BFM # 230 – Hash By Me (The not so ultimate Shiggy Trail)
Posted on July 21, 2008
While cruising down the parkway, looking for a place to dock, I saw many a hasher aimlessly wondering about looking for the bar. The scene reminded me of a cheesy zombie movie, with a glazed look in their eyes the hashers were searching, only for beer instead of humans (I think). See no one mentioned that the bar was in an apartment building. As I approached Gallagher’s Tavern (no relation to our RA), I was relieved to find that there were separate doors for the bar and the lobby, we might have a chance at not getting kicked out of this one.
Who Came:
Big Tackle, Billy G Goat, Cause for Blindness, Clevage to Beaver, Cum on my Tits, Cousin It, Dancing Fool, E=MC2, Fruit of the Clue, He’s a Lesbian, Hold the Sausage, Holy Fuck, Jingle Ballzzz, Just Adriana, Just Dev, Just Jen, Just Julie, Just Justin, Just Mark, Just Steve, Lick Hymen, Little Red Riding Hood, Mayor Quimby, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, Nappy Headed Ho, Piss Cycle, Popeye’s Bitch, Raider, Rear Engineer, S&M Man, Scooby Snatch, Short Distance Rimmer, Sloppy Ho, Strap On, Subcuntinent, The Rash, Two Clump Chump, Up Her Ali, Virgin Pimp, We’re Not Voting, Working Girl
The Trail:
Now a quick note on the trail, this was pegged as the Ultimate Shiggy trail, unfortunately our lawyers and Police liaisons advised us against this, so portions of the trail were omitted; however, it was still Shigg-tastic. After a brief outdoor chalk talk where we learned about chicken trails, the pack headed off towards the parkway with a speed and excitement not normally seen from our check-hanging hashers. Due to various overachieving activities, I opted to take the walkers trail; unfortunately this consisted of walking two blocks to the Art Museum for the second beer check. I was treated to the details of the first beer check, while waiting and for the pack, and being eaten alive by bugs. The first beer check was on a grassy knoll by some train tracks on 22nd street, and that’s all I have to say about that. While waiting for the pack we noticed a cardboard bed with a stained pillow, and a tube of suntan lotion nearby. One hasher commented that it looked like Dancing Fool and S&M Man had a rendezvous planed. As the pack approached we directed them to the stash of beer, and they willingly marched into the dark and questionable path into the woods. One hasher asked” is this where the Fairmount rapist lives” (read this article, the picture and description sound a lot like a “bike riding” hasher we all know) The pack began filling out of their drinking den and off towards the on-in. I offered to help Jingle Ballzzz transport the rest of the beer, in his car, to circle. Through some poor navigating and a bit of confusion as to where he left the on in at, the pack beat us, and were standing around some train tracks with their normal confused look. Once the circle supplies were unloaded we began trekking down the train tracks as at least 5 people asked if we were in the scene from Stand By Me, which I recently discovered was based on a Novel by Steven King (is there anything he hasn’t written). As we marched deeper into the “woods” I pointed out that we weren’t getting any farther from the houses, just farther from our escape route if the cops show up. After settling on a spot, or co-RA Rear Engineer pointed out that although these are live tracks, we shouldn’t see any trains, but be careful.
Circle
Hares: Jingle Balls/ Little Red Ridding Wood
Virgins: Just Justin by Maxim Just Mark by Up her Ali
First in/ Last in: Working Girl/ E=MC2
Visitors: None
Cums Lately: Cum On My Tits, Just Steve, Nappy Headed Ho
Auto Hashers: Skin Fiddle, Hold the Sausage, Two Clump Chump, and Up Her Ali/Big Tackle joined us at the second beer check after dragon boating
Accusations
Subcuntinent for bringing an umbrella on trail
S&M Man for doing well on his Med Boards (they must have lowered the standards)
Fruit of the Clue for having a picture of his entire family in the bath tub
Rear Engineer & He’s a Lesbian for wearing matching shirts and Cause for wearing the other half of Rear’s socks, which had a mysterious white stain on them
Right about this time someone yelled train, and sure enough a train came roaring down the tracks at a blistering 15 mph. Everyone scrambled to collect the beer and a few hashers sought cover deep in the woods and up in trees. As the train rolled through we realized this could be a while as an impromptu “why are we waiting” broke out. Just as the mismanagement attempted to reconvene circle, the train passed and circle continued with the first accusation going to:
Rear for claiming that we would probably not see any trains
Nappy Headed Ho for claiming we would get sucked in by the train if we got too close
S&M / Cleavage to Beaver for showing up at Sausage’s as S&M Pirates
Lesbian something about not getting a stupid joke about girls
Jingle Ballzzz for confusing Midnight Tranny with Cum On My Tits
After circle we marched back to Gallagher’s to continue drinking. The pack was busy marveling over the 11 types of fries on the menu, while the mismanagement was scheming something. Just then we were called to the back of the bar for a possible renaming. Of course everyone started chanting “Were not voting” (see trash 229), but it was Midnight Tranny to Georgia brought into the circle. A story involving Cleavage and sweaty balls was told, and the pack was given the option to rename “Sweaty but Big” or keep Midnight. The pack voted to keep, and thus ended another failed attempted at naming. On a personal note, if we call for a naming every time Cleavage says something dirty, we won’t be able to remember anyone’s name. The pack went back to drinking and eating, I was called over by an un-named hasher who told me they think they were just hit on by another male hasher (don’t ask don’t tell).
Announcements
Phillies Tailgate: I don’t know the details it’s like a month away, ask Cousin It
BFM #231: Cavanaugh’s River Deck
Bruce-a-palooza: There is a web site www.bruce-a-palooza.com (it’s real I checked it out)
Strap on’s “Ninja Dildo, 69 reversed and then doubled hash”
Over Heard at the Hash
Working Girl “What do we do with the Chicken?”
Piss Cycle “I’ve always wanted to do it in a tunnel”
On, on,
Two Clump Chump
Filed Under Trash |
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