BFM #188 – Irish Car Bombs Are Fun And How Many Shots Are Too Many?

Posted on October 1, 2007

It’s been awhile since I played On-Sec.  I’m always prepared but as I walked to Kildare’s I couldn’t remember if I had an extra pen since I gave my notepad and favorite gel pan to Holy Fuck when she scribed two weeks back.  It didn’t matter; I’d find something to write on and with. I was excited. This night we were hashing out of Kildare’s.  Each time we met up at Kil’s we had a great time…sometimes too good a time, which I always gauged based on my level of exhaustion the following day.  Sloppy Ho is for Bonner’s as I am for Kildare’s.  Maybe its because its clean and there’s lots of space…or maybe its because they have $5 car bombs…discuss amongst yourselves.
 
Who came:
Big Tackle, Cause for Blindness, Cunting Season, Deep Flute, E = My Cock 2^, Europee’n on Me, Fiber Opdick, Fire Down Under, Fruit of the Clue, Heave Ho, Hold the Sausage, Holy Fuck, (The) Horse Whacker, Jingle Ballzzz, Likes the Hard One, Major Piece of Ass, Mayor Quimby, Mr. Snufleupamuff, Nice Nuggets…Fat Ass, Popeye’s Bitch, Rear Engineer, Scamming Ole Ladies, Scooby Snatch, Skin Fiddle, Sloppy Ho, Strap-on, Tastes Like Chicken, 2 Clump Chump, Virgin Pimp, Well Hung Jury, Where’s My Vagina?, Just Brian, Just Billy, Just Mike, Just Jean, Just Marcel, Just Kyle
 
As I approached, Mayor Quimby was hanging at an outside table, Guinness in hand.  After we greeted, he held up his pint and declared, “I’m having dinner.”  Nice choice.  As I got myself organized, we chatted and eavesdropped on two women at the table next to us.  The one woman was saying something, and when I write “saying”, it was more like declaring since she was loud enough that all of us around could hear, about falling down and everyone saw her panties (guess she was wearing a skirt?) and her extra socks and panties fell on the ground…??  Quimby and I looked at each other, me with a puzzled expression, him with a happy and content expression. As the women were getting up to leave Quimby stated, “Man, I gotta move to Philly.”
 
I left a Stan-less Quimby to finish his liquid dinner and take hash cash while I went inside to talk to the General Manager.  At the bar I found Big T(ackle), Fiber Opdick and Heave Ho happily talking and watching the Phillies game.
 
Our trail was pre-laid this night so everyone had time for a beer (some of us had water) before heading out.  And as the mob assembled in the upstairs bar I had time to catch up with Tastes Like Chicken, Cunting Season and Heave Ho, who went to the Inter-hash in Mexico and had a great time.
 
Well Hung Jury asked me for a time check and so we headed down to circle up.  As I walked outside, I noticed a small group of on-lookers gathering around our mob in curiosity.  A semi-inebriated man called me over. “Hey, what are you guys doing?” I replied, “We’re hashing.  We’re a drinking club with a running problem.” to which he replied, “That’s cool. I’m a runner with a drinking problem.”  Based on his slurred speech, I didn’t doubt his statement.
 
Sloppy called our virgins into the circle. Just Billy made himself cum and Skin Fiddle made Just Jean cum.  We were ready to head out but Sloppy stalled since our Back-up RA, Scooby Snatch was looking for parking.  Having nothing more to say, Sloppy wished aloud for the “the Albanian” Just Marcel, to be there to tell one of his jokes, while we waited.
 
We could wait no longer.  The mob was off!  Since Well Hung Jury had filled me in on the start of trail, I knew where to go.  So while the rest of the mob was checking at the corner of 2nd and Lombard, Where’s My Vagina? and I headed off through the Headhouse market and down 2nd Street.  At the corner of Pine Street we ran into Scooby Snatch, who was wearing a tee stating “nice melons”.  We hit another check at 2nd and Pine Sts but not having physically laid trail, I only had a general idea where it went.  With the mob assuming I knew where trail went, most seemed to hang back and wait for me.  Nothing like 20+ people check hanging, leaving Scooby Snatch, 2 Clump and Where’s My Vagina? to search for trail.  It was only after I declared that I didn’t know exactly where trail was, that the mob scattered to search.
 
We managed to quickly lose trail due to the fact that we were crossing trail from the week prior and were having difficulty determining old trail from new.  Rear Engineer ventured out and up at 3rd Street and after a few "Are you?" bellows from Scooby, we heard him yell “On-On!”
 
We ran up and through Old City and at 4th and Walnut, Where’s My Vagina? pointed at Scamming Ole’ Ladies and yelled, “Tech on trail!” and he turned, smiled and continued to chat on his cell phone.  With that, around the corner comes Fire Down Under who looked as if she was out shopping or sight-seeing and figured she’d jump into the mob.  She was wearing her glasses and had a bag slung across her shoulder.  We were still glad to see her.
 
At the corner of 11th and Spruce STs we headed in for our first check- a shot check.  We were greeted by Sloppy Ho and Well Hung Jury who were offering cherry and lime Jell-o shots.  We were informed that everyone must have a minimum of 4 shots.  I happily complied.
 
Shots gone, the mob was off and as we rounded the corner and headed back down Pine Street, Fire Down Under asked me, “Do you know how many shots are too many?” I replied, “No, how many?” She said, “I’m now drunk Kate, and I had 5 shots.  5 is too many!” 

I clearly stopped taking notes (Maybe i was drunk Jeanne? :)~ ) because I have nothing that notes that we headed over into Queen Village to der Europee’nhaus and had a beer check there with lots of ice cold beer.

Back at Kildare’s the mob mingled, continued to watch the Phil’s game and ordered food while barkeeper, Megan, got the beer flowing. Sloppy then called the mob to circle up and I proceeded to get a second round of beer. As I walked into circle, Sloppy had just finished informing the mob about Pelvis Has Left The Building’s unfortunate incident.  We raised a glass in her honor with hopes she gets well soon.

 
Hare(s):        Sloppy Ho
                       Well Hung Jury
                       Europee’n on Me
 
First In:           Mayor Quimby
 
Last In:           Big Tackle
 
Virgins:
I heard someone state that Quimby had brought a virgin or his virgin showed up so people were calling for “Quimby’s virgin” to come into circle.  We saw her…she’s no virgin!
 
Cums Lately:
Auto-hashers:
Accusations:
Announcements:
 
As for the rest of the night, discuss amongst yourselves…if you remember…it was filled with a few of the harriett’s trying to massage Rear Engineer’s sore nipples, beer and more beer, ripping open Just Kyle’s “easy access” shirt, my tousling E’s new do and causing him to drop his Guinness, the Phillie’s win, Irish car bombs and a late night/early morning trip to Mako’s, Retired Surfer’s Bar on 3rd and some random drunk woman trying to start a fight with Nuggets. Good times.
 
On, On!

Europee’n on Me :D

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2 Comments so far
  1. Jen October 3, 2007 12:31 pm

    Have your notepad in my car. Not sure what happend to your gel pen but I can get you a new one if you let me know what it was.

  2. Cause October 10, 2007 3:21 pm

    My left leg was healed years ago.

    My right foot is half-healed and I am (mostly) free of medical devices.

    I am still single.