BFM #36
Posted on October 28, 2004
28 October 2004: On October 31 - the ancient Celtic New Year - Celts wore scary costumes to frighten away the spirits of the dead, who would come back to occupy the bodies of the living. A successful costume would drive away the spirits for another year.
That may have worked 3,000 years ago, but it sure didn’t work Thursday night, which is when the costumed bodies of the Ben Franklin Mob were taken over by the spirits of a long-dead circus freak show.
The Mob arrived at McGillin’s, which was still in a pre-10/31 mindset, dressed in costumes that were not meant to be scary, but were. Some of the costumes included a diaper-wearing medical patient, a self-animated puppet, a naughty fairy tale character, a Playboy bunny, a pregnant nun, a Playboy magazine-wielding priest, a flighty Disney character, a cowgirl, the Indian from the Village People, a Sumo wrestler, walking beers, a flapper, a demon, various medical personnel, and a truly disturbing topless Winkie.
Winkie laid trail live once again, skipping off from McGillin’s like a giant three year old. Five minutes later the rest of this carnival of the bizarre left in hot pursuit, traipsing through Center City Philadelphia, getting cheers and horn honks from innocent passersby. The police even helped some wayward mobbers, directing them which way “the naked guy” was running. Dancing Fool was seen taking off after the Mob down Drury Street, though he was never seen again.
One by one the costumes returned to McGillin’s, in various states of disarray. Just Heather had a wardrobe malfunction on trail, making her thankful she was wearing a jacket. Slowly the Mob crept to a darkened room upstairs to engage in the mysterious and menacing ritual known as “The Circle.” Wolfman Jackoff, on this of all nights, was not present (the bastid), so Winkie did the dishonors.
At Your Cervix and Gag Reflex, in from the victorious Bean Town, were welcomed as visitors. Three scrubs-wearing lovelies were welcomed as virgins, and one of them was accused of wearing new sneakers. Song Meister Scooby Snatch led the Mob through a rousing “Happy Birthday Fuck You” for Just Tyler. There were auto hashers, accusations, and two namings.
A red-hooded Just Brianna had been calling herself “Li’l Red Riding Ho’” all night, but the Mob decided to make her name a little more direct, dubbing her instead, “Li’l Red Riding Wood.” The wardrobe malfunctioning Just Heather, who all night was selling “kisses and blows” (turned out to be Blow Pops, dammit), was this night named, “Cheap Show.”
It was another altogether deep mob night. The spirits of the long-dead freak show had a great time.
On on.
Denouncements:
- Friday 29 October is the Full Moon Hash’s Halloween hash, trail starts at 1021 S. 46th Street, the home of Sternum & Rectum/7p
- Saturday 30 October is the Philadelphia Hash’s Halloween hash, trail starts at Krupa’s, 2701 Brown Street, Philadelphia/3p
- BFM Holiday Party Saturday 18 December, McGillin’s, 1-4p
- Sometime next Summer: Cousin It’s Phillies Taligate Party
Filed Under Trash |
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