BFM #25

Posted on August 12, 2004

12 August 2004: Thursday the Mob invaded Oscar’s Tavern, 1524 Sansom Street, where the Full Moon H3 Animal Pub Crawl commenced a few months back. Apparently Oscar’s did not remember the hash, because they let us hashers stay.

At that Full Moon Pub Crawl, so many moons ago, Wolfman Jackoff was responsible for distributing mugs to commemorate the experience, but he didn’t do it. Instead, he had his own personal Shawshank Redemption.

Tonight he brought the mugs. And there they sat, waiting, in a bag leaning against Sasquatch in a booth in the back of the bar.

Next to the ‘Squatch sat Drag Queen. Both these FRBing freaks chatted with Just Amy, who recently emerged from the ether. The Wolfman was positioned nearby, keeping an eye on the mugs. The big house taught him keep close to the goods.

And a valuable lesson, too, what with the likes of Just Brian II, Smells Good, Master Baster, and Just Dan, pictured here, lurking about.

The bar turned a little blue/greener as Sticky Fingers and Tastes Like Chicken walked in wearing scrubs. They’ll be haring a Philly HHH run Tuesday at 6:30 pm, beginning at 601 Market Street, Philadelphia. Fail to show at your peril. These chix can save your life (or not).

Next in came Cause for Blindness, shocked she arrived before the mob left. Shock mounted as Little Fucking Winkie also arrived in time and ready to run. Compounding the situation was Skin Fiddle who showed in shorts, not a tie. Still later Where’s Dildo? came on in.

There was no Rash, however, and therefore no flour, though there was blue chalk. But blue chalk and flour are no good on their own. The blue’s too dark for night and flour alone just ain’t right, anymore. So Fiddle went in search of flour. Everyone else drank beer. Nut Cruncher had no comment.

While we waited, the Wolfman presented the straws. The first draw went to Winkie, as did the short straw, once again, making this his 6th hare in a hash that has had only 25, many of which he auto hashed. Must be his Minnesota Mojo.

Shortly thereafter Beer Sucks showed up with Bastard Child in tow. And just in time, too, as Skin Fiddle returned bearing two bags of flour. No Olympic torch-bearer has ever had the reception he received.

And the on-on was on, with Winkie traveling east, leaving a check at the end of the block. The mob scattered, picking up trail toward City Hall, down into the subway tunnels, which attract Winkie the way sheep attract a lonely shepherd.

Winkie made the underground tunnel visit especially long. Trail after trail led to no trail, keeping the mob together, keeping the mob aimless. No doubt the mob spent more time underground than above, before following trail back to Oscar’s

Back at Oscar’s additional mobbers showed themselves. Purrier was first in, followed not long after by Lunar Digit, who shook his Diesels like electrified weasels, and Cousin It, who arrived in time to announce the Phillies tailgate party, Saturday, August 28.

After distributing the pub crawl mugs, the Wolfman convened the circle but without the needed nonsense of Scooby Snatch, whose absence was perceived until stupor took over. Wolfman came through with big house grit and led the mob through down downs and song, making the bar’s other patrons wonder what the?

Auto hashers were manifold, and all of ‘em down downed. Purrier tried to dump her un-drunk backwash on her head, but instead dumped it down the shirt of a civillian passing behind her. He may have minded, but he kept walking.

And in that way the BFM passed it’s number twenty-five, still alive, on fuckin’ on, you fuckin’ fucks.

Denouncement:

Phillies Game / Tailgate Party: Saturday, August 28. It is a night game (7:05) against Milwaukee.

Filed Under Trash |

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