BFM #42
Posted on December 9, 2004
9 December 2004: The rain didn’t go away, nor did the Mob. One-by-one mobbers trudged in from the all-day downpour to McGlinchey’s - 15th Street near Spruce - and kept company with the artists, drunks, and assorted freaks inside. It’s a bar with character, loaded with characters.
As is the Mob. The convalescing Bums’ Urine, presaging the next goatee craze, was there, as was She Man, who, along with Deep Flute, unfortunately for the Mob, will be moving to New Yawk State in mid-January.
Tonight there were two birthday babes: Rash and Oral Offender. Scooby Snatch and Master Baster, two chronic FRBs, made a return engagement. Mob stalwarts, Little Fucking Winkie, Wolfman Jackoff, and Cause for Blindness, were present. Cunting Season came. Strap On came, too, but only after the short straw was drawn.
It was Cunting Season who drew it. She’s never done that before with the BFM, so this was her virgin BFM hare. There’s no question that she’s trouble, and when Rash volunteered to co-hare, it was nothin’ but double trouble. They scrammed with the flour and before long the Mob followed.
The rain outside was steady, but the orange-colored flour withstood the onslaught. South of the bar an orange check sent the Mob in two directions, with separate FRBs calling "On on" from different sides of the same block. Wolfman called it a "split trail," and the Mob split, following two doubly troubly trails.
At the far diagonal corner of the block the Mob regrouped on trail, as the hares probably did minutes before, and together the Mob went forward. Even the chronically DFL-ing Cause for Blindness was in and among the mix. Trail wended through alleys and side streets, taking the Mob further and further from the warm bar and cold beer.
After about 25 minutes of this, it was meathead hour, as by now anyone with sense had dropped out and returned for shelter from the cold and the rain. The Burger King refugees who remained outside included Master Baster, Scooby Snatch, Strap On, Wolfman, your correspondent, and Cause for Blindness. This merry band of imbeciles chased trail, always heading eastward, always expecting any moment for the trail to head back west toward the bar.
Nope. Trail kept heading east. The co-hares, a real brain-trust, laid trail as far east as Sixth Street - near Chestnut, directly across the street from a little known building called independence hall. Fortunately, at that point, they were careful to place small dollops of flour in locations that were visible only to those who were looking. From there trail hooked through Washington Square and, finally, back west to the bar.
Back at the bar there were auto hashers, who, given the weather, had exercised the best judgment of anyone who came out tonight. They included E=MC2, Skin Fiddle, Sticky Fingers, Tastes Like Chicken, and a dude named Craig, who was also a visiting guest.
Rash collected cash, and the Mob moved to a corner area for the circle. This just happened to be the exact area of this bar where the Mob convened on April Fool’s Day 2004, which saw the virgin hare of another mobber, the beerly departed Cuntanamo Bay.
The co-hares were fairly ridiculed for the trail. Auto hashers drank next, but Winkie, who hadn’t run and was therefore thrown in with this lot, forgot to remove his hat. So he was next thrown in with the birthday babes, who were treated to a stirring rendition of, "Happy Birthday Fuck You." Cunting Season got off easy because her co-hare had to do a birthday down down, and no one invoked the ‘when one hare drinks’ rule on her. Damn. Just Craig did a down down, and the co-hares suffered an accusation for laying trail near Independence Hall.
Rash invited the Mob to the Philly Hash this Saturday, which will begin at 3pm near Penn’s Landing, and which she and Little Fucking Winkie will be haring. Details here. Then on Sunday at 3pm Bastard Child and Beer Sucks will be co-haring for the Liberty Bell Hash in the burbs - the location is posted on the listserv.
And that was the way it was.
On on, yffs.
Filed Under Trash |
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
