This is going to be the shortest trash ever, why, because I feel like it. No other good reason. I mean, I could put some random verbiage in here to take up space like I usually do. Hells, why not! How about a Halloween word search? You know, you can print out this page, grab a pen and/or pencil, and search old school style.

Note: You can blame my niece, Catherine, for this idea. I was helping her with her spelling homework and her teacher assigned her a word search.

 

Y J H H Z H Z K F T S Z C R A 

S D U W S D A E O U U N A K K 

Y G N F C R O H O N M G V C J 

W C O A A T S N A A N C E E K 

Z Y A O C M H A O I V M M H S 

C U K R F Z J E H N C N A C U 

X E O A C W P S R C Q D N T H 

K Z W E E O A C X A I H P F A 

M M K N I H N D Z R S L F O U 

B E E R X T K Y D I N H M C H 

C K P E Y X E Z G S Y T S E W 

S Y R E N N A L F A T C V N Z 

I T Y B C V S W H T X X P P F 

H E A V E H O R L D Z N R H W 

T M P C A Z K X Y J Z G A G I

 

BEER

BEERNEAR

CANDY

CAVEMAN

CHECK

GYNOCRACY

HASHING

HEAVEHO

KARAOKE

ONON

SHOT

TAFLANNERYS

THERASH

WESTYS

 

I actually was impressed by this part. For a bunch of FF, the costumes were clever, here is a sampling:

 

Soft Core Anal-ist – Elvis, not be confused with Pelvis Who Left the City

Snap On – A Princess

Popeye’s Bitch – Avril Lavigne, let’s face it, he looks damn good as a woman

Skin Fiddle – Organized Philly Sports Fan or a dude without a costume

Sloppy Ass Kisser – Someone wrote down Cat Woman

Cunting Season – A BFM hasher or a chic without a costume

Rear Engineer – Escaped convict. Trying to tell us something?

Two Clump – Kensington House and it looks kinda like his house

He’s a Lesbian – Captain Underpants like the hash name he almost had?

Just Christina – Sexy Cop

Horse Whacker – Chic from There’s Something About Mary, you know with the “gelled” up hair (and the inspiration for the name of the trash this week)

Jingle Balzzz – A Wolf? Where are the revealing pants

Fire Down Under – Wonder Woman

Death Wish and Yeast of Burden – Static Cling

Beagle – Marshmallow Man

Little Red Riding Wood – A boxer

Rash – Catholic School Girl – the dudes were drooling

Up Her Ali – Little Debbie

Hold the Sausage – Homewrecker

Virgin Pimp – I think Howard Stern or an actual PIMP who gets some

E=MC2 – Little F-ing Winkie, I was disappointed that this outfit didn’t include an inflatable mattress

Strap On – A witch with orange hair

Swollen Cockpit – Runner? That’s a new one!

S&M Man – Glow in the Dark Man?

Mr Snuffupamuff – Forrest Gump, the running version. You know, I just felt like runnin’

Wizard of Odds (yes, that is his real hash name, Sub Human is now banned from naming) – Russian Peace Activist, but I thought you were from Kazakhstan?

All Turd Boy – A caveman and not the one from the Geico commercials

Heave Ho – German barmaid ala St. Pauli Girl (more drooling)

Likes the Hard One – A witch without the orange hair

Well Hung Jury – Sloppy Ho

 

 

I was setting the trail, so I have a good idea where it went. We wanted to keep it short and sweet. Running in costumes can have unintended consequences, like chafing and boobage falling out. Who would want boobage to pop out?

 

The trail went in to the art museum area. Right after Mt Vernon St., we had a shot check. It was a yummy pumpkin shot check! Mmm, pumpkin for the season…

 

From there, the trail went back into the city, past Logan Circle and onto a beer check. The beer check was at a regular hash bar, TA Flannerys. The pack made a long stop here. The bartender practically forced us to drink more beer. I mean he kept pouring and pouring pitchers. Woe is us, having to drink more beer…

 

Eventually, the pack took off and headed back on in. Not before a little time on Chestnut St. to show of their costumes.

 

Sloppy Ho couldn’t make it, so E=MC2 fulfilled his duties as the emergency backup RA. I think he actually forgot he was the emergency backup RA. When I told him, he looked a bit concerned.

 

We soon learned that it was going to be the shortest circle ever. The Karaoke dude was ready to start the action immediately upon our return to the bar. I bribed him with a beer to delay the music five minutes. I think he kept time, since he started exactly five minutes later.

 

Hares – Hold the Sausage and Up Her Ali

 

Virgin – Just Kristen – Swollen Cockpit made her cum

 

Visitor – Dogman? – Alabama – No costume, sigh…

 

Autohashers – Lick Hymen, Swollen Cockpit, Just Christina, Just Kristen

And Just Christina had to drink for wearing her police hat in circle

 

Accusations:

 

Some accused Skin Fiddle of not having a costume. It was deemed a false accusation.

 

Bitchard was accused of being a racist.

 

Popeye’s Bitch was accused of whining. (I think most of us could drink for that)

 

Deathwish and Yeast of Burden were accused of copulation on trail. And when one Hockessin drinks, all Hockessin drinks.

 

Ski Trip – Register Now - $245 until Nov or Sloppy Ho will keep e-mailing until you do. Your choice bitches…  

 

200^th Hash – Coming up in December and it will be better than the boat ride. We swear!

 

On the Date of the 200^th – Festivus, start preparing your grievances…

 

This is what I wrote down for Karaoke:

 

Snap Off and S&M Man – Tiny Dancer

Snap Off and S&M Man again – Love by the Dashboard Light. (this is one long karaoke song)

The Rash – Heroes

Lick Hymen – He sang something. I wrote down punk rocker, Avril Lavigne, and Edward Scissorhands - I think I was trying to figure out his costume and I am not sure what he sang.

 

Later on…

He’s a Lesbian – I’m an Asshole (and he knew all of the words)

Cause, Jingle Balzzz, Horse Whacker, All Turd Boy – Son of a Preacher Man

Scooby, Snap Off, and Cause – Build Me Up Buttercup

And many more songs… and beer…and songs

 

The real action for me was on the way home. Jingle and I tend to walk off our beer after the hash. On the way back to my apartment, I decided to get some dinner at Gay Pizza to soak up the copious amounts of Miller Lite I drank. When I arrived the police blocked off the road and were walking near a crime scene. My neighborhood Gay Pizza celebrated another Philadelphia murder. (now aptly nicknamed Death Pizza) Of the over 300 murders in the city, this is the first in my reasonably safe center city neighborhood. It just becomes real when it is two blocks away. Not to end the trash on a sad note, but there is a feeling of powerlessness to stop this trend already in motion. If people don’t care about human life and will kill each other just for sake of an argument, is there any hope?

 

On a happier note, thank goodness for the hash! It provides some respite from the insanity of life; maybe the hash is a little insanity to conquer the insanity?

 

All I know is beer and hope spring eternal. The only difference is you have to pay for beer, but it’s worth it.

On, on, YFF

 

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