Anything can happen when the hash goes to rolling hills of the Manarox metro area… We are all out of our comfort zone, we have to drive, bike, actually ride public transportation. The only happy person is usually 2 Clump, who can saunter down from the Walnut Lane compound.

 

When I arrived at the Old Eagle Tavern, only a few hashers were there – Rear Engineer, Fruit of the Clue (wearing colorful attire per usual), Two Clump and some strangers we didn’t yet know. After getting a pitcher of beer and settling in, we once again realized we were in the midst of a sausage fest. (Where or where have the hot women gone??) At some point, we pondered if it was possible for a man to fake it. Little did we know, but 2 Clump had a possible explanation. (Not that is had ever happened to him) Rear Engineer also pondered if it possible to have a life without internet access. With such deep thoughts, no wonder E and Strap On show up late to the runs.

 

Sloppy Ho and the center city bike contingent soon arrived. I learned that Just Marcel tagged along with them and rode a Pink and Purple huffy. That’s hot!

 

Taking part in the sausage fest were: Fruit of the Clue, Rear Engineer, Yack in the Box, Just Bill, Just Mike, Just Marcel, Sloppy Ho, Can U Hear Me Now, Up Her Ali, Son of a Goat Fucker, Beagle, Horse Whacker, Jingle Balzzz, E=MC2, Holy Fuck, Hold the Sausage, Virgin Pimp, Where’s My Vagina, Tickle My Elmo, Two Clump Chump, All Turd Boy, Fire Down Under, and eventually Mayor Quimby (Note: spell check called him Mayor Gumby…check out this link… http://www.gumbyworld.com/

But does Gumby sing as well as the Mayor? I am counting on one of you to come up with a YouTube video for this.)

 

Eventually, our GM walked around with straws to pick our lucky hare for the night. After I didn’t pull the short straw, I really didn’t care who else was haring. Well, not until I had to write it in the trash and run the damn trail.

 

Our lovely RA led us in some chalk talk; we learned we had a few new folks in our midst – Just Bill, Just Mike, and Yak in the Box from Everyday is Wednesday. (Yes, another one…) Can U left E=MC2 some touching flour marks. According to Can U, E Sucks. Cum on Can U, we have known that for years!

 

 

We started out down Terrace St. past Shurs Lane. There was a check at the top of the hill and the marks were leading downwards. I was skeptical. First, I don’t trust Can U and second, what goes down must cum up in Manayunk. (Hopefully, it cums up after many, many beers)

 

We went down Cresson St, past the rectory, and through a park. Some wise locals commented that we must be on a scavenger hunt. I love the people in Manarox with above average intelligence. (Maybe it’s the predominance of the Penn State education.)

 

Then, we reached the stairs. I pretty much lost the rest of the pack at this point. I learned later that we lost Just Marcel, Virgin Pimp, and Beagle here too.

 

I plugged along with help from a well marked trail and some helpful neighbors. I followed the trail all the way up to the corner of Ridge Ave. and Walnut Lane and figured there was probably a beer check at Two Clump’s compound. So, sure enough, I found the pack sipping bevies at said abode.

 

When I got there, I learned that a few folks were missing. We did a Mickey Mouse roll call and learned that Beagle, Virgin Pimp, and Just Marcel were missing.

 

I decided to head out and look for Marcel the Albanian. He is not from the country and is more susceptible than the other two, to being lost. Before I left, I learned that Sausage had corrupted minors with frosty beverages at the Philly Marathon Beer check. (This our fearless leader…)

 

I ran into All Turd Boy on the way back to Ridge Ave. He was gracious enough to help finding our lost Albanian. I hung out at Ridge hoping he would stumble there eventually and to be honest I was lazy. After about 15 mins, we gave up and went back to the bar. On the way back, I heard a confusing tale from All Turd Boy about some gay hash activity. I figured that was pretty normal for the sausage infested hash and blew it off. (Yes, that was the best I could do…) 

 

Well, ATB and I got back to the bar and soon learned that Can U had already been reamed out by some of the bar staff for his charming flour marks. E received another message from Can U back at the bar E Eat Me (like pac man, the big E eats the small Eat Me)

 

We were planning on having the circle there, but the bar manager/owner was peeved that we left the flour marks outside. Then, he didn’t want us to make too much noise in his establishment. After a few minutes of failed negotiation by Sausage and Rear Engineer, we decided to go to T. Hogans. (Mmm, one of my favorites and land of the yummy, yummy fried food washed down by some cheap beer)

 

I guess some of the local patrons must have been offended by said flour. It never ceases to amaze me how uptight and shortsighted people can be about something as innocuous as flour. If our chilly welcome at the Old Eagle isn’t evidence enough, the Ikea incident in CT is well enough proof.

 

After all of this, we were still missing the Albanian. Can U and E went on a search for our foreigner. Since we were relocating, Sloppy Ho left him a note on his colorful pink and purple huffy bike.

 

So, do do do, do do do, Wayne’s World Style to T. Hogan’s….15-20 minutes later… the pack recommenced. Still, we were missing the Albanian.

 

We began to get beer from the super slow, but at least friendly and accommodating T Hogan’s crew.

 

Soon, our RA started the circle. Right as we started the circle, crisis was averted and the Albanian was found! He eventually found his way back to the bar and was rescued by the brave Can U and E.

 

Hare: Can U Hear Me Now

 

Virgins/Visitors: Just Bill, Just Mike, Yak in the Box (well all transplants really)

 

First In – Virgin Pimp (he didn’t make it past the stairs)

Last In – Just Marcel, the Albanian

 

Auto hashers – Fire Down Under, Bumble Beaver, Just Kyle

 

Long Time No See’ers – Bumble Beaver

 

Sloppy accused 2 Clump of being a racist. When he left the Old Eagle, Two Clump was sure to mention how dark it was in Manayunk

 

E accused Rear Engineer and Sausage for not being able to have the circle at the Old Eagle

 

Can U accused Sloppy Ho for dancing like something…

 

Sausage – Accused Elmo of spilling a pitcher of beer. If this isn’t bad enough, he spilled another pitcher later in the night

 

Someone accused Can U of being kicked out of the Old Eagle before everyone got there

 

Elmo accused Rear Engineer and Holy Fuck of something I didn’t hear because you people don’t shut up during circle.

 

Sloppy Ho accused Just Marcel drank for getting a ride from his parents to the Pre-labor day hash.

 

I was accused of new shoes, but I had in fact worn them before, even to a BFM. (but maybe I bit the bullet on that one)

There were no more accusations much to Sloppy’s chagrin, but E was a happy camper. I think more than one accusation is too much for E.

 

Cause is out on date? We guess?

 

Elmo went on a rant. What else is new?

 

Things happening in 2007…

 

Sloppy has been part of the BFM for one year. (High leg kick please…)

Elmo accused her of being a pain in the ass for one year

 

Sept 15^th – Sausage and Soft Core Anal-ist are haring Philly Hash, check e-mail

 

Next Thursday at the BFM is 80s Night at the New Wave Café, there will be prizes for the best 80s attire

 

The Thursday after that is the first night of the Trifecta at Drinkers in Olde City (same weekend is the Full Moon and the Philly 1550^th)

 

If you are on the Philly e-mail list, the mismanagement of the Philly Hash wants money for the 1550^th. Bring it to Saturday’s hash. (If this message doesn’t compel you or you ignore it, check out the multiple e-mails in your inbox)

 

Bumble/Taranew One – Roller Derby – Sept 15^th

 

Elmo and mysterious others are going to McFadden’s at the ballpark Friday the 7th to drink during and right outside the Phillies game but not in the Phillies game. (Buying a ticket is so overrated) This is probably good - when the relief pitching chokes again, he can actually drink a fairly decent priced beer and get some free shots from the shot girls.

Things that are happening next year….

 

Ski Trip – Feb 2008

Phillies Tailgate 2008 – Date TBD

 

 

Elmo spilled a second pitcher of beer - Giving new meaning to the word sloppy drunk

Someone accused him of taking over from Winkie. (Note: spell check called him Winkle) He admitted that as a result his penis had, in fact, become smaller.

 

Horse Whacker asked for the men’s room. I guess the ladies room was too stinky.

 

Can U apparently has two piercings, one on each butt cheek. The piercings are used for a potential lover to grab when they want to “cum in”. We also heard about the anal herpes that he received from Meat. Lick Hymen was missing this evening, did he cum down with a case? Can U and Meat are you getting around again?  

 

Someone started to sing Ice Ice Baby. As a result, Mayor Gumby provided us with a nice rendition. (Without the spiky hair and the bad dancing)

 

We lost the Albanian again during the night. We were going to send Horse Whacker to find him in the men’s bathroom.

 

NFL Football season is officially back! (Go Bills! And Go E A G L E S! Screw the rest of your teams - unless they have a player on one of my fantasy teams)

The Colts kicked the crap out of the Saints. Addai has a slew of points for my fantasy team. Ok – yes – I admit it – I have a football problem.

 

 

RE - “Did you say you’d suck her dick for her?”

UHA - “Sure, maybe later”

2 Clump – “What’s a dick fer?”

 

When lights suddenly turned on at Hogan’s

UHA – “Ahh, you really look like that!”

2 Clump – “Do you know how many times I have heard that?”

 

On, on, YFF

 

Filed Under Trash |

Leave a Comment

If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.