BFM #23

Posted on July 29, 2004

Dateline: PHILADELPHIA 29 July, 2004 A young woman was interrogated by police tonight, having been spotted engaged in suspicious activity in Center City this evening.

Yes, the BFM met again, at McGillan’s this week, home of Free Beer Tomorrow, and Just-wishin’-she-could-join-us-Liz, our lovely waitperson. With our bags and the extra flour safely stored, the pack of regulars, visitors, and adventurous virgins swarmed outside to draw straws from Rash’s grasp. In keeping with the new karma, she was left with the short straw and promptly dropped the bag o’ blue scary substance, spilling measurable quantities of the contents. After the clean-up committee (MasterBaster and Drag Queen) did their work, she was off like a bunny.

We waited at least four and a half minutes before beginning hot pursuit. Our hare was again a sneaky varmint changing sides of the street and direction at her whim. A big circle jerk around a nearby parking lot brought the pack together about a block from our start. Several turns and checks later the pack was divided into the FRBs and the DFLs - myself, Just Maygan, and Just Tyler, who was r*nning without benefit of sneakers or even socks.

We had to spread out and check ALL the checks out for trail but eventually followed it through another parking lot, past a SEPTA entrance, west a little, through yet another lot, and then conferred about the wisdom of toughing it out in the growing darkness. Unanimous sanity prevailed and we headed ("who said head?" yadda, yadda yadda) back to the bar, in time to "catch" Rash coming towards us and marking ON IN at the corner of 13th & Drury.

Scooby Snatch soon scooted in and after some banter, we went in for Beer, finding autohashers (LF)Winkie and busy traveler Wolfman, already mid-pitcher with Cunting Season, who had short-cutted home pleading illness, and Tastes Like Chicken, Looks Too Relaxed and Tanned. It wasn’t long before the rest of the pack piled in, along with Lunar (Check out my ass in my new Dockers) Digit.

Down-downs were performed Up-Upstairs in the BFM Room of Sobriety Doom. Winkie and Scooby presided, awarding pints to non-shortcutting First In Sasquatch and Dead F*cking Last In Cousin It, albeit after controversary over who of the mob of FRBs was first and who beat out whom in the Cousin It vs. Wishboneher finish. Catch-Me-If-You-Can (but nobody did) Rash was honored for her Shitty Trail, and her ability to explain to the officially curious policewoman that she was merely setting a r*unning trail.

Then it was time to de-flour the Virgins: Just Tyler found us on The Web by searching on ‘Philadelphia’ and ‘Beer’. (Good Job Can You Hear Me Now?!) Scooby made Just Maygan cum and she made her sweetie, Just Dan, cum, and Wishboner did hers as a BFM Virgin. Winkie, Wolfman, Chicken and Lunar drank for autohashing.

Next came accusations, sending into center circle Just Morgan, for missing his down-down last week (for autohashing due to f*cking), Lunar Digit, for cell phone use during circle (and showing off "stylish slacks"), and Cause for Blindness for using an R word while accusing Wolfman of improper scheduling - missing Grab Bag’s Blue Moon Hash in favor of A R*ce*. Finally, Just Tyler and Wishboneher drank out of their respective improper footwear. (You’d think she’d know better than to wear new sneakers to a hash. I don’t think Just Tyler knew quite what he was getting into, but having been properly Welcomed and defloured, he claims he’ll know better next time.)

After Cousin It made his umpteenth Philly’s Tailgate Party Announcement**, the circle was declared closed and we all adjourned downstairs to drink and talk Politics. Several hashers ventured back upstairs to watch (our next president) John Kerry’s acceptance speech. More beer and nachos and beer and pizzas were ordered with Mob remnants remaining ’til last call. (Hic).

Belatedly,

Cause for Blindness

*Wolfman Jackoff (YJ,WTFWYT?) and (Flea and) Chick Repellant: I know an angry Marine in Allentown. Harrumph.

Denouncement:

** Phillies Game / Tailgate Party: Saturday, August 28. It is a night game (7:05) against Milwaukee.

This is an All-Hash event. Hashers from any Hash are welcome.

The tailgate will cost $5. Everyone liked the tailgate last year and it will be even better this year. If you are curious, ask someone who went last year: B&E, Cousin It, Clorineman, Plunge & Puke, Comes Early, Crib Snatcher, E=MyCock^2, Handjob, Jaguar, Jubal, Just Janet, Rock Hard, Strap-on, Target, Teflon, Just Wyatt, Just Mom, Baby Huey, Just Nate, Mary F. Poppins, Butt Head, Devil Woman, Late Cummer, Just Gwen, Dry Hump, and others.

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