BFM #209 - Who puts the MIS in Mis-Management??
Posted on February 25, 2008
I can answer that. We do - we do! Missing GM, missing flour and a missing HARE, plenty of straws though. I’ll start from the beginning. I popped into Krupas Tavern about 7:50 and there waiting were a few eager hashers sharing a pitcher and conversing. I said hello to the crew and set my things in the corner and Mid Night Tranny to Georgia asked me if there was a hare out setting trail. I thought for a minute as our new GM did not mention a hare in our MIS-Management group e-mail this week but I thought no big deal, live hare tonight, we can draw straws for the hare.
By then a few more MIS mangers were coming through the door and we huddled together to discuss the lack of a hare and to much our surprise a lack of the most basic part of hashing beside the BEER yes you guessed it, the flour. Expression of those present? Dumbfounded. As we stared blankly at one another 2 Clump spoke up and suggested we call Rear Engineer and have him pick up a bag of flour for us. He lives 4 blocks from Krupas Tavern but he drove. Don’t worry he gets his exercise later. As the call was being made we see him pulling into spot right outside the bar so he’s no help with the flour.
About that time Cunting Season hears about the flour situation she nearly falls off she chair from laughter. Well Wood, as in Little Red Riding, clearly being the quickest thinking of the this group hopped out and ran around the corner. 2 Clump and I assumed for the flour. Then as quick as she left Wood returned with flour in hand making a hero’s entrance saving the day.
I thought as to keep the event running I would grab the straws and begin scaring up the HARE. Ok as dumb as it sounds I have never made a group of people draw straws before and it showed. I grabbed a handful of straws bit one in half and stuck them together started presenting them to the group. Well I quickly made it through the group once and still had a handful of straws including the short one. hmm Ok I will go through crowd again. Surely the second time through someone will take the short one. Nope. The straws must have mated and started making more and more straws when I wasn’t looking because I still had a hand full of straws after that round through the mob. So a THIRD time through group and still no takers. The short one neatly tucked away in my grubby paw. Finally, I get down to the last few straws and then finally to the last one and thank god. Just then our eyes meet who is it that lucky HASHer who will get the honor of setting trail? Guess who - Little Red Riding Wood your our hare. So the poor women is stuck with thinking for the group also gets called into action to set the trail. Wood your are a real HASHER through and through. Not a piss pot like they say but still, do not try to go to heaven because they will still send you the other way!
NOW, lets get it ON-ON! Wait before that there was a dog mugging.
After the silliness with the straws and a 10 minute head start for Wood I suggested to the Engineer he should get the group moving. By his prompting the crew bounded outside for the infamous chalk talk. No virgin’s no visitors and yes 3 Balls you are not a visitor you are one of the motley crew of BFMers. Now drink for being a comes lately. Just as chalk talk was rapping across the street a ruckus was taking place. My back was to the incident but as I turned around to see what had caught my attention what I saw had all the makings of a bad Hollywood slap stick comedy.
A grown man was laying on the sidewalk with brown grocery bag half ripped with romaine lettuce in a heap and 3 or 4 oranges rolling into the gutter. A dog was running full speed down the middle of the street. Running after the dog was a tall sharply dressed man with a flipped up collar and salt a pepper hair. I mean I was waiting for the truck load of chickens to come rolling through and tip over. Anal Pro Bonner and I ran across the street to attend to the man and his partially ruined groceries. He seemed fine and refused the help so I think that only damage was to his pride. So here’s what happen. In a brief interview with the man with the flipped up collar the other gentlemen with the grocery bag was crossing the street walk toward them and tripped on the corner right in front of them. This frighted the dog and he took of running. The dog was recovered and all party’s were able to walk away unscathed.
Now the trail. ON called! We started down 27th turning left onto (how’s your) Aspen, little Colorado humor there. Then right on 26th. We got to the corner of 26th and Pennsylvania and turned into a parking lot. 3 Balls and Mayor Quimby had manged to find trail but they were on the other side of a tall fence so going around appeared to be our only option. Just as we got to the far side of the parking lot Quimby yelled to us, "There’s a gate." which he then proceeded to casually open shaking his head at this pack of goofballs passing through. Guess what, we drank for that. We got up to Meredith and wiggled over to Perot and then Olive. At 23rd we turned south and made a right on Mt Vernon. 22cnd again took us south and we hit Spring Garden. We turned up to Brandywine then Wilcox north at 19th skipping over to, I love saying this word, Uber St. then Brown to Capitol. Here is where I said, which I drank for later, "I hope Wood brings us ON IN soon because I am running out of paper writing down all the streets." West on Parish turn right on Woodstock left at Poplar skipped over to Ogden back to Parish then to Brown and ON-IN.
Circle time. Anticipation was high for the newly elected religious advisers and there brand of HASHing hilarity.
In Attendance - who came?
Little Red Riding Wood, Anal Pro Boner, SoftCore Anal-ist, Hold the Sausage, Rear Engineer, 2 Clump Chump, Midnite Tranny to Georgia, Just Archana, Lick Hymen, Skin Fiddle, Mayor Quimby, 3 Balls, Cunting Season, Just Craig, Just Justin, Mr Snuffleupamuff
Hare - As you know unless you just skipped to this part to just to read the names I recommend you go back and read the story about how she got wrangled into haring. Little Red Ridding Wood
First In - Rear Engineer - I am not sure why because Cunting Season droped out in first few blocks due to shin splints.
Last In - the Just twin Justin and Craig
Auto Hashers - Skin Fiddle, Lick Hyman, Hold the Sausage
Cums Lately - 3 Balls
Accusations
SoftCore Anal-ist - accusses Rear Engineer and Little Red Riding Wood of lack of instruction on what to do in circle with our bevage of choice which on Thursday was BEER
Mr Snuffleupamuff - accusses SoftCore Anal-ist - of complaining about writing down every street from the trail
2 Clump Chump - accusses Hold the Sausage - of going camando (in her camoflage pants)
Mayor Quimby - accusses SoftCore Anal-ist, Mid Night Tranny to Georgia, Mr Snuffleupamuff and slew of others for not finding the gate in the big fence on trail.
Annoucements
Philly craft beer festival March 1 - $40 all the beer you can drink for 4 hours - tickets near sold out.
March 28th Skin Fiddle will be unemployed because he quit his job without finding another one first.
Green Dress Weekend!!
Thursday March 13th - BFM - Green Dress Kick off Party - hares 2 Clump Chump and SoftCore Anal-ist - great trail and St Patty’s day theme with prizes
Friday, March 14th – Philly Full Moon - Green Street
Pub Crawl
7:30pm (pack off at 8pm) - $5.00 – The Green Room -
20th and Green St.
Saturday, March 15th – The 7th St. Patrick’s Green
Dress Run - 2pm (3pm hash standard time)
Bob and Barbara’s, 1509 South Street
Green Dress Run, Beer, Food, Prizes, Fun!!
Sunday, March 16th – Sunday Bloody Sunday Hangover
Hash - 11am - Jingle Balzzz Abode - 805 S. 4th St.
OK people I am out! Be good. Your boy,
SoftCore Anal-ist
Overheard at the HASH:
"Skin Fiddle is not allowed to handle to the HASH cash until he is employed again."
Filed Under Trash |
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sum good trash dammit