BFM #207 – Do Shots, Don’t Get Shot Deux
Posted on February 12, 2008
Well, folks, the year of the Gynocracy is drawing to a close and for we Gynocrats, we’re getting excited. For some, it’s the idea of returning to just hashing, for others it’s the potential of performing other duties, in mismanagement, out on the horizon.
When I walked into Kelliann’s the mob was already taking over the bar. I was running late and feeling rushed so I focused my energies in getting every hasher documented. I was excited as well, since I knew, with each hasher I documented, it would be the last time I’d be required to do it. Don’t’ get me wrong, it’s bittersweet as well since it’s been a great year but this on-sec is looking forward to having only one hash responsibility on Thursday nights - drinking beer.
Who came:
Horse Whacker, Stacks, Stunt Dick Double, Hold the Sausage, Cause for Blindness, Up Her Ali, Damn it Damn it, Mother May I?, Sloppy Ho, Cunting Season, Tastes Like Chicken, Softcore Analyst, Just Vic, Lake Flacid, Just Liz, Just Archana, Cherry Poppin’s, Just Rich, Just Chad, Raid R, E= My Cock 2^, Heave Ho, Little Red Riding Wood, Rear Engineer, Anal Proboner, 2 Clump chump, Popeye’s Bitch, Scooby Snatch, Mayor Quimby, Just Craig, S&M Man, Fire Down Under, Well Hung Jury, Son of a Goat Fucker, Virgin Pimp, CYHMNow?
Sloppy circled up the mob, with her normal level of enthusiasm followed the “snatch air out” she’s become known for, while Hold the Sausage handed out slips of paper. We were informed that there would be no official trail this night. The slips of paper contained addresses where we would find each of the seven, count them 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 shot checks. How each hasher got there was up to them. We were on out.
The first shot check was a block and a half away and sponsored by our Grand Mistress, Hold the Sausage. She served up Snow Cones and Amaretto Sours. I passed on the Amaretto but happily indulged in a snow cone. I stated that the color reminded me of Scope mouthwash and Up Her Ali looked into her cup and said, “Thanks, I don’t know if I can drink this now.” However, never fear, she drank it and I do believe she went back for seconds.
The mob headed out and our next stop was the Casa de Skin Fiddle. On our way, Scooby Snatch told us how he took off on Friday due to the evening’s festivities and of the conversatio, he had with his boss about why he wouldn’t be in. Needless to say, Scooby and his boss now have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy when he requests a day off.
We arrived at Skin Fiddle’s and even though I decided to skip the second shot, I wandered in to see what was being served up. Skin Fiddle was serving a shot called “Night Train Express” It sounded kinda interesting so I asked what was in the shot. He picked up the bottle and said, “Nothing. It’s called, ‘Night Train Express’. It’s like Boone’s.” Oh damn, I should have known. Skin Fiddle isn’t known for supplying top shelf liquor, unless its beer. Glad I skipped that one. Boone’s, and anything like it, is on the bottom shelf at the liquor store for a reason – it’ll give you gut rot.
We headed off to our next shot check hosted by Stacks. Half the mob was already there when we arrived and so we lined up, ready to fill our paper cups with whatever alcoholic concoction Stacks had come up with. People must have assumed it was a tech check as well because both Rear Engineer and Just Archana were on the phone. Uh-huh. They’ll drink for that later. My nose caught a familiar scent, one I wasn’t particularly fond of so I questioned Stacks. “What kind of shot is are you serving?” “Red-headed slut”, she said. I lowered my Dixie cup. The smell was of Jagermeister. This Gynocrat isn’t down with Jagar so I passed. I was still feeling the effects of the snow cone anyway.
The fourth shot check was at Fruit of the Clue‘s who served us kamikazes and Manschevitz wine. For the love of Pete people, are you trying to give us all bleeding ulcers? I stayed briefly but headed out.
We headed down Green Street. Next up was Lake Flacid, who I might add was dressed like Fred Flintstone this night. When I asked him why he was dressed in costume, he said, “It’s the hash, why not?” Good point. Here at the corner of 19th and Green, Lake Flacid and Just Julie sponsored a shot check with tasty Pineapple Upside-down Cake shots. Lake informed us that he was similar to Scooby in that every ice cube, in the shot container, had been in his mouth. A few hashers groaned but I drank my shot anyway. Why not? Saliva seems to work for the Peruvians and Bolivians when they make chicha so I’m sure it just added to the flavor of my shot.
About 25 feet down the block was our next shot check at Sloppy Ho’s. She served up oyster shooters, hot sauce and all! Yum! I grabbed myself a shot and down it went…not as easy as they normally do. Instead of raw oysters, Sloppy dropped a cooked oyster in each shot glass, which I wasn’t aware of and I almost choked trying to get it down. It had good flavor though. As I stood chatting, Just Archana came blasting through the group and walked right through the shots, sending most of them flying across the sidewalk. Scooby decided to have his oyster fly a different way…he decided that his oyster should swim upstream and he walked into the street and threw up his shot.
We didn’t need to go far for the last and seventh shot check. We walked four doors down to a waiting Rear Engineer who was serving Rocky Mountain Mother Fuckers. I have no idea what was in the shot but they certainly tasted good. I think by this point the alcohol was hitting most of the mob because no one r*n back to the bar. We crawled.
Sloppy opened circle with “Here’s to the Republican’s crashing and burning!”
Hare(s):
- Hold The Sausage
- Skin Fiddle
- Stacks
- Fruit of the Clue
- Lake Flacid
- Sloppy Ho
- Rear Engineer / Scooby Snatch
Visitor: Damn it! Damn it! from Motown / Ann Arbor H3
First In: E = My Cock 2^
Last In: Sloppy Ho
Virgin: Just Craig (Internet made him cum) coined “Craigelicious” by Sloppy
Auto-hashers:
- Well Hung Jury
- CYHMNow?
- Son of a Goat Fucker
Cums Lately:
- Mayor Quimby
Accusations:
- E = My Cock 2^ for wearing his wife’s sorority tee shirt to the hash
- Scooby for having his oyster swim upstream
- Rear Engineer for talking to his mom on trail “I’m ‘r*nning’ like I do every Thursday”
- Just Archana for tech on trail and knocking over the oyster shooters
- Cunting Season for dumping her shot (Hold the Sausage under the one when GM drinks rule)
- Rear Engineer for being an overachieving ass clown and talking about a 12k on trail
- Just Chad and Craigelicious for comparing race notes
- Someone got accused for almost hitting another hasher with their car
- Fruit of the Clue for violating his own dress code by not wearing sparkles to the hash
- Lake Flacid for wearing a Halloween costume at “Do Shots don’t Get Shot”
- Fruit of the Clue for looking like Rocky
- Sloppy for talking trash (Hold The Sausage, Skin Fiddle, Stacks, Fruit of the Clue, Lake Flacid, Rear Engineer, Scooby Snatch, Cunting Season under the when one Hare and GM drinks rule)
Announcements:
- Green Dress Hash weekend begins March 13
- BFM Elections begin
I walked our visitor back to the bar, poured myself a beer and began practicing for bfm #209. My work here is done.
On-on, bitches!
Europee’n on Me
Filed Under Trash |
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I didn’t cook the oysters, they came from a can. I know I told you all I drove down to the Delaware Bay Wednesday night to harvest fresh oysters but that was a load of sh*t.