BFM Hash #176 – Das Boot
Posted on July 9, 2007
I trekked out to the Northern Liberties to the Druid’s Keep. I hadn’t been in that area for a while and I am always interested to see what new bistro has opened or way too expensive condo complex has been built. It was 7:45 and I parked in a “safe” two hour parking spot that ended at 8pm. I don’t trust the Philadelphia Parking Authority. At Savoy, we called them the Philadelphia Parking Authority Ninjas or PPAN for short. (Sorry, E.) Seriously, one second you don’t see them and a minute later you have a $26 ticket on your car. “PPAN” is also the sound they make when they are printing out the ticket from their snappy, new handheld devices.
After arriving at the bar, I ran into Sloppy Ho, Just Alison, and Sloppy’s dad. He was visiting the PHL metro and stopped in at the hash for a beer. Nothing like a little parental support of the hash, Sloppy’s Dad has got it going on.
I also found out that Two Clump Chump was out setting trail; his second time in three weeks! I think he wants the crappy liquor we give out as a prize for setting the most trails. (Arbor Mist anyone? Bring on the Mist!) Also, Dancing Fool set his second trail in almost the same amount of time. Hmmm?? (but DF has more of an obsession with Poison Ivy)
I also saw one our beerly departed in the bar, He’s a Lesbian was back from his government training. I heard that all was going well and we would either see a lot of him or he would mysteriously disappear. (This could be said about many of our hashers, beerly departed or not…)
Others who made their way North were Two Clump Chump, Jingle Balzzz, Son of a Goat Fucker, Rear Engineer, He’s a Lesbian, Just Christina, Just Diane, Just Alison, Sloppy Ho, All Turd Boy, Likes the Hard One, Just Brian, Strap On, E, Little Red Riding Wood, Sly Fox, Cousin It, Up Her Ali, Just Patty, Mr. Snuff My Muff.
At about 8:02pm not 8:20 as some suspected - Sloppy and I decided to get the party started. We were introduced to our virgins and our visitor.
Virgins – Just Brian – Just Diane made him cum, Just Rob, Jingle Balzzz made him cum, Just Peter, he made himself cum.
Visitor – Just Patty from Scranton H3.
The trail:
I heard a rumor that there would be a beer check at Heave Ho’s house if she made it home in time. I had a suspicion this would be a longer run than a usual. We started out right around the bar and instantly found a back check. We ran into Nice Nuggets…Fat Ass on our way.
We ran South on 4th street for a while. Once we were past Callowhill Street, we went up into some urban shiggy near the Vine Expressway. From there, we headed toward center city. Yep, this was going to be a long run.
We ran through Franklin Square Park, which had just undergone a multi-million dollar renovation. Rear Engineer told me that they were planning on opening the Patco stop that was right below the new park. This is the second time I have heard some tidbits of PHL history from him, very Cliff Clavin of him.
We ran through, gasp… the historical district, but made it out with no arrests. Once we made it to Front St, I knew the beer check was at Heave Ho’s apartment, so I picked up the pace. At some point, we picked up a random runner. I think her name was Just Meggin or something. Cousin It spent the next couple of miles giving her the d.l. on the hash. She didn’t stay for circle, so we shall see if we see her again.
The beer check was in front of Heave Ho’s and we all had an opportunity to cool off in the nice breeze. After the check, we headed back a few miles on-in.
The circle:
Regular o’ Circle Stuff
Hare – Two Clump Chump
Virgins –
Just Brian – Just Diane made him cum.
Just Rob – Jingle Balzzz made him cum (and he is a relative…hmmm)
Just Peter – He made himself cum (well, at least he admits it)
Visitors – Just Patty from Scranton. (Likes the Hard One’s mom)
She sang us a lovely tune about whiskey.
First In – E
Last In – Not Cause, she was auto hashing. Since no one knew who came in last, He’s a Lesbian was chosen.
Autohashers – Cause, Just Diane, Just Christina
Accusations…
Comes lately – He’s a Lesbian, Likes the Hard One, Just Christina, Sly Fox, Son of a Goat F*cker
Rear Engineer accused NNFA of tech on trail.
Cousin It and Just Rob drank for running shirts.
Mr. Snuff my Muff let us all know that Cousin It’s car was booted. PPAN! The Philadelphia Parking Ninjas were at it again. I guess he didn’t pay his parking ticket in time…
He’s a Lesbian accused Sloppy Ho of calling the BFM, the EWW H3. (D’oh)
Cause is still single…
Announcements:
Move yo’ car - Two Clump was trying to save us from the PPAN. They were ticketing like crazy. Two Clump learned that you can move your car across the street, but not up the street on the same side. We were all confused by this silly logic, but ran to move our cars after the booting.
Hashtille Day Dartathalon – July 14th at The Pour House in East Falls. See e-mail for details.
7/7/07 – Global Harriettes Run in Berwyn – It is over, but next year plan for 8/8/08.
Phillies Tailgate – August 11th – Cousin It may need a ride
The rest of the night:
I went inside to escape the rain and the 100% humidity. Strap On and I found the crack box near the front door. (Minus the rest of the crack box team)
We played for a while, so if something interesting happened after that, I am really not sure. I don’t think anything really did, I saw some hashers slinking on out. After a few He’s a Lesbian cop stories (some that involved parking tickets) and a few Yards Saisons, I headed on out.
On, on, YFF
UHA
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