BFM #31
Posted on September 23, 2004
23 September 2004: Tonight the Mob met at McKenna’s, 24th and Brown, the site of the Chocolate Cake hash a few months back. Frank Lloyd Thong, a visitor from Baltimore-Anapolis was there, as was a virgin, Just Mitch. Two-timer Just Sean returned, as did the elusive Just Brianna, who usually runs trail and then disappears before the circle.
She couldn’t pull her disappearing act tonight, though, because tonight she pulled the short straw, making her the hare. She’s never laid trail before, so Skin Fiddle stepped in to help out. And the two of ‘em were out the door.
They used their four legs to lay many false trails. Skin Fiddle later explained he left most of the running to Just Brianna, who is a chronic FRB. Her piston-like legs and his cunning yet demented mind led the Mob through Fairmount’s alleyways and across a shiggy-hidden bridge that crosses into Kelly Drive and Schuylkill River Park.
In the River Park, trail suddenly disappeared. After a thorough and fruitless search, Wolfman Jackoff, Winkie, and your correspondent cut over to the Rocky steps, thinking maybe the hares went there. No marks. But there was a mass of people taking ethnic dance lessons. Winkie joined in at the top of the steps. It was dirty dancing, but not ‘good’ dirty.
Just Sean appeared, and the four of us went looking for trail in Eakins Oval. No luck. Where could the trail have gone? It was Bitchard and Master Baster who found out.
These two wandered onto the Water Works plateau, which juts out over the Schuylkill River. It’s a dead end. And there they found a giant, “ON IN,” along with the hares, who mysteriously decided to end trail right there. That is forgivable, of course, but there was no beer at their On In, which is not. Th’bastids.
There was beer back at the bar, though. In the circle the hares down downed for their shitty trail, but Skin Fiddle left his cap on, so he drank again, and when one hare drinks . . .. Both times, Just Brianna finished drinking first; Cause for Blindness later accused Skin Fiddle for being beaten by a girl. The Mob deemed that accusation ‘false’, so Cause down downed for it, and Winkie banned her from making accusations at the BFM. How will this ban be enforced?
Cause’s accusation was one of many that the Mob flung tonight like Jell-O in a pay-per-view catfight. Bitchard was branded an overachieving ass clown for setting a Delaware State record in the Philadelphia Distance Run last weekend. Master Baster was accused of shying away from River Park guards for fear of being arrested.
And the auto hashing Bastard Child was fingered for something relating to Beer Sucks, who wields a mighty whip. Some Einstein accused Crusty Calves and Thunder Thighs for wearing matching outfits, even though they wore different colors, tops, and shorts. That last accusation was also leveled at Scooby Snatch for no particular reason (not that there was a good reason for the accusation in the first place).
In the end, half the mob was in the dock, doing down downs. It was a dark night indeed.
Crusty Calves announced she’s co-haring the Liberty Bell hash in three days. Bastard Child announced the BFM’s Jailbait hash will occur in seven days. F.L. Thong reminded everyone that the DC Red Dress Run is next weekend, and Cause for Blindness reminded everyone to attend the next PA Interhash, which will be hosted by the Harrisburg Hershey HHH, in two years.
On On.
Denouncements:
Jailbait hash - Thursday 30 September 2004, 7.5p Stay tooned for where…
Filed Under Trash |
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
