BFM#175 - Everyone got lei’d!
Posted on July 5, 2007
Well my notes from last week are minimal because I was busy doing some other stuff. Plus I have a pretty wicked hangover right now, so I’ll make it short (for me).
The Gynocracy’s 1st Annual (maybe semi-annual?) Adventure Boat ride brought in record attendance of hashers, visitors, and guests! Most people showed up because they were promised short to no trail. And also that everyone would get laid. Unfortunately, that last part was a typo on the original flyer, which was corrected in later communications, but some still came for that reason.
Who Came (I probably should just list who didn’t cum):
Anal Proboner, Beagle, Bumble Beaver, Cause for Blindness, Big Tackle and Just Ma Tackle, Can You Hear Me Now?, E=MyCockSquared, Europee’n On Me, Fruit of the Clue, Heave Ho, Hold The Sausage, Holy Fuck, Jingle Ballzzz, Little Fuckin’ Winkie, Little Red Riding Wood, Nappy Headed Ho, New Kid on the Cock, Nice Nuggets…Fat Ass, Plastic Pud, Popeye’s Bitch, Rear Engineer, Scooby Snatch, She Man, Skin Fiddle, Stacks, Sloppy Ho, Strap-On, The Rash, Tickle My Elmo, 2 Clump Chump, Up Her Ali, Virgin Pimp, Just Diane, Thunder Things (Thighs!), Bitchard, Jubal, Target, Cousin IT, Meat Tenderized, Wild Bill, Hand Job, Himalaya, Sternum in Rectum, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Just Joe, Just Chris, Just Steve, Just Jennifer, Just Danielle, Just Sandy. One of the Just’s is actually Preparation H from EWH3, but I don’t remember because you gave me your nerd name when I asked you. If I missed anybody, it you probably got off without paying, so lucky you!
The Mob gathered outside of Cherry Street Tavern for Sloppy Ho’s chalk talk. Sloppy and co-hare Indiana Bones led the Mob on the r*nners’ trail while I led everyone else through "shiggy" and train tracks on the walkers’ trail. This may be the only time reported in the trash that Target was the FRB. We arrived at the boat at the same time as the r*nners, as the dark storm clouds moved in threatening to break open at any second. The problem was that there was no boat at the dock, so we had to wait 15 minutes until it returned from its earlier tour. While we waited, Europee’n leid everyone, while the Gynocracy passed out PBRs to impatient hashers.
The Mob made it on board the boat just as the rain becan with our 7 cases of PBR. And we were off on our great adventure! No … wait! Turn the boat around. There are 3 hashers standing on the dock waving for us to go back. Ok, Heave Ho and co. were late getting ice for the beer, so we felt like we owed them.
After we’d set sail on our one hour tour, we quickly learned the unspoken “rules” of the boat because the boat owner would frequently come over and yell at us if we broke one of them. Like he had eyes in the back of his head or something.
- Don’t touch the air conditioner even if it’s 90 degrees on the boat. Not even a low fan. It will blow the generator and we will all float out to sea.
- Don’t pour your beer in a cup while you are in the cabin. You can pour your beer in a cup on the outside deck and then bring it in the cabin.
- Don’t open the windows. Even if it’s 90 degrees inside the boat. Get assistance from a boat employee.
- Don’t spill your beer.
- Don’t stand up in front of the Captain while he tries to drive the ship. Ok I can understand that one.
After the Mob was informed of the basic rules and where everything was on the boat Winkie wanted to know what happens if he has diarrhea. After we were clear on that, the circle was opened by Sloppy Ho.
First In … Last In:
Meat Tenderized … Heave Ho, obviously
Hares:
Sloppy Ho, Indiana Bones, Holy Fuck
Visitors:
Indiana Bones from Sri Lanka showed her tits
Preparation H from LA and EWH3 showed a tattoo
Virgin:
For some reason I think this was also Preparation H, but I don’t know why he’d drink for being a virgin too.
Cums Lately:
She Man
Autohashers:
Up Her Ali who brought her car to the dock. “I was loading the beer!”
Sloppy opened up the circle for “General Grievances” at this point, which I’m not sure everyone (including myself) understood the difference between those and “Accusations”. So here are the “Grievances/Accusations”:
-Can You Hear Me Now? accused Holy Fuck for whining about my one nettle at last weeks’ hash.
-Meat Tenderized accused CYHMN of running BEFORE the hash and changing.
-E=MC2 accused Stacks of attention grabbing with her injury from last week
-Fruit of the Clue accused Heave Ho and her virgin for making us turn around and go back for them.
-NNFA accused Sloppy Ho of running a triathalon… and when one hare drank all hares drank!
-Someone accused Jingle Ballzzz of getting ‘dissed by a midget’ and not wearing his prom shirt.
-CYHMN accused Hold the Sausage of drinking out of an open container inside the boat. I believe the rules were you cannot POUR in the boat. And when one GM drank, Scooby Snatch and Tickle My Elmo drank. He later accused her of “not learning her lesson” and continuing to drink out of her BFM glass.
Announcements:
-Philly Blue Moon Hash on Friday the 29th
-South Asian Interhash September 27-29th
-4th of July Party hosted by Fruit of the Clue, CYHMN, and Holy Fuck at FOTC’s 2pm
-Hashtille Day July 14th
- Cause is still single. But getting action.
We had a longer-than-we-had-paid-for boat ride up and down the Schuykill, which doesn’t look half as dirty at night. After about an hour-twenty, we arrived back at the dock. Half of the hashers went to Cherry Street and the other half to Bonners for karaoke. Once the hash cash was all spent at Cherry Street, this half of the Mob either headed over to Bonners or headed home. I was in the headed home group. I’ve heard the stories, and seen the pictures, but since I wasn’t there to personally witness the subsequent events that took place, you are all off the hook.
On, on!
Holy Fuck
Overheard at the Hash:
"If anyone wants my nuts, they’ll be outside" – 2 Clump Chump
Filed Under Trash |
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