What’s up with the BFM starting on time these past few weeks?  Are we a responsible organization or something?  I got to Sugar Mom’s around 8, thinking I’d have a minute to settle in, but noooo, the Mob was already outside gathered around Hold the Sausage who was giving the chalk talk. 

 

I ran inside and threw my bag down in front of Lick Hymen, who appeared to be extra coiffed this evening. He was just gonna hang out with our bags, drinking alone.  By the time I came back out, the Mob had taken off. 

After volunteering to hare for his 3^rd week in a row, we figured Soft Core Analyst must be campaigning for "hare of the year."   No one tell him we don’t have an actual award for this - that way no one will have to hare until at least February.  SCA took along Jingle Ballzzz for the ride tonight.

-The trail went over Market, crossed over Columbus Blvd to the Seaport Museum and back. The Seaport is where we almost had another “anthrax scare” last year.  

-Eventually we crossed South Street and kept going… we figured there was definitely going to be a beer check somewhere around here.

-Finally saw a BN near Nice Nuggets Fat Ass’s place. Inside we found the hares (but only Jingle Ballzzz was covered in flour).   Someone yelled, “Hey lets look for the vegan shit!” referencing NNFA’s diet.  A few people rifled through the fridge for to see what weird stuff they could find. HEY WAIT this isn’t her house anymore! Jingle Ballzzz took over the lease.   So we decided to look for kosher shit instead.

-After the beer check, we found  E & Strap On waiting outside for us.   They always find us.

-We pretty much headed straight back to the bar after that, where we found a shitload of autohashers and some lazy asses who just stayed at the bar while we ran:

 

 

PBRs were a flowing … “These are a buck fifty… I love America!!!!”  Sloppy exclaimed as she set down an armful of tallboys.

 

Hashers soon began inquiring about the status of Nice Nuggets, Fat Ass.   The Mob had been receiving threatening emails from Sloppy Ho all week telling us to get our no-show asses out for her big send off to Germany.   But she wasn’t here and hashers were sad.   NNFA finally arrived unfashionably late, and Sloppy called the Mob to order.   

 

Circle:

Hares: Jingle Ballzzz and of course, Soft Core Analyst

 

Vistors/Transplants: Just John and Just Mike from EWH3 whose protests fell on deaf ears: “Hey! We were here last week!”   Yeah, yeah.

 

Just Megan … Just Jim made her cum. Twice.

Just Liz… “I fucked a Goatfucker and he made me cum!”

Just Dez… no clue who made him cum.

Just Justin. That’s so repetitive.  Umm.. Atilla the Hung made him cum.

 

Sloppy then pulled Justs John and Mike back in the circle to tell a joke or show us a body part.   Lick Hymen loudly chanted: “Body part!!!” Body part!!!”   Umm…   “This does NOT help your gay reputation,” Tickle My Elmo responded trying to save LH another gay trashing.   Neither transplant opted to show a thing, by the way, and maybe for this reason.

 

Autohashers: Some of the ones I mentioned before … but not the whole list.

 

Violations:

-Elmo accused Sloppy Ho of “not knowing your songs”

-Sloppy Ho accused NNFA of not having a job and not getting here by 9:30… “But  had family to say goodbye to!”  Some excuse.

-Jingle Ballzzz accused Fruit of the Clue of whining that 30 degrees is “too cold to run”. 

-Can You Hear Me Now? accused Sloppy Ho of not showing up to hash after her many threatening emails to the mob.

-Mr. Snuffleupamuff accused Europee’n on Me of getting our tee-shirts out 6 months late.

-Fruit of the Clue had some unintelligible accusation.

 

Birthday Side Side: 

Atilla the Hung, when asked how old he was, responded “Old enough to fuck.”  And the women of the hash rejoiced.

 

Sloppy called NNFA into the circle, and CYHMN proposed a toast, saying the level of karaoke would be going down “10 decimals… decibals?"   I guess both could apply, when I think about it.  The crowd (the men) began chanting “Tits out for the boys!” followed by the flat-chested song.

 

Sloppy Ho polled the crowd to find out if anyone has any good dirt on Just Brian so we can name him something other than Buttsicle.   Nope.  Ok, she’ll check back with you all in 2 weeks.

 

Announcements:

12/30 – Philly Full Moon Hash

12/6 – Festivus

12/13 – BFM 200 … more fun than a boatload of hashers!

 

Sloppy guessed that Cause must be on a date cause she’s not here.

 

After the PBR ran out, someone handed me a Jager shot.  So much for a taking-it-easy hash night. The Mob was moving on to Drinkers now. Well, some were.  The rest of us made a pit stop for pizza at SoHo.  And for some reason after pizza, I madea pit stop for a Tang Martini at The Continental.  

 

When we finally got to Drinkers, there were 2 drunk blondes,  Nuggets and Sloppy, hanging at the bar and snapping pictures of themselves with everyone and everything.  The bartender, who was obviously trying hard  to impress the pair, lit a bottle of alcohol on fire and blew a foot of shooting flames from it with his mouth.  Ooooooooo.  The S&M Man bought me a drink because he felt bad that he’s thought my name was Anal ProBoner since he started hashing.   Afterwards, things get a bit fuzzy, but I’m sure Nuggets got some good photos of everything else that happened.  

 

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