
Can You Hear Me Now? and I were short-cutting across a gravel lot when he slowed to a walk claiming groin injury, (refusing an offer of massage… ). We followed trail shortly back into Paddy’s to find Serious Trouser Display now entertaing lost Dildo. The hare showed up soon after, rueing his decision to have trail lead too close to the bar for the last leg. We started the requisite thirst-quenching and awaited the rest of the pack. Sarah "Urban Terroist" Cunter was first in, I think, but the others were right behind. E= was last in, having run trail+ as usual.
A circle formed in the alley and Wolfman began the proceedings. (Here’s where my memory gets even fuzzier). Sarah did her FRB down-down. Just Chris was defloured as a BFM virgin. I held Wolfman’s jugs for his hare down-down. I held them again for the overacheiving marathoner down-down that included WJ, E=MC^2, Strap On, the absent Chick Repellent … any others?
Strap On and E did a "look at the size of that … rock" engagement down-down. CYHMN? and CfB did a shortcutters round. Autohashing STD, Strap On, Where’s Dildo? did theirs. STD did another for overdressing for the hash in her gold trousers. Bastard Child was also accused for having changed into yuppy uniform. Little F*cking Winky hung around like the Grand F*ing Master that he is. Newly named Skin Fiddle kept silent and avoided extraneous beer consumption. Eventually we returned inside for more BEER. Just Chris bought a round of Root Beer Barrells and anything after that is erased from memory. I had more water and went home, the long way, taking this Ben Franklin thing a bit too far. Into Jersey. DWS.
Time for me to get back to work so, until next time (the Stinko Pre-Lewd/ Pre-Lube on 5/6) I am your
Mitsubishi Mama
Cause
Filed Under Trash |
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