BFM #7
Posted on April 8, 2004
08 April 04: The mob gathered tonight in University City at The Blarney Stone and Urban Terrorist was the hare. As the BFM’s first female hare, Urban Terrorist found herself being chased by a horde of beer swilling, trash talking men – along with Tastes Like Chicken, who seemed to be surrounded by men at every check.
Urban Terrorist lived up to her (then current) name by laying a (nicely marked) marathon trail, which all but the most meat-headed managed to short circuit. It started in University City, spread into Center City, and wended back through a variety of unexpected obstacles. Obstacles such as a barbed wire fence, slick train tracks (at night this was), a climbing wall ("on over"), and some drunken fool stumbling on the tracks who kept shouting something sounding like "on on," which confused everyone in ear shot. No doubt he was some hasher way off some other trail.
The meat-heads who actually ran the whole trail, including newly named MyDamn Butterfly, Bastard Child, BFM virgin Scooby Snatch, and your correspondent, later learned that the hare had been caught by a few shortcutters who found her laying low somewhere, no doubt plotting the next five miles she had intended to run. But there was no more running for the hare tonight, only drinking
Back at the Blarney, the BFM’s new religious advisor, Wolfman Jackoff, took the mob to the top floor for a circle, where the hash sang songs in direct competition with the wall speakers. Fortunately the speakers mostly won, despite the vocal power of the Dale Earnhardt of auto hashing - Cause for Blindness. The presence of Sternum & Rectum at the circle was missed, as he had left sometime earlier (note: he will be haring a Full Moon in May).
The BFM witnessed its first naming of someone who actually ran a hash. J.P., who has been appearing more frequently lately, was dubbed Cuntanamo Bay as a result of his service in the armed forces, where he was a cavalry scout. No doubt he was honorably discharged from service, but of course at that time he wasn’t a hasher. The virgins, including Just Bob and Scooby, did there down downs next.
The hare did her own down down dutifully, but she had a hat on, and so she did another. But it didn’t end there. It so happens that this particular hare has been named and re-named by every hash in Philadelphia except the BFM, so Winky added another name to the list: "Sarah Conner," because the hare looks like The Terminator’s terminator, and she can no doubt kick The Terminator’s ass. If anyone disputes how her name is spelled here, remember the wall speakers were loud and made it hard to hear. To see very disturbing Sarah Conner dolls, go here:
For her newest re-naming, Sarah Conner did yet another down down. For the offense of so many re-namings, she did still another down down. There were some in the circle who wanted her to do a down down for doing so many down downs, but that idea was shut down by Cunting Season.
And so the circle degenerated back into a mob and went back downstairs for more liver damage. Many not named here were present, though Sly Fox took pictures, so you won’t be able to deny it. They may be posted on the Yahoo site soon.
On on.
Filed Under Trash |
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