BFM #100 - Ben Franklin Milestone
Posted on January 19, 2006
19 January 2006 - PHILADELPHIA In one momentous week, Philadelphia celebrated the Ben Franklin 300th and the Ben Franklin Mob 100th Hash. Word spread far and wide as Rash and E=My Cock Squared planned The Festivities. An Eagle Trail, a Turkey Trail, A Walker Trail, A Shot Check, General Debauchery, and - it would go without saying, but I am going to say it, just ‘Cause - BEER!
The festive mob gathered in the back room of Cherry Street Tavern, awaiting the arrival of Cause for Blindness and Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck?. At least, that was when E rounded everyone up outside to explain the intricacies of the Eagle, Turkey, and Walker trails. Yours ever-so-truly, determined not be denied a shot check, r*n off after the Turkeys. It was simple to follow the pack westward on Cherry, to a parking lot near the overpass and the Mighty Schuylkill River. It was here that those pesky gremlins acted up, setting a trap to trip me. With a very loud "Oh, F*ck!" I hit the pavement, bruising both knees, my temple, my "in honor of Ben Franklin" bifocals, and leaving a small chunk of my right hand. A too-nice Dancing Queen came to my rescue, ascertained that I was relatively okay, and we headed off to resume trail. Thankfully, E=MC^2 found us, and clued me in that the trail didn’t split until the shot check at Federal, 2 miles away. Hmmm, I guess I don’t need to do the Turkey trail that badly. So, I rejoined the Walkers back at the bar. Li’l Red Riding Wood was there, with her sister, Lauren (?) and friends Chrystal and Sam, along with Skin Fiddle and a friendly bartender. Woundtender, too. We enjoyed our beer until it was time to saunter over to a parking garage opposite Hahnemann Hospital at Broad and Vine. There we found Self Service, Tastes Like Chicken, but no beer. Yet. Eventually the Turkeys waddled our way (Wing Nuts, in his Dipsh*t Pink PHHH cap was the waddlest. Sorry WN.) Rash had the beverages stowed in her car. Bastard Child, Big Tackle, Fur Snatcher, Hold the Sausage, Puff, Sly Fox, Snake Neck, Stacks, STD, Strap-on, Tickle My Elmo, Virgin Pimp, all drank, waiting for the Eagles to finish their pre-beer loop. Rash also had extra jello shots, which did not go to waste. As it got towards 9 PM, Nice Shoes called, relaying the Nice Bartender’s message wondering when we’d be back for the food. "There should be a group there now." was the answer, and several of us decided it really was time to go.
Food and Beer administered, it was time to Circle Up! The Esteemed Religious Advisor led the ceremony, calling various and sundry into the Circle to drink it down-down, down-down …
| The Hares: | E, Rash |
| First and Last In: | Cause, Thumbo Suave |
| Virgins: | Just Lauren, Just Krystal, Just Sam (Li’l Red Riding Wood) Just Amy and Jamie (Meat Tenderized) |
| Visitors: | Flounder (Harrisburg/Hershey HHH) |
| Autohashers: | Nice Shoes, Just Sean, Scooby Snatch |
| Violations | Cause - technology on trail |
(I’m sure y’all will write in to correct the above)
Then we had a Naming. Having hashed with the BFM for several weeks without doing anything overtly stupid and thus earning a name, Just Bill was called forth to correct the situation. We found out that he is a puppeteer. He may or may not have named the sheep as his favorite farm animal. Several monikers were proffered, including the perfunctory Stunt Dick Double and Take it Up the A** Like a Puppet. But the noisy mob made their choice clear, so therefore and herewith, Just Bill will be known in the BFM and all of hashdom as…
Can you remember? Can you guess? ? ? ? ? ? Puppet Fister.
Welcome Mister Fister.
*****THIS WEEK IS NEW MIS-MANAGEMENT NOMINATIONS******
Starting thinking NOW (yes, right now) who you want for each of the following positions. Or maybe you yourself want the sweet taste of "power." At any rate, there are three official positions in the BFM:
GM (Grand Master/Mistress/Mattress): In charge of choosing bars and making sure that flour and chalk get to the hash each week. Also conducts offical namings, arranges special events like prom runs or 100th hashes, and gets to tell other hashers what to do. (Not that they do it.) Deals with the authorities if necessary. No special skills needed.
RA (Religious Adviser): Runs the circle, leads songs, abuses people for violations. Loud voice, quick wit, and knowledge of songs a serious plus.
Hash Trash (Hash Trash): Writes up the events of each weeks’ hash to be posted on the website. Ability to read and write a plus. (N.B. Cause will still serve as Web Dom.. er Master)
Scooby Snatch
Thumbo Suave
Don’t forget, you too can mismanage this mob as well as we can. Nominate yourself!
Ever so humbly submitted,
Cause for Blindness
Filed Under Trash |
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