BFM 228: The 40th of July
Posted on July 6, 2008
Its way too crappy to go outside today, and I’m exhausted from trying to keep a few hundred teenagers entertained all weekend. That means you are getting the treat of early trash. To make it extra special, I can’t read my notes, so not only will trash be worse than the drivel you have come to expect, but with the added bonus of being completely wrong as well. Try to contain your excitement.
The mob gathered at Cherry street tavern. I got there early, and wandered about aimlessly with about half the mob. Fruit of the Clue arrived, and I think I can speak for everyone in saying that we were all disappointed to learn that he (and his shorts) will be out running again. Tonight he chose something understated from “way back in the drawer.” On that note, I decided that would be a good moment to go inside to drop off my stuff, but I couldn’t help but notice Target putting The Moves on one of the virgins. Not wanting to get in the way, I skedaddled outside just in time to see our hare Little Red Riding Wood arrive back covered in chalk. Rear Engineer gathered the mob together and led us in chalk talk
Who Came:
Hold the Rimmer, Just Chad, Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Target, Cousin It, First Down (who tried to hide), Fruit of the Clue, Jingle Ballzzz, Little Red Riding Wood, Mr Muff, Pink N Puffy Rides the Huffy, Piss Cycle, Rear Engineer, Scooby Snatch, Skin Fiddle, Son of a Goat Fucker, The Rash, Two Clump Chump, Virgin Pimp, Just Jessica, Jubal, Big Tackle, Major Piece of Ass, Likes the Hard One, Anal Probonor, Sly Fox, Just Adriana, Just Pendejo, Soft Core Analyst, Capt Handaroo, Just Asley, E, Strappy, Jubal, RaidR, Dublin Dick, Just Melissa, Just Jessica, S&M man, Just Dev, Scooby, PissCycle, Panic Button, Poodle? Principal Fuckup, Can You Hear Me Now? Attilla the Hung
Trail wandered north towards the academy of sciences (where Just Peter got so distracted by the PIRATES!!!! exhibit that he crashed into a perfectly innocent curb) We ran straight through the 4th of july food tents that had shut down Ben Franklin Parkway, and down across Wood st. before looping back towards Rittenhouse square
Trail led past the chic outdoor restaurants (and some extremely high quality plastic surgery) and behind CYHMN’s apartment building. Not wanting to be seen with us in public, he let us in through the back door, and up the freight elevator to the roof deck.. He did take care of us, there was a case of Budweiser 40’s (with a couple of extra colt 45’s) thoughtfully provided and enjoy we did. I felt just like Tina Turner in “Confidential”. Signs were posted about not throwing things off the roof, but several cunning linguists in the group noted that nothing was posted about jumping off. I know that spending enough time with you people made me seriously consider it. Eventually we meandered down and back on trail. We were supposed to be obnoxious and go straight through the screen of office space. Unfortunately there was a national security event, with the popo, paramedics, fire department, and homeland security all involved. Not wanting another wolfman incident, we got turned around and shortcutted back to the bar, where S&M Man took the initiative (and a hollowed out flamingo) to make sure we were all as drunk as possible before circle. He did his job well, we were much more of a mess than usual. Rear Engineer then gathered us together for circle
Circle:
Hare: LRRW
Virgins: Regina – Muff, Ashley – Captain Handaroo, Adriana –Self, Chrissy - Rear
Visitor: Captain Handaroo, Dublin Dick, Panic Button, and Just Melissa – there was one good joke in there about pirates, bleached blondes and eyepatches.
First In – E
Last In – Cause
Comes-Latelies – Just Chad, Principal Fuckup, Major Piece of Ass, Like the Hard One
Auto Hashers – Skin Fiddle, Pink and Puffy, and Principal Fuckup
Accusations
Jingle Ballzzz – violating his restraining order by stalking 13 year old boys on the way to hash
Scooby – being too good to run with us and biking instead.
Rimmer – running w/o his shirt. Seriously guys, I don’t think consequences are reaching this kid
RE running circle while a visitor at Baton Rouge
RE for a Viking hat violation
Jingle and Soft Core – being twinsies in the circle and representing another hash
And when one on-sec drinks, 2 Clump, Hold the Sausage, and Scooby
Skinfiddle – insulting fine guiness beer
Somebody was accused of food in circle.
Just Peter – was accused of hash crash
FOTC – was accused of poor fashion sense
Naming
We had a naming this evening, and Just Jessica kneeled before the hash. Several names were tossed out, Upper Deck Her, Betty Boob, Germ Gurgler were crowd favorites, but ultimately she was named, “Cleavage to Beaver”
Announcements:
Haberdashery – The Rash will talk to you. – when she’s good and ready.
July 8th - Philly Hash - hared by Mandongo in West Chester
July 10th - BFM # 229 – tentatively in Manayunk at 105 Social
SomeTime - Philly Full Moon Hastille Day D’Artathalon - somewhere
July 17th BFM #230 – Shiggy on a BFM trail????. Bring long pants, and a flashlight. And maybe a rape whistle.
July 19th - Philly Roller Girls - Philly Roller Derby Doubleheader! Doors at 1, bout at 2. Bumble Beaver AKA Tara Newone will be there and promises a pool party after the night is over http://www.phillyrollergirls.com/
July 26th – Phillies Tailgate organized by Cousin It
August 9th – Bruce-A-Palooza in Cape May. See website
September 6 - Year of Strap On - Philly Hash # 1600
All day event Saturday 9.6.08
$25 (pay before July 4)
Strap On-Ninja T-Shirt - $10
Register and t-shirt here: www.phillyhash.com/strapon
Quotes of the Night:
Cleavage to Beaver - What are the odds I get 2 cougar cups?
S&M Man – I already told her its not going to fit in there
Just Chad – That’s classy with a K (referring to an unk hashers choice of clothing)
Cleavage to Beaver - I want to move in to this roof deck!
Unk Hasher – You mean move in with Can You?
Cleavage to Beaver – No I’d rather be homeless and indigent. But on the roof deck
Jingle Ballzzz
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That’s not the date for the D’Artalathon/Full Moon AGM. Not this weekend. Maybe next. We’ll let you know.
wasn’t D’Artalathon one of the 3 Musketeers?