BFM #73 - Deja Vu All Over Again
Posted on July 15, 2005
14 July 2005: The Mob returned to University City for its weekly festivities. Cheep Show, Stacks, and a miraculously healed Pound it In were guarding the entrance to the bar, keeping out the Riff Raff. 
Hold the Sausage, Fur Snatcher, and … no new virgin, joined the small throng from stage right while Can You Hear Me Now? and Tinkerbell entered from stage left. Just Pete and Mary F*cking Poppins popped out of the Blarney Stone. Mrs. and Mr. Strap On arrived, followed by Dancing Fool. Rash went to grab straws and pry Skin Fiddle from the Phillie’s game. As the Luck O’ the Irish would have it, Cause for Blabber, Blindess, drew the short one. Beer Sucks and Bastard Child arrived just in time to r*n, or not r*n. Within minutes the repeat hare was off while the hounds watched every step, including the first check.
After that trail wound through alleyways, parking lots, and the well-groomed grounds of an eye clinic and a Presbyterian Hospital. I headed north and east and … oops, a rush of wind and POUNCE! "NO!" I cried, "I can’t give you the flour!" But there was no choice and E=MC^2 took the bag and my chance for another short trail. Within minutes Bastard Child was chasing after the un-hare, and we were checking for E’s trail. Soon enough the rest of the pack was on the scent and the trail resumed. "Stay away from the campuses," I had been warned, "the campus police are jumpy." The local gen d’armes were curious as well. When a patrol occifer asked what we were doing, Dancing Fool helpfully (?) informed her that we were "Runners Against Trash," which somehow didn’t quite cut it, but Rash’s explanation did, so we averted arrest and arraignment. Trail continued zigging and zagging east and north until, at 32nd and Powelltown, I decided to abandon the pack and head back to the bar, power walking through the Drexel Campus, accompanied by the ever chivalrous Mr. Fool.
$5.00 cover charge gets you a plastic cup and entitles you to twenty five cent beers. Or lots of pitchers. Circle was convEned on the pool level, with the hares doing first honors. Then, because there were no virgins, everyone without a name was call into the circle. Just Pete, being the only one eligible, drank alone. Skin Fiddle, being the first intelligent shortcutter, was First In, and Bastard Child, being a bleeding heart, was Last In, and they drank next. Rumor has it that MFP and Ms. Stacks unraced to the finish first of those who actually did the whole trail. Accusations were solicited for violations and your humble scribe was called in for having last week’s trash posted before the trail. Too late, too soon, there’s just no pleasing some people. Sheesh. Strap On was given a Newlywed Game accusation of false prophecy by claiming that E would not set marks through the parking lot. And Bastard Child was charged for buying candy from some wide-eyed waifs, making himself late to the finish. But the ceremonies were not over, and someone was due to drink again. Yes, boys and girls, there was another naming. First, Ms. Sausage and Ms. Snatcher regaled us with a tale of Salsa and Just Pete, and a bevy of beauties witnessed last Friday, which prompted the suggestion of "The Gay Friend." Then E mentioned difference of opinion with the unnamed, on whether or not Shaving Ryan’s Privates counts as Porn. Pornasaur, Vaginasaurus, and Vagasaurus were added to the list. Since Pete hails from Cleveland, Bastard offered Cleveland Steamer, and, of course, Rash piped up with Stunt Dick Double. But the clear winner was none of these. By acclamation and baptism, Just Pete will be known in the Ben Franklin Mob, and all of hashdom as: Dancing Queen
Having had enough fun for one evening, the BFM Reading Circle left, Brothel and Geisha in tow, and Harry Potter bated breath. Conversation, commeraderie and 50-cent margaritas continued until near 11:00 when the locals stormed the place and most of us oldsters called it a night.
Convivially,
Cause for Blindness
Overheard:
"Where are my pants?"
Announcements
Two weeks until the BFM Prom Hash (#75) Be formal, be festive, practice running in your favorite red dress. We return to the friendly venue Ray’s (Happy Birthday) Bar.
Cheep Show and Just Tim invite the BFM to their home in Wilmington, DE, on Saturday, July 30th for a "Please help us drink our alcohol" party. Before they move to Florida they must reduce their inventory to fit into one or two boxes. Heather promises food and a place to puke, er, crash.
Cousin It’s Annual Phillies Tailgate Hash will be Satruday, August 20, against the Pirates.
Wachovia Center Parking Lot C-2, Broad and Pattison, Philadelphia
Tix - $20
Tailgaite - $10
RSVP Cousin It
Speaking of Red Dresses, it’s time to register for the 12th Annual DC Red Dress Run before the August 1 price increase. A new venue and trails this year. Hotel Harrington is the Hash hotel. The event is 1 October 2005 and the DC Full Moon Pre-Lewd Lingerie Run is Friday, 30 September.
http://dchashing.com/dcreddress/
Filed Under Trash |
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