BFM #59 - Like a Virgin
Posted on April 7, 2005
7 April 2005:It was like dËj· vu (all over again ©). The BFM has now totally bonded with the Schuylkill River/Art Museum area, with the Mob meeting for the third time in the same vicinity. This week The Cherry Street Tavern was subjected to our antics. Pound it In, Tinkerbell, Rash, Cheep Show, and Tongue Twister were loitering on the corner awaiting the Mob; it was much more pleasant outside than inside, beer notwithstanding (or sitting). Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck? and Cause for Blindness arrived about 7:50. See Me, Hear Me, Shush Me brought a repeat virgin, Nancy, (she had done a Philly Hash months ago), E=My Cock Squared and Strap On (aka Midget) arrived next, hand in hand. Rash counted up the bodies and gathered the straws, with Oral Offender arriving in time to pick a short one. Tongue Twister accompanied her and, eventually, the pair collected the flour pouch and headed east, with the chatty hashers looking on.
Within 3 or 4 minutes the min-horde was bored, and, on Rash’s command, set out in search of orange flour, with Nice Shoes etc. in tow. (Yes, that means On Trail!) Soon Pound it In found it in a nearby street/alley heading north, and we were off. But, trail led only 2 blocks before the virgin hare pair began their shenanigans. The pack spread out in search of more marks (not that there was a check, mind you, just a lack o’ flour). Failing in the mission we scattered back to Cherry Street in search again. Nancy tried a southbound alleyway, spotted spots, and shouted the news. We found one, two, three marks - I bellowed On-On and blew mightily on the Special Whistle, but no one followed us. A check and one more mark were noted and then ……………………………………………… Up one side, and down the other, down stairways, pathways, big streets, narrow streets. There were no more marks. Let’s check the last known direction of the pack, we agreed, making our inevitable way towards the BF Parkway, and the now-too-familiar Franklin Institute. Finding nothing we tried other directions, checking and reconnoitering. I told her my 15-minute rule: If it’s been at least 15 minutes since I’ve seen the pack, it’s time to head back to the bar. I thought we had a better chance of catching the hares than the pack. When we passed the Tavern, I was sure I spied N. Shoes and Pound Puppy at the bar. Still we searched for clues. Somewhere along 21st street I found a GIGANTIC ON-IN pointing back to the bar, and followed an abundance of marks that had not been there minutes before. I whistled for Just Nancy and ran to the bar, to find the sweaty hares resting st the entrance. Inside, Winkie and Shoes were deep in conversation, while Pound it In manned the water pitchers. Slowly the pack arrived, each having done their own private trail. Tinkerbell took hash cash and commenced the pitcher commerce. I complained to Tongue Twister that "you can’t set a check on a false trail," so he took JN and CfB on a little tour of that southbound alleyway. It took a lot of looking, but he did find some marks there, swearing it was true trail. Pound it In wanted some photographic evidence of marks, so we showed him the few, the proud … the playground.
Back at the Bar we found Skin Fiddle *teasing* Mr. Wanna F*ck about the ways of metal detectors, in reference to a tense moment or two during the E=MC^2 strip club road trip for men. After downing several pitchers of light and lager, we were summoned to Circle Up. Rather than asking how we liked trail (What trail??!!??) E enlightened us thusly.
If the hares have more flour when the get back than they left with, It Might Be a Shitty Trail.
If there are more marks from the ON IN to the bar than on the trail, It Might Be a Shitty Trail.
If there are more marks from last weeks trail than tonight, It Might Be a Shitty Trail.
If there are more people and more pitchers in the circle than marks, It Might Be a Shitty Trail.
Let’s just say It Might Have Been a Shitty Trail. Oral Offender and Tongue Twister had their day in circle. First and Last In? Since no one had actually done the trail, Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck stood in as First In, having been first to wise up and get back to the beer when trail was, er, misplaced. As I recall, the hares drank as last in, being the last to do the trail. Winkie and Skin Fiddle came forward as autohashers - minus the usual suspect NS,WF?, who had, "run" trail. The intrepid Just Nancy was next up as a BFM virgin (…Shush Me made her come). Then Tongue Twister accused the "Trail Jury" - pointing (with elbow as is proper) Moi of falsly accusing him of falsing without permission. Winkie called him on "Cause can’t make accusations" when it was pointed out that it was TT making the accusation. (Mister Twister tried the "this was the first time haring for both of us" disclaimer, but still had to take the rap for the "trail") E called Winkie in for false accusation. But wait, when one hare drinks, all hares drink, so Oral Offender was invited in. Then, when one Vet(eran) drinks, all Vets drink - but Winkie already in the circle. Eventually we had our general accused down-down. Enough already.
Announcements:
Stinko de Mayo - the Harrisburg/Hershey Hash Extravaganza - is May 6, 7, & 8. Friday night will honor "No Pants Day." Bring your own boxers and bathrobe. Rash wants all intended attendees to contact her so the BFM can have a theme tent for the Friday night Camp Crawl.
There will be a Fool Moon Hash on April 22, hared by Cause and Nice Shoes, at McGillin’s.
So there you have it. The Ben Franklin Mob lives to hash another day.
Cause
Filed Under Trash |
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