BFM #122 - Lost Virginity
Posted on June 22, 2006
1 June 2006 – PHILADELPHIA: I was trying to think of a really clever opening anecdote for this trash, but the only interesting thing that’s happened to me this week is that I set my kitchen on fire. Again. I really would like to invite y’all over for dinner sometime, but it would probably end in tragedy, so I can’t.
Instead, I write the trash.
And this week, hashers gathered at Krupa’s in the art museum district, starting with Rash and Cunting Season, and followed by Bitchard, Looney Tunes visiting from Memphis, virgins Just Craig, Just Jennifer, Just Conan (pronounced “connin’. trust me.) Oral Oh!, Little F*ckin’ Winkie, Scooby Snatch, Bumble Beaver, Cause for Blindness, E = My Cock Squared, Strap On, Dry Hump, who joined the Mob after changing in the middle of the street in front of a bunch of college girls, and Can You Hear Me Now?
Straws were drawn and Winkie was the hare. He dashed off amid the groans, and Scooby proceeded with the longest chalk talk to date, complete with a weather report. Five minutes later, the Mob was off. West though the residential area, then over a bridge, and into…shiggy? Yep, shiggy, and lots of it, up a grassy hill, next to some mansion, then through a trail lined with poison ivy that wound through the woods and ended up across from Boathouse Row. As the Mob tore across the street, they spotted a figure sitting casually on a park bench. Winkie? Yep, Can You Hear Me Now? had caught the hare and was off laying more trail. The Mob headed off in pursuit, and winding back through the art museum district returned to the bar.
After stretching and cooling down outside the bar, the Mob trooped inside to find Skin Fiddle and Stacks. Beers were ordered, and Scooby started the circle, which I have to say featured a LOT of REALLY enthusiastic virgins. I was impressed. So, y’all? Don’t scare them off.
Aaaaaannyway, the Circle:
Hare: Little F*ckin’ Winkie, Can You Hear Me Now?
First In/Last In: Just Craig, E = My Cock Squared
Virgins: Just Jen, Just Conan, Just Craig
Visitor: Looney Tunes, from Memphis
Autohashers: Stacks, Skin Fiddle, Dances With Bum’s Urine
Hat violation: Dances With Bum’s Urine
Accusations:
Racing Shirt: Just Craig
Late web posting: Cause, and under the When One GM Drinks rule, Cunting Season
Late Trash: Oral Oh!
Chasing Rash’s ass: Scooby Snatch
Parking 800 feet from the curb: Looney Tunes
Exhibiting culture: Skin Fiddle
Late autohashery: Hold the Sausage and friends Ana and Josef
Whining in the circle: Oral Oh!
And there were birthdays! Our very own GM Cunting Season was summarily hoisted for her celebratory side-side, followed by the very good sport and virgin Just Jen.
Announcements:
Tuesday! - Bitchard and Thunder Thighs are haring for Philly H3.
July 15th - First Anal Hashtille Day D‘Artathalon.
July 7th - last day to sign up for a Hashtille Day t-shirt without some serious sucking-up to Rash.
And, everybody’s favorite Overheard at the Hash:
Harriette: “Can you suck it in for that long, Dry Hump?”
Oral Oh!: “My panties disintegrated. They were twelve years old.”
Rash: “He parks like he’s from Jersey.”
Harriette to Hasher: “Next week, you make her come.”
Harriette: “Now lick it off him.
Winkie: “Whose got her tits?”
A bunch of guys: [Raise hands]
Scooby: “And Hold the Sausage made her come.”
E: “Him. That’s a him.”
Scooby: “Him, right.”
Winkie: “Do you guys have a Tuesday in England?”
Hasher: “This is why they invented jock straps.”
On On,
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