BFM #16 Continued…The Aftermath
Posted on June 11, 2004
11 June 04: On the morning following BFM16, without flour and wearing a charcoal three-button suit, Wolfman Jackoff sat patiently inside courtroom 405 of Philadelphia’s Criminal Justice Center, 13th & Filbert Streets. As he sat, the room slowly filled with police officers, victims, witnesses, defendants, defense attorneys, and prosecutors, all who, like the Wolfman, were there to see the Judge.
At the front of the room, three prosecutors lined up behind one table, removed their case files from their oversized briefcases, and called out names of victims scheduled to testify. Some victims showed up, others did not. Police officers hovered around the prosecutors, reviewing their arrest files. Nearby the defense attorneys also reviewed files at their table. Behind the lawyers, defendants took their seats in the gallery, as did the crime victims who came to testify against them.
The detective who took Wolfman’s six-page statement was nowhere to be seen. As he would be the one testifying against the Wolfman, he was a very important witness. His absence was a good sign.
In a door embedded in the wall behind the Judge’s bench, the Judge appeared. He was a tall man with glasses and a friendly face. The court crier, whose name was Eric, stood up and directed everyone in the room to "all rise," and the room stood. When the Judge sat, so did the room. Eric warned the room that the Judge requires "absolute silence."
The room’s eyes were on the Judge, who said, "Eric, I want to be precise about what you just said. It is true that I do like `silence.’ But I want to make it clear that I also like `Absolut.’" Some people laughed, some looked confused, and others wondered about the pitcher sitting on the Judge’s desk. Eric didn’t laugh. Maybe the Judge uses that line every day.
Eric began to run through the case list to find out which cases were ready for the Judge to hear. When Eric called a defendant’s name, the prosecutor and the defense attorney reported their status on the defendant’s case.
Eric called the first two cases, and then Wolfman’s lawyer walked into the room. Seeing the lawyer, Eric called Wolfman’s case, though he pronounced Wolfman’s civilian name something like, "Aila Ragu." Wolfman’s lawyer corrected Eric’s pronunciation, and then the prosecutor reported his status.
"Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "the Commonwealth is withdrawing prosecution in this case."
When the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania has filed criminal charges against you, there are no two finer words than, "withdrawing prosecution." It means just what it sounds like. The D.A dropped the charges. And with that, Wolfman’s legal adventure ended faster than you can say, "Why are we waiting?"
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