The BFM was back to Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar in S. Philly, yo, where we are always well taken care of by our bar man, Tony. (of course his name is Tony, it’s S. Philly!) Spring had seemed to have sprung as it was a nice a night as I could remember since say… the Indian summer that lasted well into January. I am glad that it eventually became cold, I was worried there actually was Global Warming.

 

Among the hashers who braved the mean streets of South Philadelphia were: Fruit of the Clue, Tight Lips, Just Erik, Just Travis, Just Reese, Jingle Balzzz, Allturd Boy, Skin Fiddle, Little Red Riding Wood, Just Kyle, Mayor Quimby, Hold the Sausage, Beagle, E=MC2, Deep Flute, Well Hung Jury, Attila the Hung, Plastic Pud, Big Tackle, Fiber Opdick, Sly Fox, Soft Core Analyst, Rear Engineer, Sloppy Ho, Just Kate, Just Stephanie, Three Balls, Hornblower, Cause for Blindness, Can You Hear Me Now, Up Her Ali, Spanks My Minky, Strap On, LFW, Just Josh.

Cause For Blindness showed up at straw picking time and was the lucky winner of the short straw. After some protest, she went out to set trail.

 

About 10 minutes later, the mob gathered for the chalk talk. Sloppy introduced our new virgin, Just Stephanie, who Just Kate made cum. Just Reese made a comment about virgins and we deduced that he was confused about the whole virgin concept. (I hear a lot of born again virgins are confused about this very thing.) There were a couple of announcements. (We were eager to get those out of the way.) Then, E=MC2 made a bet with the pack that if we caught Cause, he would pay for our hash cash. Game on…

 

The “trail”:

 

…except, the trail was virtually invisible. The trail was so well hidden that it took a long time for everyone to find it. I haven’t seen that many check hangers scout a trail before. The others were even inspired to do jumping jacks on the trail to keep active while trail was scouted.

 

The trail headed West up Ellsworth and we were stuck right away at 10^th and Ellsworth. After some trial and error, the trail was found across Washington Avenue. The mob then headed North on 11^th street. The pack found trail on Bainbridge and then ran over the block to South Street, crossing through some Alleys. (my favorite!)

 

On 11^th and South street, the pack was lost again finding trail through some alleys (again, my favorite!) back to Bainbridge street. It seemed like a veritable circle jerk. The trail was found again by heading North up some side streets until we ended up on 13^th street. On the way up to 13^th street, we ran into some local hoodlums, who started playing Marco Polo with us…. They were also confused why we were running so long. On a Cause trail, that confused a lot of us.

 

After 13^th street and a lot of scouting, the pack gave up and went back to the bar. I met up with E and Allturd Boy, and we ran back to the bar via Fitzwater street, where we found the trail again. Instead of following the trail, we just ran back to the bar. Upon returning to the bar, we learned that we were not the last in. The hare, Cause, was still at large. Cause eventually returned with Just Erik extolling the virtues of the beer check we missed at 12 Steps Down. It seems that Just Erik accidentally caught Cause when he was lost on trail.

 

 

When the pack went back the bar, the circle started up within a few minutes. High cheerleader style leg kicks were back! With high leg kick and all, the down downs commenced led by Sloppy Ho:

 

Hares: Cause for Blindness, Just Kyle

 

Virgin: Just Stephanie, Just Kate made her cum

 

Visitors: Hornblower from Hockessin (Spanks My Minky from the Finger Lakes Full Moon H3 was missing at this point)

 

1^st In – Fiber Opdick

Last In – Cause for Blindness — wait, wasn’t she the hare? Is this a BFM first?

Autohashing: Skin Fiddle, Tickle My Elmo, Heave Ho, LFW, Just Josh, then an all GMs drink in there somewhere, HTS. While Just Josh and LFW were down downing, an unknown hasher stated, “They have a full head of hair between the two of them…”

 

Fruit of the Clue – For wearing gloves when it is in the 60s outside. (Is there ever a week when FOTC doesn’t have a down down for a piece of clothing?)

 

Cause for Blindness, Just Kyle – For not marking the beer check. The rhetorical question was raised; If there is a beer check in the forest and no one sees it, does it exist?

Just Reese – For something that Elmo accused him of that I can’t read.

 

Attila the Hung – For a duplicate accusation of Just Reese (premature re-accusation or something)

 

Sloppy Ho – For naked ambition – calling herself a lock in for RA when not yet elected

 

Elmo – For sending out the full moon invitation 30 times. Sure, go ahead and blame Yahoo! Groups.

 

FOTC – Red, White, and Blue decorations on his bike - making him look like a bike cop. (again, wardrobe related, these accusations are leaving me concerned)

 

Mayor Quimby – For reaching down and touching a mysterious substance on trail. Then, Just Reese chimed in and self accused himself of touching Bird Sh*t.

 

E = For doing that M word thing, overachiever

 

Popeye’ Bitch – Late auto hashing

 

HTS – For putting the wrong link into her e-mail to the BFM

 

Can You Hear Me Now – For being an anal dickhead about accusing HTS putting the wrong link into the e-mail.

 

 

Full Moon Hash – Friday, April 6^th, Dirty Frank’s at 13^th and Pine streets - 7:30pm. This is an A to B trail – read more details from Elmo’s 30 e-mails.  

 

Reading Hash – Friday the 13^th – It’s a road trip, who’s in?  

 

 

The band arrived at Ray’s and it was time to move onto POPEs a few blocks away on Passyunk street. The pack took it’s sweet old time to move on down the road. Plus, some are always sidetracked by bright neon cheesesteak signs. For some it’s like the call of the sirens from the Odyssey. Eventually, we are were settled safely into the land of urban hipster’s gone S. Philly at POPE’s. The pack treated itself to upscale beers and fried food. After our thirsts were quenched and tummies satisfied, the pack trickled on out.

 

“Catching the hare was the most exciting night of my life…” Just Kyle

 

 

On, on, YFF

Up Her Ali

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