BFM #210– Guess who’s back, back again?
Posted on March 6, 2008
Oh you guessed it, Little F*cking Winki made the trek home for a cameo appearance this week. So what did LFW bring from the land above? No hair on his head, and no Canadian beer in his hand. Despite his apparent shortcumings, Winki draws a large crowed, or maybe it was because of Karaoke and the famous Westy’s Fries? But more on that later…
Who Came:
Rear Engineer, Big Tackle, Two Clump Chump, Son of Goat F*cker, Up Her Ali, Skin Fiddle, Fire Down Under, LFW, The Rash, Stunt Dick Double, Sloppy Ho, Tastes Like Chicken, Softcore Analyst, Tight Lips, Can You Hear Me Now?, First Down, Jingle Balls, Mother May I, Cherry Poppins, Flounder, Cause For Blindness, Little Red Riding Wood, Mr. Snuffleuphermuff, E = MC2, Virgin Pimp, Holy F*ck, Just Archana, Just Liz, Just Mike, Just Craig, Just Dan
The Trail:
Jingle Balls showed up with the chalk, and was immediately put to work (remind me never to bring the chalk). Just Archana was excited at the prospect of laying trail (remember she’s new) so Jingle graciously took her under his wing, or would it be balls? After a brief chalk talk where we were introduced to Flounder from Hershey Hash, the pack set out in search of trail. We headed west on Callowhill to 17th were trail headed south. After a few marks we found a false at Franklin Town Apartments. The Pack returned to the previous check and much to my amazement , started checking, not a hanger to be found. I guess the fact that with the wind chill it felt like twenty degrees out, had some part in it. After more searching we discovered that the false was apparently a false (I didn’t know you could do that). We cut behind the Library, as Rear Engineer commented on how nice it will look once the renovations are complete. We headed up the parkway and towards Eakins Oval where the marks appeared on trees. I noted that the marks looked like cave drawings, I assumed it was to honor the Frida Kahlo exhibit. Finally we spotted the pack, or at least the ass end of the pack, you guessed it Cause for Blindness, I never knew what she looked like from behind, and to show I have some level of tact, I will end that thought right there. After some more circle jerks around the museum area, we stumbled on the pack at 24th and Fairmount, while they stood around with a strange look of confusion, this did not last long as we were off again and headed towards Green Street. Now this can mean only one of two things, Beer check or Beer Check. And you guessed it, Beer Check at the Green Room. As we entered the bar one patron who was playing pool was overheard saying “kinda gross” towards the pack. I was tempted to reply so is too much eyeliner and that muffin top, but I restrained myself. Now there were two things I found interesting about the Green Room; One was that all of the pint glasses had advertisements for cheap Greyhound tickets (I guess when people get drunk they are more inclined to plan impromptu bus trips) and Secondly that the bar is kid friendly. Or they were having a special, pay your age for pitchers, because there were several seven year-olds running around the bar. Anyway after the beer was gone, so was the pack. Five blocks down Spring Garden Street and back to the bar.
Circle:
Ok it’s Westys so that only means one thing, out-door circle. Now before we begin it is important to note that Tight Lips left before circle commenced (someone remember to accuse her of that next time).
Hares: Jingle Balls and Just Archana
First in/ Last in: E / Cause (the eternal pair)
Visitors: Flounder from Harrisburg-Hershey
Cums Lately: LFW, Big Tackle
Auto Hashers: Sloppy Ho, Just Dan, Skin Fiddle, Big Tackle
Accusations:
CYHMN for calling E and asking him to remove the website comment he posted about the “Gayocracy”
Stunt Dick Double something about his pants not protecting his weak penis from the cold
(circle pause)
As the accusations were being announced a car pulled into the lot and headed towards us, was this it, where we busted by the fuzz. Not quite Fruit of the Clue literally auto-hashed right into the circle, so of course he drank for that.
Two Clump Chump something about my note book not being up to standards (hey I’m writing this, I can spin it however I want)
And finally I drank again for pointing out a small discrepancy in the “most haired” award from the AGM two weeks prior (it should have gone to me, but I’m done whining about it).
Announcements:
Green Dress weekend is cumming, If you don’t know already then you are dumb and we don’t want you anyway. I mean I don’t feel like copying the details so click on the link and read about them in last week’s trash
The Rash has cool, handmade, BFM shirts for $5 (I heard something about for $10 it comes with an option, but that’s unconfirmed) e-mail her for more details. She also has necklaces for $3, or $4 with a special charm (there’s a joke about pearls in there somewhere but it’s getting late so I’ll move on)
Now came the fun part, it was announced that we had a naming on our hands, now I must admit I was not fully prepared for the responsibility of a naming, being my first day on the job and all, and at this point in the night my fingers were not working to well in the cold. Anyway Just “Kansas” Dan was brought into the circle and interrogated. Nothing interesting was asked and nothing interesting was said. There was some word play with various Kansas mascots such as Cock Husker. Luckily for my sake and that of the hash, Tastes Like Chicken came through with a big save by offering up the obvious but somehow overlooked Wizard of Ass. Due to the cold and lack of other choices, it was instantly approved.
The circle made hast for the warmth of the bar and the sweet sound of the microphone.
Some of the highlights (or lowlights) of the Karaoke were:
Sky Rockets sung by Holy F*ck, Up Her Ali, Cause, Rear Engineer, and Two Clump
Dead or Alive sung by Son of Goat F*cker
In between songs I recall a lengthy discussion over the proper use of dawn vs. don as in:
It finally dawned / donned on me!
One intelligent source concluded that it was Don as in Don Corleone but this is incorrect.
At this point the pack died down, since I had off the next day I stuck around to see what goes on late night, and as expected some people who were supposed to leave with others did not, and some people who weren’t supposed to leave with others did, but their secrets are safe with me.
Well that’s about all this man-sec has to offer so until next time…
On, on you crazy diamonds,
Two Clump Chump
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Actually, I hared the most last year with 8. Again, Two Pump Chump lets the truth get in the way of a good story! Don’t believe a word he says! Oh, and his notebook was yellow with pink flowers on it, thats right PINK flowers. totally gay, dude.