BFM #20
Posted on July 8, 2004
8 July 2004: The mob met its 20th time at Molly’s, near Third and Chestnut Streets. The awesome twosome from Hokessin HHH - Thunder Thighs and Bitchard - made their BFM debut. A brand new Just Brian, imported from Boston, turned out, as did Horse Jerker, a hasher from Rochester, NY. Scooby Snatch showed up as a civilian, disappeared, and reappeared in running shorts and yet another t-shirt with words not appropriate for a family newspaper. Rash was there, too. Her t-shirt advertised a company doing business in hoists and whips. People didn’t ask questions.
Cunting Season brought five pounds of flour. Some chucklehead mixed it with red carpenter’s chalk, which made it pink. Straws were drawn. Just Brian and Thunder Thighs declined to draw, but Thunder Thighs changed her mind, perhaps thinking she could give the straw to Bichard if she drew the short one. We’ll never know if she was right, because the short one went to Rash.
Rash high-tailed it, and five minutes later the mob spilled from the bar for the chase. Rash’s trail spread directly into Society Hill, right through the Society Hill Towers complex, which contains Lunar Digit’s new launching pad. Bastard Child suggested – loudly and repeatedly – that we do a beer check there. If we had done that, then Lunar’s new neighbor would have demanded – loudly and repeatedly – that Lunar be evicted. It’s something for the mob to consider doing.
With Bichard out front and Cause for Blindness bringing up the rear, the mob pushed further into Society Hill, tracking the rash of pink flour which seemed to be everywhere. As it turns out, there wasn’t much pink flour at all, just a lot of pink paint sprayed on the streets and sidewalks by road crews. Evidently pink is the color fashion of the season among the street construction crowd.
Around South Street the mob dissipated into moblets. The new Just Brian, Horse Jerker, and Bastard Child were seen running together headed south; Cause for Blindness – a mob unto herself - had been seen two blocks away, running north. Trail led into Queens Village.
Near Third and Catherine streets, Drag Queen and the other, original, Just Brian popped out of a side alley. They started late but used their stupor human powers to catch up to what was left of the mob. That was no easy task, because in Queens Village the trail tended to appear and then disappear for blocks at a time. At a particularly long stretch of no trail, it was feared that Rash stopped for her own personal beer check at a neighborhood bar. But that wasn’t what happened.
What happened, Rash later explained, was that police were patrolling the area. To avoid attracting police suspicion, Rash continued to walk along, but without laying trail. This was a good call, because with her long, straight brown hair, cute smile, and running shorts, Rash raises suspicion wherever she goes. Add pink flour to the image, and no doubt the cops would have called in the FBI, CIA, DEA, KGB, SUV, and FRB.
The trail was so hard to find that nobody, including Rash it seems, finished it. But everyone had a good time looking for it, and it was a great evening for a long run. Back at the bar the auto-hashing contingent had taken over several tables, cheering everyone as they made it in, one by one. Last in were Drag Queen and the other, original Just Brian.
Sticky Fingers was there, but without her Limp Man Toy. Tastes Like Chicken was there, back from the seashore, sporting an oven roasted golden, brown tan. Silent Ho was there, too, bracing herself for the impending death of her third decade on earth. (Happy Birthday, Silent Ho – it only gets better.) The GFM, Little Fucking Winkie, was there with his fraternal twin sister and brother-in-law who were visiting from Minnesota. Sister and bro-in-law spent many evenings this past week with members of the hash. As a result, it is likely they will never return.
Molly’s turned out to be a lame-ass location, as the bartender treated the mob poorly. So poorly, in fact, that the mob vacated the premises and traveled across the street to St. Jack’s, where the bartender won the BFM’s hearts and minds by being all around friendly and excellent. Upstairs at St. Jack’s, Scooby Snatch conducted the circle in the absence of Wolfman Jackoff. Down downs were done for a variety of odious reasons which are now hidden by the beer fog. Incriminating photos are available for your prurient interest.
And that’s how it was. Down with Molly’s, Up with Jack’s. Next week, praised be beer, the mob turns 21.
On on.
Filed Under Trash |
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
