BFM #179 When is a Sausage Party Not a Sausage Party?
Posted on July 27, 2007
You know, I wasn’t planning to hash this evening. I had just finished Dragon Boat practice and was preparing to rush home and scrub errant Schuykill River water off me so as not to sprout horns, but on the spur of the moment I decided to drop by at TA Flannery’s to see if anything was going on,( i.e. if there was beer yet.) Excitingly, it happened that not only wasn’t there beer yet, there was also NO mismanagement present (in all fairness, Hold the Sausage had dropped off the flour, but responsibly disappeared to be on call for the evening) AND, there VERY few harriettes. Cunting Season’s first words to me when I arrived were, "Thank God you’re here, it’s a total sausage party."
And it was. Milling around outside the bar post-trail were Anal Pro Boner, her friend (who’s name escapes me but who came to Hashtille Day and is a totally nice guy for being a lawyer), Cunting Season, Just Diane, Just Alice, The Rash, Rear Engineer, Lick Hymen, Son of a Goat Fucker, Fruit of the Clue, a visitor from Pike’s Peak, another visitor from somewhere else with "Bastard" in his name, Popeye’s Bitch, Three Balls, Dry Hump, 2 Clump Chump, He’s a Lesbian, He’s a Lesbian’s girlfriend, Nappy Headed Ho, Cousin It, Virgin Pimp, Jingle Balzzz, a guy in a green shirt, and another one with a beard, and a few other guys, plus a late appearance by Cause for Blindness. (Um, I didn’t take notes.) So if you’re keeping score at home, that was 6 harriettes, and about 5,000 guys.
Trail was pretty difficult to follow, apparently, and a good part of the pack gave up and did an extended beer check at Bonner’s two blocks over. So, um…yeah. That was trail.
Back at the bar, Fruit of the Clue whined strenuously at being assigned the arduous task of Hash Cash while, more alarmingly, Cunting Season noticed that she and I were technically the most qualified hashers to run the circle. Kind of like if there’s ever an epidemic of whatever in the US government, and suddenly the horrified realization dawns that the Secretary of Transportation is next in line for the Presidency since the guy from Housing and Urban Development is busy. (Although when in doubt, Alexander Haig is in control.)
And beers wrangled, the circle was convened:
Hares: Anal Pro Boner, and friend
First In/Last In: He’s A Lesbian, Just Brian
Visitors: The Hasher from Pike’s Peak, The one "Bastard" in his name
Autohashers: Just Diane, The Rash, and someone else
Violations:
Just Diane: for eacaping her namin last week
Anal Pro Boner: something about bad trail again
Two Clump Chump: for being annoying
Fruit of the Clue: overstepping his authority, wearing banana hammock shorts with a race logo, whining, and running to the hash, and complaining about Just Alice flashing
Just Alice: for flashing, although this is not technically a violation, but rather a commendation
Virgin Pimp: for being himself
Lick Hymen: where to start….?
He’s a Lesbian: for messing up the BC 4/14 from last week. (It really was BC 14, apparently.)
Son of a Goat Fucker: For being anal-retentive enough to want to correct a violation from a whole week ago.
Announcements:
Bruce-A-Palooza on Saturday
Lick Hymen has volunteered his place as on ongoing after-hash haven complete with Foosball.
Cousin It, Phillies Game, etc.
Eh, that’s close enough.
On On,
The Rash
Filed Under Trash |
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