BFM #86 - Clothing Optional
Posted on October 13, 2005
13 October 2005 - So, for all of you weenies who elected to skip the hash this week, here’s how to re-enact it in your very own home. First, put on your hash clothes, shoes and all. Second, turn the lights off in your bathroom, get in the shower, turn it on, and let the water (cool, but not cold) run for 30 minutes. Maybe jog in place a little bit if you want. Finally, get out of the shower and go walk around a neighborhood bar in your wet underpants. Tada! The hash.
This week, the Mob gathered at Druid’s Keep in the Northern Liberties. It was a small group, but a good one. Bitchard was back in town, having left his wife in England. ("Bitchard! How are you! We haven’t seen you in ages!" "Great! I left Thunder in England!") Oh, she’s just vacationing, calm down. Also there were Little F*ckin’ Winkie, Skin Fiddle, Just Bill, Sly Fox, Rash, Just Fred, Hold the Sausage and Fur Snatcher, both of whom were also at the hash last week, even though the last trash doesn’t mention it (who writes this crap?), Just Kay (virgin!), Thumbo Suave, Tinkerbelle, E=My Cock Squared, and Strap On.
Thumbo was the first to embrace the theme of this week’s hash by asking, "Am I wearing running shorts, or just underwear?" as he was removing his track pants. Thank God he had on running shorts. Straws were drawn, and the lucky recipient this week was the still-pretty-new Just Bill. Sly Fox chivalrously volunteered to help him with trail, and off they went.
Five minutes later, the Mob poured out of the bar and into the rainy night. I’d love to tell you exactly where we went, but that particular neighborhood always confuses the hell out of me. So, there were a lot of highway overpasses, and dark alleys, and it rained really hard and then we passed Dave and Busters and looped back around to the bar, all the while following a trail marked with little melty clumps of orange flour.
Back at the bar, dripping hashers stood around in various stages of undress, while the bartender looked on completely unfazed, as if wet naked people were totally common occurrence around there. And if that’s the case, I’ve been going to the wrong bars. Anyway, while there was a large, coed group of hashers (too many to mention, really) hanging around topless as they wrung out their shirts, the high point of the evening was Winkie strolling around the back room in underpants, running shoes, and nothing else. No, wait, I take that back. The high point of the evening was the expression on the face of the innocent bystander in the back room who was trying to play a quiet game of pool while Winkie was showing off his goods. It was this hilarious combination of "What the f*ck?" and that way you ignore crazy people on the train platform who are muttering to themselves while brandishing a toilet wand. He left right quick after that, the innocent bystander, and missed the Mob’s circle.
Right, the circle! This week, run by RA E=My Cock Squared:
For not providing good weather
E=My Cock Squared
Virgin Hare
Just Bill, assisted by Sly Fox
Virgin Virgin
Just Kay, who came with Hold the Sausage
Autohasher
Just Joe, aka Kayak Joe, aka Beaker, who did the same down down five times (just…don’t ask)
First In/ Last In
E = My Cock Squared
Fur Snatcher
Violations
Rash (forgetting Fur Snatcher and Hold the Sausage in the previous trash)
Just Joe, aka Kayak Joe, aka Beaker, for that horrible previous down down
Just Kay, for wearing a race t-shirt, and Hold the Sausage for not telling her not to wear a race t-shirt
Bitchard, for changing into a dry race t-shirt
And finally, Just Jason rolled in incredibly late (maybe Boston H3 is in a different time zone?) and missed the circle, but brought a potential new hasher with him, so it’s ok.
Upcumming events
November 13 –Philly Rollergirls (our waitress from McGillin’s is on the team) exhibition bout in Camden, 6pm, open skate to follow.
January 19th, 2006 - BFM 100th Hash. Email or talk to Rash or E = My Cock Squared if you have any wild ideas.
Filed Under Trash |
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