BFM #119 - Hot Wet Philadelphia Summer
Posted on June 1, 2006
1 June 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: So it’s not technically summer yet. But the temperature did top 80 degrees and there was precipitation. And who can argue with a subtle,
witty film reference? Okay, end of disclaimer.
The lightning bolts already flashing through the evening sky and the surprisingly accurate forecast of rain didn’t deter the BFM in gathering for its 119th trail at the New Wave Café. Tickle My Elmo, Stacks, Scooby Snatch, and self-appointed hare Oral Oh! were already enjoying brews when I arrived at the bar. Soon Can You Hear Me Now?, Cause for Blindness, E=MyCock², Little F*cking Winkie, Little Red Riding Wood, Rash, Sly Fox, and Strap On found their way to the bar, creating a conglomeration of hashers next to the waitress station and clearly pissing off the waitresses. After stowing our bags in Dry Hump’s Jeep, Oral Oh! headed out with her bag of the flour and the mob followed in pursuit several minutes later.
Perhaps our hare had carefully studied the trail-laying skills of the illustrious (albeit absent) Skin Fiddle. Or perhaps our hare was just efficient. Or perhaps I’m reading too much into this topic. Regardless, the entire trail managed to stay in about a 4 block radius of the bar. The pack was pleased to find a beer near mark on a quiet residential street and climbed a narrow stairway into the abode of Oral Oh! to enjoy a sweaty beer check. After huffing paint fumes (in a well ventilated area, of course) for the requisite amount of time, the mob trotted back downstairs to tackle the second leg of the trail. Soon we found ourselves back at the bar and managed to seek shelter and solace (and alcohol) inside the New Wave before the rain began.
The mob congregated in the back room and this time had to avoid pissing off the three guys with very long sticks. RA Scooby Snatch was coerced into starting the circle amid astute complaints that there wasn’t nearly enough beer for the down downs.
Hare:
Oral Oh! – who was accused of not enough marks/checks/nuggets among other offenses
First In/Last In:
E=MyCock² and Can You Hear Me Now?
Cums Lately:
Self Service – who protested that she wasn’t in town only to be informed, “that’s no excuse for not cumming!”
Autohasher:
Self Service – no protesting this time
Accusations Round 1:
Dry Hump – for stealing circle beer (though ironically this seems to have furthered his fiendish agenda by allotting him even more circle beer)
CYHMN? – for suggesting a song but not knowing the words
Oral Oh! – for not posting last week’s trash – and when one triple sec drinks….Rash and Hold the Sausage drink too
Accusations Round 2:
Rash – for racing on trail
Dry Hump – for trying to pants Rash thereby causing her to race on trail
Oral Oh! and Hold the Sausage – because making people drink by association makes everyone feel clever
Scooby Snatch – for being athletic on trail and hurdling over no less than 3 park benches
Announcements:
06/06/06 – 6-Hash Challenge: She Devil Hash – Strap On is the hare
06/15/06 - 3rd Annual BFM Prom
07/09/06 – BFM Readers Club – Self Service has the info
07/15/06 – Hashtille Day – register online, wankers
08/12/06 - Cousin It’s Annual Phillies tailgate
The circle was closed and the hash cash was soon depleted. One by one the mob dispersed into the night, certain to emerge in full force next week for another night of debauchery.
And now for the ever popular Overheard at the Hash section:
Harriette: She can pay for it one night, but she doesn’t have to pay for it every night.
Harriette: Fuck me, all of you.
Harrier: Me first!
Harrier1: It’s going to rain.
Harrier2: Actually, I’m looking forward to it. Stacks is wearing a white t-shirt.
Fat Chick: I want Rolling Rock. I don’t want a hangover.
Trashy Dude: Then don’t drink so much.
Fat Chick: But I want a hangover!
**after overhearing the hashers making fun of fat chick**
Older gentlemen on bike: Hey that was my wife!
Harrier: So sorry dude.
Harriette: And there’s another stick in my face.
On On,
Hold the Sausage
Filed Under Trash |
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