BFM #120 - Apocalypse? Not now.
Posted on June 8, 2006
8 June 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: As this was the week of 6/6/06, I was naturally on the lookout for any potential signs of the impending Apocalypse. The only thing I saw that *maybe* portended the end of civilization as we know it was during my train ride home, wherein I watched a very annoying woman get attacked by a giant flying cockroach. And then my train caught fire. (I’m not kidding.) So from this, I’d like to conclude that that when Death comes, at least for me, it will be riding neither a pale horse, nor a pale cow, but rather the R5 Paoli/Malvern Local.
So anyway, the hash on Thursday was huge! (Maybe a sign of the Apocalypse?) Lots of people showed up to the Cherry Street Tavern, including Delinkwent Oral Oh!, Skin Fiddle, Bumble Beaver (she left Boston, she’s now ours!) Rash, E = My Cock Squared, Sly Fox, Cribsnatcher, Just Wayne, a virgin brought by Dry Hump (who knew he had friends?) Yeswank, Gomez, Scooby Snatch, Hold the Sausage, Likes It Hot (a side note: Likes It Hot was the first person to tell me about the Mob when I first started hashing over two years ago. This was her FIRST time out with the BFM.) Bumper Humper, Lost Boy, Groper, Kazoo (from Hogstown H3 in Toronto), Handful of Cock, Spanky Avalon, Jubal, Stacks, She-Man, Deep Flute, Can You Hear Me Now? Cause for Blindness, Little Red Riding Wood, Just Jeanne, Just Jen, Just Matthew (virgin!), Hot Pants, and Tickle My Elmo.
Straws were pulled. Now, before straws were pulled, I explained to Spanky Avalon how this whole pick-up hash thingy worked. He immediately stated that he would be the one to get the short straw. And you know what? He did. So off he ran, with E = MC2 along to help. Five minutes later, the Mob followed, which was timed perfectly with a TORRENTIAL downpour, which always makes following trail exciting. The Mob wound through the streets to 30th Street Station and up Market Street to a mark that said “BC” and had a smudge of flour underneath. Serious discussion ensued: “It could be a 5. Or a 2.” “If you look at it this way, it looks like a 4.” “It could be a 6?” “F*ck.” Finally, the Mob decided that it might be a 5 and headed back toward the city the find more trail. I asked the hares afterward, and one said it was a 5, and the other said it was a 2, so your guess is as good as mine. At any rate, after a while, Sly Fox and I ended up doing trail backwards, picking up some lost hashers and arriving up back at the bar. Fifteen minutes later, everyone else arrived, except for Just Wayne, who Dry Hump had thoughtfully abandoned on trail.
Back at the bar, the Mob wrung itself out, ordered beers and gathered for the circle, run this week by RA Scooby Snatch. Violations were:
Hares: Spanky Avalon, E = My Cock Squared
Visitors: Too many to write down. You know who you are. (Although visitor Just Jeanne kept her hat on, and had to drink twice.)
First In/Last In: Rash, Dry Hump
Hashus Interruptus: Deep Flute, Just Jen
Autohashers: Self Service, Skin Fiddle, Delinkwent
Accusations:
Dry Hump, for losing his virgin on trail.
The entire Hockessin H3, for being a bunch of weenies afraid of rain.
And Dry Hump again for being so afraid of a girl finishing her down-down faster than him, he had to hold her drink down to get a head start.
Announcements:
June 15th: BFM 3rd Annual Prom Hash
July 15th: First Anal Hashtille Day D’Artathalon. SIGN UP, ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT A T-SHIRT.
And finally, Overheard at the Hash:
Skin Fiddle: “I’m good. I brought the full-body condom.”
Harriette 1: “She should date a better class of guy.”
Harriette 2: “He should use soap.”
On On,
Rash
Filed Under Trash |
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