BFM #60 - Taking it E-sy

Posted on April 14, 2005

14 April 2005 Ministry of (dis)Information. Cast of characters:

When the Mobsters were assembling outside the venue, our oh-so-Grand Matress advised: "Oh, before we draw straws, the bar doesn’t have pitchers and the best deal for beer is Colt 45’s for $2.50. Let’s take a vote." (The "stays" had it, but I’d demand a recount.)

This did not bode well. (and if you’re gonna bode, ya better do it well)

As a farewell bachelor performance, E apprehended the short straw and set off to confound the hounds.

The pack stayed together thanks to well-done checks, but early on *one of us* decided she had done enough r*nning for the evening and we - Cheep Show and Cause - reversed course back to the bar, where we found NS,WF*ck keeping the locals company. Winkie was there and before long the hare appeared, empty-handed. For a description of the real trail, I turn things over to my faithful assistant, Pound it In.

My notes on the trail:

a X-check right outside the pub. One leg of it resolved False within twenty yards. Alleyway further on showed trail which lead to 4th St. Good usage of X-checks, a couple more Falses, trail was generally well-marked. Total length approx. 3.5 miles, estimated, including checks and falses. Trail time estimated at just over an hour. One check-back just west of Delaware Av, 11 marks. Trail resumed down 2nd St and went through the sleepy industrial district (the industries are asleep; thank the economy for that) for a generally on-inward path marked alternately in chalk arrows and trail powder, with a few hare-ball marks. Trail covered two ZIP codes in Fishtown and Northern Liberties, much of it within three blocks of Girard Av. Very few streets in that area are truly parallel or perpendicular to each other; trail led down many diagonal streets and alleys. Given that E=MC^2 is a perennial racist and overachiever, I think that five minutes of lead time was a bit too much for him. He could’ve left us in the weeds even if we had given him only two minutes. The fact that the trail was well marked is a redeeming consideration, however. When E=MC^2 returned the hare bag, it was lighter by two sticks of chalk, had NO flour in it and was missing one hare-ball. Note to hares: that’s the way to do it. Coming back with too much kit is certain to get you thrown in the dock.

Commentary: the pack tended to loiter at X-Checks, waiting for others to solve them. This could’ve been because the neighborhood isn’t all that much of a great place to be running around at 9:00 PM. Call-outs for "R.U." were usually answered for the affirmative, though not always for the negative. More than once, wayward hounds on check missed the "on-one" or "on-on" to return them to the pack. Generally, the pack remained cohesive and in good spirits. Trail was clear but long, so the whingers who bitched about an unusually long trail were shushed by those of us who actually enjoy a good run on a clearly marked trail.

I held the lead for the first two miles of trail, spotting mark easily and whistling for the crew to follow. Judging by the echoes, the sound of a whistle carries farther than a shout. We might as a crew seriously consider stronger usage of whistles. Toward the middle of the trail, the pack was wearing down a bit (but for Tink, Twister and Ms Sausage, seasoned runners all) so the laggers had a chance to keep up with the leaders in the end. Our visitors, Tip[/s?] and just <!–forgot–>, kept up at a steady jog throughout.

More than once on trail, we heard passersby shout "on on!" as we ran past. Others shouted "Free beer?!" as we passed them, but upon later investigation, this was a response to the following dialogue, around 3rd and Girard:

civ: "Why are you guys running?"
Twister: "Free beer!"
civ: "Free beer?!"


(Ed. to Tongue Twister et al.: NEVER mention the term "Free" - the correct answer to that question is the succinct "Beer". The phrase you used is tantamount to an invitation for a crowd of rowdy roustabouts to follow us, and who knows where they’ve been.)

Rituals and aquisations:

Our reliable RA, E=MC^2 convened the circle in a nearby alley, armed with 40’s of some sudsy substances. Down-downs were administered as follows:

In the concern for Equal(s) time, the Hare offered these tips (lower case "t") on

How to tell if it’s a good trail:

To be fair (?) since I’ve lost my notes, I forget them all, and E probably didn’t repeat his self-congratulation quite that often.

E=MC^2 announced that he would miss the next 2 hashes, so stay tuned to find out who the Understudy is.

On-oN

Cause for Belatedness, again

Filed Under Trash |

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