BFM #89 - Wild Kingdom
Posted on November 3, 2005
3 November 2005 This week’s hash began with the Mob gathering outside Kelliann’s. Why outside, you ask? Because inside the back room of the bar was the Cockroach That Ate Pittsburgh. Seriously. This thing was ginormous, being described by various hashers as "That’s an eatin’ cockroach", "Oh, that’s just a Palmetto Bug," and "I don’t care if it’s a little baby Jesus, I want it out of here NOW." And then I got to tell the story about the time that my microwave got infested with roaches when I was living in Louisiana and how I had to take it apart and when I put it back together it worked. Tada.
Yeah, good story. Anyway, gathering outside the bar were the long-absent Nut Cruncher, Stacks, C*nting Season, Oral Oh, Rash, AKA, who hashes with Reading but lives in Bucks County, (wha?) a newly named Fellatio Hornblower (formerly Just Fred), Skin Fiddle, Thumbo Suave, Hold the Sausage and Fur Snatcher in MATCHING RACE T-SHIRTS, (oh yes, you WILL find them in the "Violations" section of the trash), a surprisingly on-time Strap On and E = My Cock Squared, Sly Fox, Just Jason, Little Red Riding Wood, and a long-time-not-seen Dances With Bum’s Urine.
Straws were duly presented and drawn, with Fellatio Hornblower the lucky recipient. "But I don’t live here and I don’t know the area!" he protested. Ha. Like that’s ever stopped any of us before. After helpful hints from Skin Fiddle about the neighborhood ("don’t run north"), he was off. Five minutes later, the Mob followed. Over to the Broad Street the Mob ran, through alleys, down Broad street, through a scary underpass, and then on towards the Convention Center. At some point, the trail went up through a parking garage — Just out of curiosity, did anyone else find that? — then back down Race or Arch to 13th. It was tough to tell if the Mob really all did true trail because Mr. Hornblower marked a good 75% of the trail using just checks AND because this night’s trail intersected last week’s trail. Nice. At the sign of a week-old false, the vast majority of the Mob gave up, and simply pretended to see marks and call "On On" until arriving back at the bar. And since the bar was only 3 blocks away, it was OK.
Back at the bar, various autohashers had arrived, most notably Dancing Queen and Tinkerbelle, who would have been on time had they not just spent 2 hours sitting on a SEPTA train just outside of 30th Street Station. Also trickling in during the circle were Little F*ckin Winkie and Self Service.
Speaking of the circle, this hash’s violators were:
Virgin Hare:
Fellatio Hornblower
Virgin Proxy (We didn’t have any virgins, so we used the freshest hasher we had):
Just Jason
First In/Last In:
Stacks, E=My Cock Squared
Long-Time-No-Seers:
Dances With Bum’s Urine, Nut Cruncher, AKA, Little Red Riding Wood
Birthday Boy!
Fellatio Hornblower
Overachieving Matching Race Shirt Wearers:
Hold the Sausage, Fur Snatcher
Overachieving Assclowns (Word keeps autocorrecting "Assclowns" to "As clowns." Does Microsoft see that problem a lot, do you think?) (By the way the next 15k trail race is November 27th):
Thumbo Suave, Rash
Autohashing:
Dancing Queen, Tinkerbelle, Self Service, Little F*ckin Winkie
Announcements:
November 12th Philly Hash hared by C*nting Season, Rash, and Thumbo Suave
November 13th Philly Rollergirls Exhibition Bout
December 3rd Philly AGM
January 19th BFM 100th Hash
And for a good time, anytime, call Jonny — the ladies bathroom wall at Kelliann’s gives his phone number and some very favorable reviews
On On,
(The) Rash
Filed Under Trash |
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