BFM #107 - Hashers Go Braugh
Posted on March 9, 2006
9 March 2006 – PHILADELPHIA The BFM descended upon South Street to kick off the 5th Anal St. Patty’s Day Green Dress Run festivities. Those of us who actually own and consult calendars on a regular basis might have noted that St. Patrick’s Day is actually observed on March 17th, one weekend later. Why did the hashers choose to celebrate this glorious holiday a week early, you ask? The official answer had something to do with a date conflict with vaguely important-sounding college basketball games. However, your humble scribe conjectures that the real reason is more along the lines of an attempt to get maximum mileage out of the “everyone is Irish (and therefore and alcoholic) on St. Patty’s Day” excuse by imbibing mass quantities of beer two weeks in a row.
The mob gathered at Tattooed Mom’s, a charmingly unassuming little establishment, to await the initial On-On. Or so I assume. I didn’t actually arrive until the pack had departed in search of the familiar (and in this case pre-laid) flour blobs. Fur Snatcher and I joined Self Service and Fiber Opdick, who had already claimed bumper cars and ordered brews upstairs. Moments later Skin Fiddle, Cunting Season, and Oral Oh! (bearing cake) filed in. In the case of Oral Oh!, carrying baked goods down South Street was enough to attract more attention than the bleached, dyed, tattooed, pierced, and otherwise “diverse” clientele. Note to self: labret = normal; birthday cake = freak. As the autohashers observed the locals to keep amused while waiting for the pack to return, Ms. Season began collecting hash cash.
Before the autohashers could figure out how to cause trouble, Rash sauntered in and reported she had lost trail. Note to all: deciding to cut one’s losses by getting a head start on the beer is usually the best decision. Soon Tinkerbell, Handjob, Tickle My Elmo, E=MyCock2, Big Tackle, and Just Mike returned from the trail. Rounding out the sweaty pack were Sly Fox, Jubal, Lil’ Red Riding Wood, Scooby Snatch, Strap On, Little F*cuking Winkie, and Cause for Blindness. E promptly recruited some helpers to create the table o’ beer, an unparalleled thing of beauty.
Before the mob could figure out how to cause more trouble, it was circle time. RA Scooby Snatch presided over the circle, introduced some new songs, and distributed the down-downs with typical BFM discretion.
Hare(s):
Cunting Season and Tastes Like Chicken (who had cleverly managed to flee the mob but cannot escape the trash) and Cause for Blindness (because when one GM drinks….)
Visitors:
Self-Service and Handjob (flimsy choices perhaps, but somebody needed to drink and nobody likes to drink alone)
First In/Last In:
Rash and Lil’ Red Riding Wood
**Immediately followed by**
Hat in the Circle:
Lil’ Red Riding Wood
Cums Lately:
Big Tackle and Fiber Opdick
Note to Fiber Opdick: if you claim to be a transplant, the mob will fabricate another reason to give you a down-down
Autohashers:
Fiber Opdick, Fur Snatcher, Hold the Sausage, Oral Oh!, Self-Service, Skin Fiddle
Accusations:
Oral Oh! for a hard copy of last week’s trash
Skin Fiddle for bringing bodily harm to Popeye’s Bitch
Tickle My Elmo, Sly Fox, Hold the Sausage, and Fur Snatcher for sitting on the couch
Announcements:
– Full Moon Hash on Friday
Note to all: if you wait for the trash to plan your social calendar, you probably spent Friday night at home with your cat….or your hand….or both….or whatever
– Carolina Interhash – talk to Fiber Opdick – he has info
– Register online for PA Interhash
– Some sort of R*ce in Reading – talk to an overachiever – we’ll call her Rash
On On,
Hold the Sausage
Filed Under Trash |
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