BFM #85 - Oh, The Horror
Posted on October 6, 2005
6 September 2005: You know what I really like? Horror movies. Which works well, because that turned out to be the theme of this week’s hash, which was sort of a horror movie, but with shiggy and a beer check and a lot of bitching.
T Hogans was overrun by hashers this Thursday night, starting with Just Fred from Mt Vernon H3, and followed by Rash, Dancing Queen, Tinkerbelle, Dancing Fool, Strap On, Just Jason, who didn’t start at the bar, but simply showed up on trail somewhere like Latecummer’s long lost brother, Just Eric, Just Mike, Just Greg, Just Liz (a virgin), the rarely seen Wolfman Jackoff, Skin Fiddle, Little F*cking Winkie, Thumbo Suave, Stacks, Can You Hear Me Now?, the also elusive Cunting Season, AND, most importantly the visting Sarah Cunter and Tongue Jury, who came all the way from San Diego just to see us. No body shots this time, though, so if that’s what you’re reading for, well, go find yourself some Jackie Collins or something.
Dancing Fool pulled the short straw this time, and with half a bag of orange flour, sprinted off into the night. The Mob followed five minutes later wandering out onto the dark streets of Manayunk. Suddenly, the few hashers who had bought flashlights went from being openly mocked in the bar ("What’s that on your forehead? A tumor? Bwahahahahaha") to revered ("um, can I run by you? It’s dark. And I’m scared.") The lesson here? It’s dark at night, bring a flashlight.
Trail wound up Ridge Ave before the Mob found itself in an empty parking lot, with trail that disappeared into the woods. Dark, lonely woods. With lots of shiggy. And here’s where the horror movie references started, finally culminating in Skin Fiddle’s observation that if this really was a horror movie, we’d all be killed because there were no virgins around. (Unless my mother is reading this, in which case, everyone else would die, but I’d be ok. Hi Mom!)
Finally, the Mob found their way out the shiggy and bounded through a stranger’s backyard and onto Houghton St. After a few turns, the Mob found the hare, or rather he found the Mob, in order to direct us to the beer check. A relaxing few minutes was spent the porch of Just Kevin, a hasher from Baltimore, while our intrepid hare ran off to lay more trail. Beers finished, the Mob followed. Trail finally wound downhill, past where that colony of hermits lived, and then a lone splash of orange marked a dark path into the woods next to the opera house, kind of like the path to the house in Evil Dead. After a lot of aimless wandering, the Mob finally discovered the trail, now marked with toilet paper. Down the hill, and then along the path next to whatever stream that is, orange flour marked the trail until a lone tennis ball sat at the bottom of the Hundred Steps, as if the hare had been eaten by a terrible monster and that was all that was left. Confused, some hashers climbed the steps and returned to the bar, others climbed the steps, didn’t see trail, went back down and then ran back to the bar, and some skipped the steps and went back to the bar. Which was really the right thing to do.
Aaaaaannnnd, the circle:
Hare
Winkie drank in place of Dancing Fool
Virgins
Just Mike made Just Liz come, and Sly Fox made Just Todd come (nice job, everybody)
First In/Last In
FRB Just Fred and DFL Winkie
Autohashers
Bastard Child (get a haircut, you hippie), Beers Sucks, Just Bill, and Sly Fox
Long-time No-seers
Sarah Cunter, Bastard Child, Beers Sucks
Visitors
Tongue Jury – who told a really dirty joke about a prostitute and bar stool that she heard from her mom.
And Finally, Violations!
For getting engaged – Sarah Cunter and Tongue Jury, Bastard Child and Beers Sucks. Congratulations!
Upcumming Events
October 15 - Philly H3 #1451 hared by CYHMN?, Stacks, and Meat Tenderized
October 27 – BFM Halloween Costume Run, location TBA
October 28 - Philly Full Moon Halloween Costume Hash, Hare: Sternum and Rectum; Location: University City-ish
November 13 – Philly Rollergirls (our waitress from McGillin’s is on the team) exhibition bout in Camden, 6pm, open skate to follow.
On On,
Rash
Filed Under Trash |
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