BFM #35
Posted on October 21, 2004
21 October 2004: Tonight Just Scott pulled the short straw, and took off from The Blarney Stone, 34th and Sansom. Scott ran fast, like a twisting and turning magic bullet, dropping flour carefully colored orange near every sharp turn, little known path, and hidden pond all across the campus terrain in University City.
Shaved head forward, the only thing stopping him was atmospheric resistance – and, eventually - Wolfman Jackoff, who once again caught the hare, making Just Scott another notch in Wolfman’s pelt, placing Just Scott unfortunately in the company of the reprehensible character of Sloppy Seconds, who’s ass Wolfman snagged some weeks before. It beginning to seem that, sooner or later, the Wolfman will get you.
Since Wolfman won’t hare in the city, the flour went to Just Mitch, who was the next to reach Just Scott after the Wolfman. Just Mitch confessed to no sense of direction, and Just Katherine stepped forward to guide his wayward ass. The Mob gave them barely three minutes before chasing after. All around students were going and coming from class. One of them asked Master Baster why he wasn’t home studying. Master Baster grumbled something that was not academic in nature.
The new co-hares’ trail crossed into Just Scott’s prior trail, causing some confusion for the Mob. But the new co-hares marked new arrows next to Just Scott’s old checks, making following the new trail possible. Courteous bastids.
Throughout both trails, everyone ran like politicians after news cameras, maniacally sprinting to the end, doing about 2 miles in no more than 25 minutes. Enough flour remained to do it all over again, but the spirit to do it didn’t grab everyone, especially the people who were grabbing beer from the bar.
In the circle, a visitor from DC named Rear End Loader led the circle through a number of wholesome songs. As a result, there is some chance that the Blarney Stone will never allow the BFM to return.
On behalf of Cuntanamo, stationed in Guantanamo, Wolfman accused Just Scott of "beer supremacism" because, in a recent e-mail, Scott trashed Yeungling and glorified Spaten Optimator. Cuntanamo was vindicated because Wolfman forced Just Scott to down down a Yeungling pint. You could almost hear the "hoo-ah" coming up from Cuba.
Before breaking the circle, the Mob heard a number of announcments:
- Thursday 28 October is the BFM Halloween Hash, trail starts at McGillin’s, 131 Drury Street/7:30p
- Friday 29 October is the Full Moon Hash’s Halloween hash, trail starts at 1021 S. 46th Street, the home of Sternum & Rectum/7p
- Saturday 30 October is the Philadelphia Hash’s Halloween hash, trail starts at Krupa’s, 2701 Brown Street, Philadelphia/3p
- BFM Holiday Party Saturday 18 December, McGillin’s, 1-4p
And so it went, on on into the evening.
Filed Under Trash |
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