BFM #45
Posted on December 30, 2004
30 December 2004: In the waning hours of 2004, 19:30 hours 30 December to be exact, faithful Ben Franklin Mobsters met at Manny Brown’s at 5th and South, in anticipation of a quick trail and $1.50 pints of lager to begin the New Year’s weekend celebrations. Grand F*cking Winkie and the ravishing Rash were entertaining themselves with Savage Love … in the City Paper when I arrived - on time due to a sweet space on South. Lunar Digit arrived, then Dances with Bum’s Urine and Wolfman J. and we moved our mugs to a booth in the back, awaiting the rest of the throng. They came in ones and twos until a quorum was announced and straws were chosen. For once, Winkie went first without wieldin the worst. It was I who plucked the sucker. Winkie again offered a 10-minute (who said) head start to which E=My Cock^2 replied "Give her two and a half minutes, then let’s have a real hare." (Okay, which is scarier, Cause with flour, or E? On South Street. In the dark.) Armed with several pounds of flour, the hare made her hasty exit into the night.
Trail led the pack north for a while, with Rash finding the orange mounds, through parking lots and alleystreets. While the hare pondered how soon to just get back to the bar, she left checks and marks zig-zagging a trail east, eventually to Front street, past Penn’s Landing, to Delancey or Pine, through a small quiet park, back to South around 3rd and back in, arriving unaccosted by man or beast. (Yes! 2 for 2!) Cheap Show was still guarding our belongings, now accompanied by Virgin Ashley * and the ever-auto-hashing Just Tyler. Skin Fiddle arrived safely after the start and joined the happy little crowd.
It wasn’t long before I’m Cumming led the riff-raff On In, with Tastes Like Chicken, Rash, Winkie, Wolfman, Strap-On, C*nting Season, Nut Cruncher, She Man, Tongue Twister … in fact, the whole pack returned pretty much together. The FRB’s admitted to losing trail on Front Street, while the DFL’s followed it All the Way. Cash was collected and the next order of business commenced in earnest (The Beer). E led the circle for some reason, dishonoring the Hare first then the others guilty of crimes real and imagined. I’m Cumming and Just Virgin Liz drank as first and last in. Liz drank again as a virgin, with aforementioned-Ashley and Just Kevin, who came with I’m Cumming. So to speak. Kevin drank again with Tyler, Winkie, Cheap Show, Ashley and any other auto-hashers. The Hare drank again for supposedly conserving flour on trail, along with other accusees for, um, something or other. After the circle was closed with the bidding of Peace/Piece, we attempted to — get this — buy beer! Waitstaff wiggled past us with food and drink for the other patrons, but not one offered us service. Therefore, the thirsty crowd ventured up the street to Cheers, where we were welcomed with open pitchers. Wishboneher made a late appearance there. The revelry continued into the wee hours, anticipating the next chance to celebrate the holidays.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it. If your’s differs, see the note * below.
Belatedly submitted,
Your first vice Correspondent,
Cause for Blindness
Happy Nude Year!
* At least, I think that’s her name. You really expect me to remember everything now???
Filed Under Trash |
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