BFM #82 - the Mob takes Saint Jack’s yet again
Posted on September 15, 2005
Olde City: For the 82nd time in this city’s history, the Ben Franklin Mob Hash House Harriers met for their weekly sport, this time at Saint Jack’s, a bar which has seen the Mob twice before this night, and was once graced by the presence of Philadelphia HHH’s hunting horn.
Appearing for the weekly r-n were club regulars Little F–king Winkie, Pound it In, Dancing Queen, mismanager Rash, resident expat Tinkerbell, aspiring greyhound Hold the Sausage, and chaplain E=MyCock2 and Strap-On, as well as returning rookies just Eric and Dave, joined by Dave’s new boot, just Jerel, who hails from Temple University via Norway. Also joining the Mob was Big Tackle from Philadelphia HHH.
Rash offered the straws for the night’s draw, and the first straw from her hand went to Pound it In, who left immediately to lay trail across Olde City and downtown, venturing through the fringe of Chinatown and precariously close to the Historical District and the US Mint, where Wolfman Jackoff was accosted by federal police last year. Trail went past the Gallery and Jefferson University Hospital, looped around the southern border of Olde City and returned to the A-point in just over two and a quarter miles.
The trail was rich with checks, and even two falses, but also had the rarely-used snail check mark, used only by Mr In in the history of the Mob. The snail check, however, was routinely disregarded.
"Nobody pays any mind to those," said Tinkerbell, adding that use of such a mark is "cheating" by giving an unfair time advantage to the hare.
"S–tty trail."
As the hounds returned to the club and quaffed their after-trail iced waters and beers, Mr MyCock2 called the circle to order, asking the kennel to judge the night’s trail. All present agreed that it was s–tty, and the hare was appropriately toasted. Rookie just Jerel was introduced to the club, and was abruptly corrected on his circle etiquette by E.
By her own account, Tinkerbell was first to finish trail, though when made to answer for it, she denied and said that E was first in. Dancing Queen was acknowledged as last to finish trail, and Ms Sausage admitted that she had lost trail and returned early. All took their song and pints without complaint.
Rash was also made to answer for posting local race events to the group’s listserv, and reminded once again that the Mob is not an athletic club per se.
Cause for Blindness was accused in absentia for not publishing trash for several weeks. In her stead, Pound it In took the accusation.
Immediately thereafter, the Mob acccused E of "losing control of the Circle" and forced him to take a down-down for his lack of applied managerial skill.
| "Most Frequently Bagged" Hare Eludes Capture
Pound it In, a hasher known for having been bagged three times as hare, actually laid over two miles of trail on Thursday evening, and made it on-in well ahead of the hounds. |
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The last time Mr In hared for the Mob, hash #81 out of the Dive, he was captured a scant quarter-mile from the pub by repeat hare-wolf E=MyCock2, yet he was able to reclaim the bag — and haredom, briefly — as Mr MyCock2 drew an "On-in" yet laid a "true trail" arrow away from the pub. E himself was snagged and reluctantly surrendered the flour as Pound it chalked the path to the pub.
"Not a Fix." |
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Autohashers accused and made to drink
Joining the Mob, without actually running the trail, were several club ‘regulars,’ some of whom are notorious for repeat offenses of autohashing.
 Lunar Digit |
Standing accused on this evening were Lunar Digit, perennial offender Skin Fiddle, Self Service, and Sly Fox. Unusual for his appearance in this perp walk is former on-sec Can You Hear Me Now, a seasoned runner.
Also accused of hashus interruptus as well as autohashing, was Virgin Pimp, who had not been seen by the club "in recent memory." However, the quality of the club’s collective memory was necessarily called into question. |
Virgin Pimp=
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Hariette hosts Katrina charity sale
Dr Sly Fox, also an amateur jeweler, is hosting a charity sale of her hand-crafted jewelry this weeekend in Manayunk.
| The event will be held at the Bayou at 4245 Main Street on Sunday September 18. Dr Fox pledges to donate the revenue from the sales to the relief efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Items offered for sale include skillffully wrought bead bangles and necklaces. |  |
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Dr Fox reminds attending Mobsters that beads will not be donated ‘on the option.’
Filed Under Trash |
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